Friend In Reach

Resolution for 2012: De-Friend Your Fears!

2012-01-08T14:48:00.000-08:00

Written By: Gina

We all have New Year’s resolutions we intend to stick to. Mine are to once and for all stop yo-yo dieting and to be open to new experiences and I am off to a good start! I am inspired by great quotes that motivate me, and I’ve seen two on Facebook recently (thank you Irene!), that I wanted to share for many reasons. The first reminds us that we can’t do anything about the past so stop obsessing about it, and the second reminds us that we control all things that affect us…only we can allow others and situations to make us feel hopeful and fulfilled or inferior and insecure.

For a while now, I have been dealing with something huge, personally. Probably 98% of the people I know have no clue what I am going through because I am like a duck on a pond. On the surface, everything looks great- perfect and calm, but underneath I am paddling like hell! I totally [think I] give the impression that I am always in control and nothing can hurt me. Some think I over-share with every little emotion, but that’s not true. Some things- really big things- should remain personal and private, and how you handle them within your own four walls is the true measure of strength. Some things are too big and scary to face head on but I am a firm believer that in order to live an honest and fulfilled life, there’s no other way.

I sometimes wear a coat of armor with people I don’t know well or trust to protect my feelings and insecurities and I know others do the same with me. But everyone has a story and a struggle. Everyone’s pain and strife is relative to their life. It’s the relationships we have without that armor that are most cherished. It’s the relationships we have where you can have a disagreement and get past it that matter the most. Unfortunately though and in many cases, a lot of assumption happens and sadly, the easier choice in how to deal with each other is to just not care or have empathy & understanding for the other person. Unfortunately, I do that more than I would like to admit and it’s not something I'm proud of. It’s easier to assume rather than ask for the truth. People are busy working, trying to raise families and deal with their own lives, that we sometimes forget everyone just wants to be loved and belong…the point being, that comes from within us! As I tell the twins all the time when they tell me they feel insecure or scared about doing things like making new friends in school or approaching someone on the playground, “All those kids feel the same way as you!”

It’s easy to get caught up in the negative- to doubt ourselves and to listen to and accept what others say about us...especially if it’s bad. Why can’t we listen to and accept when others say great things? When someone says you are beautiful, accept it and say thank you! When someone wants to hear your story, be open! When someone asks about your hopes and dreams, it means they are interested. But as my friend Carla reminded me the other night of something Maya Angelou said, “when someone shows you who they really are, you better believe them the first time.” Have the confidence to let those relationships go and move on. If someone is bringing you down and not making your life better and more beneficial, and if they are not willing to do the work to create peace and harmony based on understanding and respect of all views, have the confidence to say, “I’ve had enough!”

I want honesty and clarity in my life. I want to be a good person and enjoy my children. I want to be surrounded by kindness and love, and when I’m not, I will feel comfortable saying goodbye to people and situations that create that disconnect. I want to stop being so hard on myself. But am I doing all I can to be understanding and not judge? Am I allowing people to be themselves in my presence, and am I being my true self with them? How many of us ask that question enough? I watch Joyce Meyer every day and she inspires me to face my fears. She tells me to be confident and to have faith and so I wake up each day and try to do better. As Maya Angelou also once said, “When you know better, you do better.”

I’ve spent the last couple of years teetering on a tough road. I’ve had struggles that would surprise everyone. I’ve also had so many amazing experiences and happy times. I have had fortune, love and conquered many fears. I have come to accept that I cannot change others nor do I want to, and just because I think something should be done a certain way, does not mean others share my views. There are some that love me as I am and welcome my advice and opinions. My kids think I am the best (until they get older at least! haha) and my parents love me and tell me so all the time. How great is that? I am grateful for my life to the core and God knows it. I have done a ton of self reflection- I am doing my part.

I believe we should be honest. I believe we have a responsibility to live our best life because we only get one! I believe we should be kind and show compassion because we never know when we may need it in return. I believe we have to give to get and that blood is not thicker than a really staid and true friendship. I believe we should be grateful for every moment and every blessing and wish the same for others. I believe how we raise our children is our most important job. I believe in God and I know I am loved.

On www.notsalmon.com, Karen Salmansohn shares a lot of great sayings. Two of my favorites are, “View your life with kindsight. Stop beating yourself up about things from your past. Instead of slapping your forehead and asking, “What was I thinking?,” breathe and ask yourself the kinder question, “What was I learning?” And the other, “De-friend your fears,” is fantastic! Hence the title of this blog….

The following post really inspired today’s writing:

Rules for 2012:
Stand up for yourself. You are a person, not a doormat.
Stop loving someone who doesn't love you back the same way. You aren't a saint. You're a fool.
Don't chase anything. Let it come to you. That's how you know it was meant to be yours.
Put to bed old dreams that no longer bring you passion, and wake up to the ones that do.
Say goodbye to anything that doesn't serve your highest good, so you have room to welcome what does.
Focus your thoughts and actions on what you want, not what you don't want.
Give your energy to yourself first, then others. Just like those oxygen masks on a plane. You can't save anyone if you are already dead.
Love yourself first, honor yourself first, respect yourself first, and others will feel safe enough in your presence to do likewise.
Dream bigger. You'd be surprised how often you end up with the level of your expectations, so why the hell not expect the biggest and the best.
Don't ride anyone's coattails or hitch your wagon to anyone else's star. They have their own damn wings. Let them learn to fly on their own.
Be an inspiration, not an irritation.
Share your mistakes so others might learn from them, too.
Open your heart, but keep good boundaries.
Trust yourself.
Listen to your gut.
And don't forget to breathe. ~Marie D Jones

I am going to start off the New Year by reading this daily. I am going to open myself up to new experiences and people. I am going to focus on the good. I am going to be kinder, honest and I’m going to worry about what others think about me less. I am not going to lower my standards for anyone. I am going to do my best and give 100% because I find value in how I represent myself and my family. I am going to continue watching Joyce every day and thank God for all I have been given. I am going to continue spending time doing things that make my life better and I’m going to love my husband and children.

Happy New Year!! May you all have the peace and clarity to see your path to happiness. May you have the strength to make the changes that allow you to live your best life. May you all have the ability to de-friend your fears!

In peace & love,

Gina

Governor Jerry Brown Approves AB499...How It Affects Our Rights

2011-10-23T14:33:00.000-07:00

Written By: Gina

Are you paying attention? Have you heard about AB499 and do you how it affects your family? If you live in the State of California and you have minor children, your rights have just been jeopardized. Governor Jerry Brown signed this bill into law just this month.

AB499 allows minors as young as twelve to be vaccinated against STD’s, specifically by giving the HPV vaccine Gardasil in prevention against Cervical Cancer and genital warts, without parental consent. That’s right- your child can be vaccinated while at school, even if you have previously refused the vaccine for your child- without you ever being notified or asked if it’s okay first.

The side effects of this vaccine are: Pain, swelling, and redness in the area of the injection, fever, headache, nausea, dizziness, vomiting, cough, toothache, joint pain, insomnia, among a variety of other things. That’s what is usually communicated about the vaccine’s side effects but that’s not the whole truth. A parent deserves to know about a vaccination in full detail so they will be ready if their child experiences any side effects.” http://www.change.org/petitions/overturn-measure-ab499.

In truth, the side effects have been far more crippling. The CDC website http://www.cdc.gov/ states that the following have occurred due to the Gardasil vaccine: 68 death reports, blood clots, and muscle weakness including Guillain-Barré Syndrome. In fact, 102 have died as of August 2011, and 26,000 have injuries ranging up to severe. The CDC website also states, “The most important thing you can do to help prevent cervical cancer is to have regular screening tests.”

But that’s not even the point of this blog. What I am saying is that we should have a choice..whether or not we want to give our children this vaccine and others…and should have a say in what is being done to our children while they are at school.

“It should go without saying that minor children do not have the capacity to make informed medical decisions, especially when these decisions involve weighing the risks of using a drug that has the potential to cause injury and even death.” A child cannot bring aspirin to school for a headache, and young girls cannot bring medication for menstrual cramps, but they are expected to be knowledgeable and decisive about the Gardasil vaccination and its side effects? We have allowed the Pharma/Vaccination lobbyists to have far too much influence over such decisions, and unless we get these Senators’ attention loud and clear, our children may be bullied, harassed, or misinformed into consenting to be vaccinated with something you may have already made the decision as a parent to decline. http://www.nvicadvocacy.org/members/Resources/StopAB499.aspx. I am embarrassed as a California resident, to adnit that we have allowed ourselves to be stripped of our rights! How can we be so apathetic about something so important?

On the same day he signed AB499, California Governor Jerry Brown also signed SB 746, a ‘first-in-the-nation’ law to prevent children under 18 years of age from using tanning beds, and, just a month earlier, he vetoed SB 105, a bill to mandate ski helmets on underage youth, citing his concern with the ‘seemingly inexorable transfer of authority from parents to the state,’ saying, ‘I believe parents have the ability and responsibility to make good choices for their children.’ http://www.genengnews.com/industry-updates/california-catholic-conference-statement-on-gov-brown-s-signature-of-ab-499/131048619/.

So why then, the decision to sign AB499? Especially at a reported average cost of over $360 per treatment and at 100 percent taxpayer expense? Dr. Diane Harper, a former lead researcher for the controversial vaccine, told CBS in 2009 that serious side effects could prove riskier than the HPV it purports to prevent, and that “young girls and their parents should receive more completewarnings before receiving the vaccine.”

Obviously some teens will have sex no matter what they are taught. Some won’t use a condom during sex and some won’t have their annual Pap Smear. There are some teens that do not have parents that are involved in their lives. But at the very least, parents should have the right to be informed or asked before such decisions are made. ALL parents should not be punished for the apathy of a few! That we gave up our right as a state to control such decision-making is shocking to me.

Discussions about vaccines usually turn into arguments about whether or not we should or shouldn’t give them to our kids. AB499 is not about the vaccine, it’s about our parental rights! The state is attempting to assume our role as our child’s parent and this bill should have been stopped. The NVIC had sent two alerts to California residents since June asking them to be aware of and oppose this legislation, yet this bill was stilled approved. What rights will be stripped from us next?

How do you feel about AB499?

Gina

The Wrong Diagnosis

2011-08-12T13:33:00.000-07:00

Written By: Gina

In the past three months, I’ve had two occasions where I’ve received the wrong diagnosis through our Urgent Care facility. This is concerning for obvious reasons but also because the after-effects of these missed diagnosis’ could have been avoided.

Wrong Diagnosis #1: Two months ago, my daughter was complaining of a very sore throat, so much so that she could not sleep or get comfortable. She could not eat because it hurt to swallow. She also had a fever that spiked to 104 degrees two nights in a row. On the first night, I called the doctor on duty through my regular doctor’s office and was told that Strep Throat was going around and to monitor her temperature by alternating between Tylenol and Motrin every four hours. Even in doing so, my daughter tossed and turned all night from the sore throat pain. The next morning she seemed to be better and her fever was gone, but I kept her home from Bible School because I didn’t want her to get another child sick. I thought she was on the mend, but then again by dinner time she was beside herself in pain. I know I’m not a doctor, but I am with my kids all day every day so I know when something just isn’t right. Of course, this happened on a Friday night after my regular doctor’s office had closed, so off to Urgent Care I went with two kids in tow. I explained the symptoms to the doctor, and he told me my daughter had a cold. A cold!

I explained the throat discomfort she was having and told him that the doctor on call the night before suggested Strep Throat was going around and asked if he could take a throat culture. The simple fact that I had to ask was frustrating enough, but he agreed with a slight smile on his face as if to say, “Okay Mrs. Know-it-all. I will do the culture but just to prove you wrong.” Which he did- the test was negative. However, he had looked in my daughter’s throat and viewed the redness and swelling and still insisted she had a cold. That was the second night my daughter’s temperature rose to over 104 degrees. She was miserable. The next day was a Saturday, so we were forced to go back to Urgent Care but fortunately this time, there was a Pediatrician on staff. Within two second of looking at my daughter’s throat, he diagnosed her with Hand, Foot, Mouth Disease. It took 3 days and three different doctor’s to diagnose the problem. Hand, foot, Mouth Disease is incredibly contagious so it’s a good thing I kept my daughter out of Bible School which is where I assume she got this in the first place. All I could think was, “Were there other kids that went to the same Urgent Care over the course of that week and were given a wrong diagnosis only to return and spread the disease to over 900 kids attending the Bible School?” In the meantime, my son of course wound up getting the illness as well. Had we known Hand, Foot, Mouth Disease was the problem, we would have worked harder to keep him quarantined, including keeping him home from Bible School as well. At least by the time my son got the disease, we knew what we were dealing with. And interestingly enough, the magic solution- the thing that made both of them comfortable and took away the pain, was a holistic throat spray my dad happens to have and use all the time. Once the fevers were gone, it worked better than the Tylenol & Motrin.

Wrong Diagnosis #2: I dropped a heavy music mixer on the top of my foot while cleaning my son’s room and could barely walk from the pain. Of course, again, this happened on a Friday night (yes I have thrilling weekends!) so I had to go to Urgent Care to have it x-rayed. The x-ray did not show a fracture or so I was told, so the resident doctor gave me an ace wrap and sent me on my way. Fast-forward to three weeks later and I still cannot walk. So I called my regular doctor’s office this time, had my foot re-x-rayed and found out my foot does, in fact, have a hairline fracture. Deep down, I knew my foot had to be broken. I was limping and unable to stand fully upright and it would take upwards of 15 minutes every morning to get out of bed and gather the strength to get moving because I knew I would be in pain.

All that wasted time is very valuable to me. No one wants to go back to the doctor’s office over and over again. With what most of us pay for insurance coverage, we would expect to be diagnosed correctly the first time! Any of you that have read older blogs know that my daughter was also once wrongly diagnosed with Alopecia when she in fact, had Hypogammaglobulinemia which is an Immune Disorder. The treatment medications for Alopecia are steroids which if had been given to her, would have further destroyed the little immunity she had.

I have made it standard practice to do research and ask a lot of questions regarding what is going on with me and my children medically. I know I’m a pain in the neck to the medical community but if I weren’t, I would have had a lot more inconveniences and problems than I’ve already had by taking medications I didn’t need for diseases I didn’t have. If I had accepted my daughter’s diagnosis of a cold, I would not have been able to call my sister and warn her about infection as her kids had been around mine all week at Bible School. If I had accepted the wrong diagnosis regarding my foot, I would still be walking around in pain on a broken foot. If I had accepted the wrong diagnosis of Alopecia for my daughter…..well, I don’t even want to think about that. The point is, I have been let down more than once by people who should know better or want to try harder. I do not want to disrespect or second guess every medical professional I come in contact with- I actually have a degree in Health Education because I believe in it so much! And I have the utmost respect for doctor’s and all that they do. I would assume most choose the profession to help people and to help cure illnesses. But I personally have come to find that I need to trust my gut and get involved. How many times have you heard the expression, “A Mother’s Intuition?” There’s merit to that. You should be your own medical advocate. Ask questions, seek answers. It’s your body & your health and the more you know, the easier it can be to make good decisions.

Everyone has the right- and I believe the responsibility, to know their health and question the things they don’t agree with. Trust your intuition and don’t be intimidated into accepting everything you are told. Part of the problem is that we are rushed through 10 minute doctor’s appointments..how can anyone properly convey the symptoms they are feeling to get the correct diagnosis? Write things down, keep notes, make a chart, educate yourself- these are all things you can do and use to clearly and accurately communicate signs and symptoms to your doctor. A little education goes a long way and can give you the confidence to ask your medical professional intelligent questions about your future health and wellness.

Gina

FW: "What NOT To Say To Someone Going Through Infertility"

2011-05-19T14:52:00.000-07:00

Written By: Gina

Over the years, I’ve had several people contact me asking how they should deal with a friend going through infertility. A lot of people don’t know what to say or whether they should share pregnancy news with their friend. If there’s one thing I know for sure, it’s that every woman and man is different in how they deal with each infertility situation. The best advice I can give is to ask what the person wants and of they are open to a conversation about it. Sharing opinions or insights about infertility may not the smartest thing to do unless you know it’s welcomed.

This past week, Alicia asked our “Infertility Hurts” Facebook members to share some of the most hurtful comments they have received regarding their infertility, from friends, family and co-workers. I have to admit that even I was surprised by how harsh some of the comments were! When we started this blog, we wanted to help alleviate the shame and pain associated with infertility. There is no better way to do that than to share the exposed raw emotions of these women facing this issue. These comments are invaluable because they give an inside view of exactly what NOT to say to someone you suspect or know may be going through this. I remember very well how some of these comments made me feel (yes, I have a few included!), but more importantly, if you know someone going through infertility, this can perhaps guide you in conversation with them. Or if you personally are suffering from infertility, know you are not alone in having to deal with such comments- all of us have felt your pain.

Unfortunately but not shockingly, some of the coldest and nastiest comments came from mothers-in-law.
The following comments were shared by our Facebook members:

“If you can’t get pregnant, then God doesn’t want you to have a baby.”
‎"Maybe it’s not meant to be."
"Stop trying so hard."
‎"It’s because you’re stressed!"
‎"Just be thankful for what you do have."
‎"Why are you making such a big deal out of nothing?"
‎"You wouldn't want all this morning sickness anyway.”
"It wouldn’t hurt you to lose a few pounds."
‎"You couldn't handle 2 kids anyway."
‎"Are you guys ever going to have kids?!"
“If you can't get pregnant then it wasn't meant to be & God doesn't want you to bear children.”
"You know why you have such a nice house? Because you don't have kids."
"If it was that important to you, you would find the money to do IVF…. even if it is $6,000, you would make it happen."
“Are you sure you want this?”
“Just give it time & it will happen.”
"Just hurry up and get pregnant so you won't have to go to any more exams."
“You should just stop trying and it'll happen.”
“At least you can still drink liquor!”
“You don’t need kids.”
“Did you have an abortion in your past?”
"Why don't you adopt? A lot of people who adopt get pregnant right after that!"
“Just relax- it will happen in time.”
“You’re stressing, that’s why you’re not getting pregnant!”
“It will happen when you stop trying.”
“You should adopt.”
“Are you pregnant yet?”
“Why are you upset? Just adopt & whatever you do, don't get obsessed with trying to get pregnant and spend thousands of dollars.”
“You’re thinking about it too much.”
“You're just not ready..it’s not your time.”
“Maybe you were only supposed to have one child.”
“Everything happens for a reason.”
“Would you rather have cancer?” (From a husband!)
“Quit making such a big deal out of nothing.”
“Are you crazy? Why would you want a child?”
“You need to wait. I never wanted to be a mom, and at least you have the freedom to do what you want.”
“Stop worrying about other pregnant people and start worrying about if God will ever bless you with a kid.”
"You would probably get pregnant if you weren't fat."
“Well honey, I’m so fertile all my husband had to do was look at me!”
“You’re young… enjoy time without kids.”
“You’re getting old. Are you barren?”
"You've been pregnant before, so it'll happen again. Just give it time."
"It's just not in God's plan for you now."
“Maybe you're not meant to have children."
"Some women aren't meant to have babies or carry babies.”
“Is it not about time you had a baby? You’re getting on a bit…”
“Its nature’s way!”
“It will happen when you least expect it!”
“I never wanted to have children with you anyway.” (From an ex-husband).
“You must not have been faithful to your husband.”
“You have enough time to have a baby.” ……..This was the feedback across the board, no matter what the age of the woman trying to get pregnant.
‎"You can have my child for a day and you will not want one."
“You can’t get mad at people just because they ask you what the problem is.”
‎"Go on holiday and it will happen."
"Just forget about it."
"You're lucky you don't have any kids, you can do whatever you want!"
‎"Take my kids for a day and you'll change your mind about wanting one!"
" I think that God hasn't blessed you with a child because you don't have him more in your life."
“You must be bad breeding material.”
“You don’t understand because you aren’t a mother yet.”

Several ladies were called by someone trying to help and “give advice.” Only problem was the advice was not solicited! And Alicia herself shared, “I had a girl at work ask me if I wanted to adopt her "unwanted pregnancy baby." I thought she was joking (all in the way she approached me). One week later I was helping clean up her blood in the bathroom because she hemorrhaged a day after her abortion! A moment in my life I will never forget…wish I could.”

I’m sure in many of these situations, people thought they were being funny or helpful but what they said sure cut deep. In hopes of giving people an understanding into the hearts, minds and feelings of someone going through infertility, this information can only help. When you know better, you do better. At the very least, know that how a person deals with infertility may change daily. It can be such a feeling of desperation and despair for a woman or man. To want something so badly but have almost no control over how to get it unless you have the financial means is stressful. This number of people going through infertility is only going to increase in the future. Hope fully this blog will help ease some pain and save some relationships!

In peace-
Gina

Insurance Coverage and Infertility: How Multiple Birth Rates Can Be Affected

2011-04-16T20:25:00.000-07:00

Written By: Gina As some of you may know, we now have an “Infertility Hurts” page on Facebook. Several people have brought up the issue of insurance coverage in regards to infertility treatments and testing. The coverage varies by state and by how each union or organization purchases plans for their employees. Every plan is different and coverage ranges from 0-100%. In my case, I was covered at 50% for infertility testing and 0% for “experimental” testing..which included IVF. This has proven to be yet another issue regarding infertility as many believe if pregnancy does not happen naturally, people should have to pay for what they want. There has also been a lot of media attention on multiple births. According to the research Alicia and I have done that is present on http://www.friendinreach.blogspot.com/, and in our upcoming book, “A Girlfriend’s Guide Through Infertility,” several factors can affect fertility including many environmental factors and common personal and household products people use every day. My infertility issue was labeled “unexplained,” so there was no official medical reason as to why I could not become pregnant on my own. How treatment for this was defined as “experimental” I will never know. Once I found an infertility specialist, she was not covered under my insurance plan. If I wanted to deliver in a hospital with some sort of insurance coverage, I had to find an OBGYN who was affiliated with my hospital of choice so I could get that partial coverage. Since I was over 35 and considered high risk, I was required to also see a Perinatal Specialist as well. He was supposed to be partially covered by my insurance. I received 2 bills from this doctor, one for $67k and one for $32k and I started to hyperventilate! Thank goodness I understood insurance and how to identify each code charged to get the coverage and payments I was entitled to. Many people do not understand what is truly covered by their insurance- especially when dealing with a grey area such as infertility and many times, insurance companies will deny claims even though they are supposed to pay. Once I found an OBGYN to deliver my twins (he was an in-network provider under my plan), I was now covered at 80%. However, this also translated to the hospital I chose and their fees. If I were having a regular delivery without having used an infertility specialist, I would have been covered at 100%. But my doctor was an OBGYN who specialized in high risk births so he was an obvious choice. Since he was covered at 80%, then so was the hospital. I had to pay the rest out of pocket…the 20% left over for my OBGYN fees, 20% of Perinatal Specialist fees and 20% of the hospital and delivery fees. I am discussing this because even after the enormously large costs of IVF, there could still be some hefty fees to pay once you become pregnant. I believe every couple should be aware of these fees prior to starting any fertility treatments so they are prepared if they become pregnant. I found the following article on-line the other day and found it so interesting. A lot of times, people’s issues with IUI and IVF relate to multiple births and parents and doctors accepting responsibility for the large multiple growth rates we are seeing. “Public release date: 5-Apr-2011 Contact: Karen N. Peart karen.peart@yale.edu 203-432-1326 Yale University Fewer multiple births in states with insurance coverage for infertility Faced with the prospect of costly in vitro fertilization (IVF) but with no help from insurance coverage, some infertile couples feel pressure to transfer multiple embryos in an attempt to ensure that the IVF is a success. This can lead to higher rates of twin and triplet births and prematurity. But having insurance coverage could curtail the costs associated with these multiple births, according to a new study by researchers at Yale School of Medicine. Published in the current issue of Fertility and Sterility, the study found that the 15 states, including Connecticut, that provide insurance coverage for infertility saw significantly lower multiple birth rates. The authors say this translates into tremendous savings on the costs of maternal/fetal complications. In 2005, it was estimated that the economic impact of preterm birth was $26.2 billion nationally. IVF is an effective treatment for the reported 7 million women who are infertile, but it is unaffordable for many infertile couples. Since 1998, more states are providing IVF coverage. Connecticut, for instance, covers up to two IVF cycles under state mandate. In this study, Yale researchers analyzed assisted reproductive technology cycle data from 2006 provided by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and the Society for Assisted Reproductive Technology. They categorized that year's 91,753 fresh, non-donor cycles by age group and by whether the cycles were performed in states with or without a mandate for IVF coverage. States with mandates for insurance coverage of infertility treatment not including IVF were characterized as non-mandated states. The study showed that pregnancy rates, live birth rates, twin and triplets are higher in states without mandated insurance for IVF because they transfer significantly more embryos than states with coverage for IVF. In contrast, insurance coverage for IVF is associated with a significant reduction in the incidence of multiple pregnancy, particularly among younger women under the age of 35. When IVF is not covered by insurance, physicians often feel pressure from patients who have financial incentive to maximize the per-cycle success by requesting the transfer of more embryos and willing to take the risk of multiple pregnancies, according to senior author Pasquale Patrizio, M.D., professor and director of the Yale Fertility Center in the Department of Obstetrics, Gynecology & Reproductive Sciences at Yale School of Medicine. "Increasing the number of states that provide coverage for IVF would lead to improved maternal-fetal health and lessen the economic impact that multiple births have on the health system and it would also reduce physician pressure to transfer more embryos," said Patrizio. "It does not make economic sense to see insurance not covering IVF but then pay for the costs associated with maternal and neonatal morbidity." "By reducing the patient's financial burden, state mandates may lead to a reduction in embryos transferred," said first author J. Ryan Martin, M.D., assistant professor at Yale, who sees patients at Yale Fertility Center's new facility in Westport, Conn. "Patients and insurance companies will both benefit from a reduction in multiple pregnancies." Other authors on the study included Jason Bromer, M.D, and Denny Sakkas.” ~Citation: Fertility & Sterility Vol. 95, No. 3 This article makes perfect sense. What are the odds though, of insurance companies deciding to pay for these treatments and procedures? If multiple rates continue to rise, maybe this issue will be addressed. I will admit that my husband and I chose to implant 3 embryos to ensure a successful pregnancy. If our insurance had covered our IVF treatments, I am not so sure that would have been the decision we would have made. Insurance companies can deny fertility claims in a few ways. They label infertility issues as pre-existing conditions (PCOS, non-ovulation, etc), or they state treatments for infertility are considered experimental which protects them from having to pay…but the costs to insurance companies on the back-end with preemie births, additional hospital staff needed at deliveries and ICU stays are hefty and may outweigh what they could potentially be saving. Food for thought. Should they pay or not? Gina

Genetic Testing & Analysis

2011-02-20T14:30:00.000-08:00

Written By: Gina

I am hooked on the show “Who Do You Think You Are?” I started watching from the first episode and have been fascinated by all of the Geneology that has been uncovered for a number of celebrities. I was having a casual conversation with my sister a few months back and found out that she sent a sample of saliva in to 23andMe for analysis.

What is 23 And Me?

“23andMe, Inc. is a leading personal genetics company dedicated to helping individuals understand their own genetic information through DNA analysis technologies and web-based interactive tools. The company's Personal Genome Service™ enables individuals to gain deeper insights into their ancestry and inherited traits. 23andMe, Inc., was founded in 2006, and the company is advised by a group of renowned experts in the fields of human genetics, bioinformatics and computer science." ~23andMe.com

“23andMe is a privately held personal genomics and biotechnology company based in Mountain View, California that claims to be developing new methods and technologies that will enable consumers to understand their own genetic information. The company is named for the 23 pairs of chromosomes in a normal human cell.” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/23andMe

Their marketing includes the following statistics:

“All of us have 23 pairs of chromosomes…

17% of us are left-handed

44% of us have attached earlobes

88% of us have wet earwax

None of us are world-class sprinters

14% of us have perfect pitch

13% of us have Restless Legs Syndrome

All of us can smell the asparagus odor in our urine

22% of us are lactose intolerant

67% of us have a family history of cancer

19% of us have a family history of Alzheimer's Disease

41% of us have a family history of migraines

56% of us have a family history of male pattern baldness

29% of us have a family history of diabetes

17% of us have a family history of Multiple Sclerosis” 23andMe

Interesting right? So what does this site and service have to offer?

“23andMe is a retail DNA testing service providing information and tools for consumers to learn about and explore their DNA.”

All you have to do is order the service online for a fee, register your kit, spit into the tube and send it to the lab. You get the results in 6-8 weeks and receive an email with all of your genetic information. This analysis can identify disease risk factors, screen for carrier status and can predict your body’s response to certain medications. In the area of ancestry, this genetic analysis can identify and trace your ancestral lineage and find and connect you with family members. My sister had her genetic testing but it also proves true for myself and our other sister. It would not carry over to our brother because there is an absence of Y chromosome analysis. For this reason, we also do not get results for our Paternal lineage.

Some of the traits identified for us were:

· We do not have an alcohol flush reaction (we do not)

· We are unlikely to have a bitter taste perception

· Eye color is most likely brown (yes for all 3 of us)

· Slightly curlier hair than average (yes for all 3 of us)

· We are likely lactose intolerant (yes for me for sure!)

· Not Malaria-resistant

Our Disease Risks indicated our highest risk as being a heart attack at 8.9% above the average, although we have decreased odds for Hypertension. Given that my Blood Pressure this week was 114/70, that’s actually more tolerable news in that making good lifestyle and health choices can be the perfect prevention! We also have increased risks above the average for Rheumatoid Arthritis, Lupus, Scleroderma, Narcolepsy and certain Cancers.

We have decreased risk factors for Psoriasis, Macular Degeneration, Colorectal Cancer, Restless Leg Syndrome, Type 1 Diabetes, Melanoma, Glaucoma, Multiple Sclerosis, Colitis, Celiac Disease (go figure since my whole family is Gluten free!), and Crohn’s Disease. Most valuable to all three siblings is the fact that we have decreased markers for Breast Cancer and mammographic breast density…something we have all been concerned about for years. Our Maternal Grandmother passed away at age 54 from it and we have been concerned since our teen years. We also have decreased markers for PCOS- a common complication that can cause infertility but that I never had.

We were not found to be carriers for 24 deficiencies and diseases including Cystic Fibrosis, Mediterranean Fever and Sickle Cell Anemia.

23andMe also breaks down lineage. Our Maternal ancestors most likely originate from Europe, Near East, Central Asia and Northwest Africa. We knew there was a likelihood of African heritage but the Asian connections surprised us! What’s fascinating is that our DNA compares to a Japanese persons at 71.35%, Chinese at 71.27% and Nigerian at 68.89%. Our DNA is most currently like those that live in Southern and Northern Europe respectively.

23andMe has provided a resource for many groups to go to do genetic analysis in helping to make decisions about job well-being and future health. In the article titled, “23andMe Tests NFL Players’ DNA for Athletic Genetic Factors,” researchers investigated a specific list of genes in the players associated with athletic ability and longevity, including grip power, oxygen-carrying capacity and injury risk. For example, mutations in the gene COL1A1 (which is responsible for the manufacture of collagen, the protein that keeps ligaments strong) have been associated with a reduced risk of ACL tears in limited previous research. Knowledge about an individual's COL1A1 type could in the future allow athletes to better understand their risk of knee injury. And the article,“23andMe Launches Free Online Community For Moms and Moms-to-Be,” through the genetic research studies 23andMe plans to conduct, the company hopes to discover the genetic roots of pregnancy complications that could in turn lead to improved preventive care and healthier future pregnancies for women worldwide.~23andMe.com

23andMe also comes with its controversy. Some believe genetic testing is dangerous and misleading because the results and tests should be ordered directly by a physician in response to a particular need for such information. There is also grey area as to whether these genetic tests should be labeled educational or diagnostic (to be used in a diagnosis).

“To act on this data, we first need to understand it. That means the companies must translate the demanding argot of genetics — alleles and phenotypes and centromeres — into something approachable, even simple, for physicians and laypersons alike. It's one thing for a doctor to tell patients that smoking is bad for them, or that their cholesterol count is high. But how are you supposed to react when you're told you have a genetic variation at rs6983267 that's been associated with a 20 percent higher risk of colorectal cancer? And what are physicians, most likely untrained in and unprepared for genomic medicine, to do when a patient comes in wielding a printout that indicates a particular variation of a particular gene?

This new age of genomics comes with great opportunity — but also great quandaries. In the genomic age, we will no longer have the problem of not knowing, but we will face the burden of whether we want to know in the first place. We'll learn what might be best for us in life and then have to reckon with the risk and perhaps the guilt of not acting on that knowledge. We will, counter-intuitively, face even more pressure to conduct our lives carefully, strictly, and cautiously; we'll practice the art of predictive diagnosis and receive a demanding roster of things to avoid, things to do, and treatments to receive — long before there's any physical evidence of disease. And, yes, we will know whether our children are predisposed to certain traits or talents — athletics or music or languages — and encourage them to pursue certain paths. In short, life will become a little more like a game of strategy, where we're always playing the percentages, trying to optimize our outcomes.” http://www.wired.com/medtech/genetics/magazine/15-12/ff_genomics

Some of the 23andMe Top Ten Most Interesting Genetic Findings of 2010:

Genetics influences whether your body shape is “apple” or “pear” — and which shape you are has implications for disease.

Genetic variations newly associated with risk for childhood asthma

New Variants Influence Risk for Rheumatoid Arthritis

Understanding Alzheimer’s disease

Baby’s First Tooth May Be A Health Predictor

A Fresh Look at Latino Genetic Ancestry

23andMe is also present on Facebook, where several people have said that the information on genetic issues they were not even aware of has saved their lives. But some great points have been brought up, such as the one from a blogger on Oprah.com who said, “This test is a great idea except for one thing - Insurance companies. They can probably use this test to deny you coverage. It's even possible that they could one day require you take such a test before providing health insurance coverage, instead of the physical exams some insurance companies require.” http://www.oprah.com/community/thread/93254. Good point…insurance companies already refute a lot of illness due to “pre-existing conditions,” and we certainly do not want to give them more reasons to deny coverage. I have also read on several sites that the true cost of this service is not clear…some people pay in excess of $1,000 as opposed to the $199 they advertise on the site.

As in most things, this should be a personal decision. I am glad to have these genetic results mostly for the Breast Cancer information but also to know which lifestyle choices to make so I am here for a long time for my children. That, and I find all of this information fascinating! I just pray that this new-found availability is not used to refuse health care and best treatment options by insurance companies for those in need, and that this information is used to do good and not harm.

In Health~

Gina

Bullying

2010-11-16T19:17:00.000-08:00

Written By: Gina

It starts earlier than I thought. For months, I have been hearing that my daughter doesn’t want to be in the “red” group at school. I’ve asked everything: “Do you like the kids in the group?” “Yes.” “Do you like the teacher in the group?” “Yes.” “Do you like the work you do in the group?” “Yes.” Her twin brother would always agree with her and ask me to just switch her to another group. Any of you who have read my blogs or who know me know I am not switching anything- we must face whatever this is head on!

At first I thought the kids just wanted to be in the same group together but this has been going on since they started groups in September. So I kept digging and asking questions periodically. But then last Friday, I picked up the kids from school expecting them to be on cloud 9. Their dad went to their preschool in his Fire Truck with all the other Firefighters from his station and I figured the kids would be so excited. When I picked them up though, I knew instantly something was wrong. They were both sad and not smiling….a look I have never seen on their faces.

As soon as we left the classroom, I asked them what was wrong. They kept saying “nothing,” but there was no way I was buying it! Call it mother’s intuition- whatever, I just knew something wasn’t right. All through the day I pushed and the kids denied having anything wrong, but before bed, my son started telling his sister, “Tell her Lexi. Tell her what’s wrong,” but she wouldn’t budge. I figured if I let them sleep on whatever the problem was, it would come out in the morning.

When the kids woke up, I noticed my son’s fingers were raw. He has always had a nervous tendency to rub his thumbs when he gets stressed out and we know to watch for this. This was the worst I had seen his fingers. I asked again what was wrong with them when I picked them up and it all came spilling out- they are being bullied at school. They admitted to me that one of the boys tells them, “No one likes you,” and “So and so is not your friend.” He tells them to get away from him and the other kids because no one wants to play with them and cuts them off when they are standing in line…especially when Lexi is in line in the red group. It all made sense.

We have heard so much in the news lately about bullying and what it can lead to.

About Phoebe Prince

Phoebe Prince was a 15-year-old Irish immigrant and student in South Hadley who killed herself after relentless bullying.

In the time since her death, Massachusetts lawmakers unanimously passed a bill that seeks to curtail bullying in schools and in cyberspace. Nine teens are facing charges in connection with her death. http://www.boston.com/community/moms/news/bullying/

And...

Tragic suicide: University student Tyler Clementi threw himself off a bridge after being 'outed' on the internet http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1323790/Tough-New-Jersey-anti-bullying-law-spate-gay-teenage-suicides.html

Bullying Is a Big Problem

Every day thousands of teens wake up afraid to go to school. Bullying is a problem that affects millions of students, and it has everyone worried, not just the kids on its receiving end. Yet because parents, teachers, and other adults don't always see it, they may not understand how extreme bullying can get.

Some bullies attack their targets physically, which can mean anything from shoving or tripping to punching or hitting, or even sexual assault. Others use psychological control or verbal insults to put themselves in charge. For example, people in popular groups or cliques often bully people they categorize as different by excluding them or gossiping about them (psychological bullying). They may also taunt or tease their targets (verbal bullying). Verbal bullying can also involve sending cruel instant or email messages or even posting insults about a person on a website — practices that are known as cyberbullying. www.Kidshealth,org

What Is Bullying?

Bullying is abusive behavior by one or more students against a victim or victims. It can be a direct attack -- teasing, taunting, threatening, stalking, name-calling, hitting, making threats, coercion, and stealing -- or more subtle through malicious gossiping, spreading rumors, and intentional exclusion. Both result in victims becoming socially rejected and isolated.

Boys tend to use physical intimidation or threats, regardless of the gender of their victims. Bullying by girls is more often verbal, usually with another girl as the target. Cyber-bullying by both boys and girls -- in online chat rooms, e-mail, and text-messaging -- is increasing.

Whether the bullying is direct or indirect, the key component of bullying is physical or psychological intimidation that occurs repeatedly over time to create an ongoing pattern of harassment and abuse. http://www.focusas.com/Bullying.html

Why Do Kids Bully?

There is no one single cause of bullying among children; individual, family, peer, school, and community factors can place a child or you that risk for bullying. These factors work individually, or collectively, to contribute to a child's likelihood of bullying.

· Family risk factors for bullying:

· A lack of warmth and involvement on the part of parents.

· Overly-permissive parenting (including a lack of limits for children’s behavior).

· A lack of supervision by parents.

· Harsh, physical discipline.

· Parent modeling of bullying behavior.

· Victimization by older brothers.

· Peer risk factors for bullying:

· Friends who bully.

· Friends who have positive attitudes about violence.

· Some aggressive children who take on high status roles may use bullying as a way to enhance their social power and protect their prestige with peers.

· Some children with low social status may use bullying as a way to deflect taunting and aggression that is directed towards them, or to enhance their social position with higher status peers.

· Other Factors:

· Bullying thrives in schools where faculty and staff do not address bullying, where there is no policy against bullying, and where there is little supervision of students—especially during lunch, bathroom breaks, and recess.

· Models of bullying behavior are prevalent throughout society, especially in television, movies, and video games.

· When children are aggregated together, they associate with others who are similar to them or who have qualities or characteristics that in some way support their own behaviors.

· For teenage girls, social aggression can be a way of creating excitement or alleviating boredom. It is also used as a method of gaining attention from other girls in order to secure friendships.http://www.education.com/reference/article/why-do-kids-bully/

There are many reasons why kids bully.

Did you know that bullying behavior is often a cry for help?

· According to Frank Peretti, there are two basic reasons why kids bully. One reason a child bullies is because he (or she) "has a deep troubling need of his own" and is picked on or feels that he does not have a very successful life. Bullies may be experiencing trouble at home, be underachievers in school, and for whatever reason they feel they have to make themselves better by picking on someone else. On the outside bullies may look fine, but they may be very lonely or may deliberately try to hurt themselves or have trouble eating or sleeping.

· Another reason kids bully is that they may fall into a trap by thinking that bullying is just "the cool thing to do," especially in front of their friends. Sometimes bullies are those kids who are good students, athletes, or the kids who seem to have everything going for them. In Time Magazine, it was reported that even though bullies often will have high self-esteem, they "tend to be victims of physical damage as well." Most bullies live in families in which parents discipline them "inconsistently or through physical means."

· Unfortunately, there are people who reward others who bully. The bullies are made to feel that they are "fitting in" with the others, or are "being cool" when they are acting like a bully. Mostly these kids do not feel very good about themselves, and bullying takes away that feeling. "Too often a bully's behavior is encouraged and not stopped. Some bullies become popular ringleaders with other kids, but not all bullies are the cool kids. Some are troubled students who may have been bullied themselves."

· Another reason why kids bully others is that adults don't give kids the skills they need to be able to tolerate and appreciate the differences of others. When the bully sees other people who are different, they lash out and make fun of them. Many feel that bullies engage in this behavior because it makes them feel important. They learn that being physically aggressive is a way to get what they want, and a way to control people.

· Bullies also tend to continue their behavior throughout their lives. Their bullying actions become a cycle, in that bullies have children that they bully, and then their children become aggressive, and then they bully others too. http://library.thinkquest.org/07aug/00117/whybully.html

Bystanders also play a role in bullying:

Just as in our social reaction to other forms of abuse, we have all tried to get the victims of bullying to act differently to solve the problem. We have trained victims to:

· be assertive

· blend in

· ignore bullying

· pretend they're not bothered by bullying ("Sticks and stones?")

The problem with these approaches used in isolation, no matter how good our intentions in using them, is that they displace responsibility for stopping bullying from us to the victims. If these approaches do not work (and I believe they rarely do), the victim is left with a sense of failure. These interventions can, I believe, be effective only if they are part of a comprehensive intervention. http://stopbullyingnow.com/what.html

How To Deal With Bullying?

· Know the school policies that protect students from harassment, bullying, and physical violence. All students have the right to a safe and secure learning environment. Get copies of these policies and procedures.

· Seek help from your child's teacher, the school guidance counselor, and school administrators -- and hold them accountable for following school policy. Most bullying occurs on playgrounds, in lunchrooms, and bathrooms, on school buses or in unsupervised halls. Ask the school administrators to find out about programs other schools and communities have used to help combat bullying, such as peer mediation, conflict resolution, anger management training, and increased adult supervision.

· Notify the police if your child is assaulted. Get a restraining order so that the bully is required by law to have no contact with your child.

· If school officials and the police do not follow policy or laws, take legal action. http://www.focusas.com/Bullying.html

In the case of my children, I immediately felt that the best way to handle this situation was to role play and instill the confidence in them to address the words they were hearing. In my mind, if they were to ignore the bullying, it would go on forever and appear they were uncomfortable standing up to such aggression…I have seen it happen. I figured if they learned how to or were comfortable speaking out and sticking up for themselves, there would no longer be a challenge for the bully. In this instance, it seems the bullying has stopped almost immediately (thanks in no small part to the preschool teachers who addressed it right away). My kids were instantly relieved that mom knew what to do and how to help. They now actually have a very casual and almost dismissive attitude towards the situation, as if me knowing about it and telling them it’s OK to say “knock it off” gives them the green light to say what they were feeling out loud (which incidentally, Lexi did on her next day back to school!). But in the future, I feel it is integral to teach our kids how to address bullying by role play and by instilling the confidence in them to stand up for anyone being bullied- especially as a bystander! Bystanders can diffuse a situation like this in an instant because otherwise, a bully has an audience and feels empowered being “on top” or “in control.” But if we teach our kids that there is more power in unity and numbers and that walking away as a group makes a louder statement than anything a bully is saying or doing, we could change the world!

In peace~

Gina

How I Helped My Daughter Recover from Selective Mutism

2010-10-20T10:57:00.000-07:00

Written by: Alicia

Over one year ago I wrote an article titled “Selective Mutism and/or Autism?” I never knew how popular this blog post would become; it is now one of our most viewed posts. I am surprised because when I wrote it I didn’t think anyone would be interested in hearing about it. It was more of a release for me. To get the amount of hits we get has been a real eye opener. You hear a lot about Autism but you never hear about Selective Mutism (SM) until your doctor diagnoses your child with it. For those that do not know what SM is, it means having extremely high (if not crippling) social anxiety.

There is not a lot of information on the internet about SM. All of us parents are forced to search high and low on the web in order to gain more knowledge on how to help our children. Perhaps that is why I get so many visitors to our site on this subject matter. The majority of our readers are from the United States but we also have people visiting to read and learn about SM from the United Kingdom, Philippines, Netherlands, Italy, Australia, Canada and even Libyan Arab Jamahiriya (to name a few).

As some of our loyal readers know, my daughter was first diagnosed with Autism in May 2008. I had a hard time accepting that diagnoses and took her to see two separate psychologists to reevaluate her. They both arrived to the Autism diagnoses in less than one hour of knowing her. I made changes in her life and in May of 2009 she was easily undiagnosed with Autism. However, that same day the doctors said she was a Selective Mute. It was a huge day of celebration but I woke up the next day and started researching SM. I wanted to learn how I could cure her of this as well.

Doctors said I could not cure my daughter of Autism. The doctors were 100% confident that trying the gluten-free / casein-free diet for my daughter would not help at all. They said “It is not proven to help. Your best route is ABA therapy.” They were wrong! I have a tremendous amount of respect for doctors but those doctors were very, very wrong and thank God I did not listen to them. The diet change gave me my daughter back! I was certain I could figure out a way to now help her recover from SM.

Unfortunately, trying to find treatment options for SM is nearly impossible. The best advice I received to date was from a doctor who contacted me after reading my first blog post on this subject. Her name is Shannon Morgan-Gillard, Psy.D. and she runs The Brave Center for Selective Mutism in St. Louis. She suggested Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). I have followed her advice on CBT since.

It has been a year and a half since the doctors said she was a Selective Mute and I now have some exciting news! I can honestly say, and not just wish, that my daughter has recovered from SM. I am not sure if I can say she is cured for life because most kids are not diagnosed as young as she was. Most kids are diagnosed once they enter Kindergarten or later in school years. All I know for sure is my daughter is a few months away from turning five and she no longer has the characteristics of a selective mute.

She is in pre-school with her triplet siblings and she interacts well with her classmates, she talks out loud to the teachers and she is the first child of mine to enter the room and not look back at me everyday I drop her off at school. She gives her teacher a hug and kiss goodbye everyday. She participates in a soccer class and plays without any hesitation, she is the first to say “Hi” when we walk past a person on the bike trail, she will now easily say “Hello” to store clerks while looking them in the eye and she will befriend a new doctor in seconds. She still has shy moments but no more than her siblings do.

It is hard to think back to when she was literally crippled in a classroom setting. She would not speak at all (it was a good day if she whispered to a teacher); she would look at the floor as she walked because she did not want to give anyone eye contact; she would be too embarrassed to go to the bathroom at school; she was extremely moody after school due to all of the built-up anxiety she experienced during the day. It also appeared as if she was stimming in high anxiety situations because she would stare at her fingers and watch them move as if she was slowing squeezing a soft ball in her hands. She would also hide behind furniture when relatives or close friends would stop over at our house.

I don’t think I will ever be able to say what it was exactly that helped her to recover. Maybe it was one thing or maybe it was a multitude of changes I have made in her life. Either way, I would like to explain the changes and maybe her story could help another child. Any parent of a Selective Mute knows finding treatment options on SM are far and few between so here are the changes/life modifications that helped my daughter:

1. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: I took Dr. Morgan-Gillard’s advice on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). I focused on my daughter’s anxiety; not on her shyness. I always try to build her self-esteem and make sure I compliment her in excessive amounts when she is social in any way. I make sure I give her huge compliments when we are alone so she is not embarrassed. For instance, after she says “Hi” to a stranger I don’t compliment her in front of the stranger. I wait until we are in the car and tell her how proud I am of her. It seems so simple but she just lights up when I compliment her. My goal is to teach her how to be proud of herself.

2. Pre-school: Having her in pre-school as helped tremendously. She is now in her second year of pre-school and she has adjusted as you would hope a typical child would.

3. Gluten-free / casein-free diet: I originally put her on this diet because of the Autism diagnoses. It cured her of that so she will always remain on the diet but I also feel it is helping her social anxiety as well. Immediately after starting the diet she began interacting with her siblings again. For me there is a definite connection between the diet change and her improved social skills. I feel so confident about this because it was almost an overnight change. I would suggest trying this diet for 6 months or more to see if your child can benefit as mine has.

As I mentioned, I am not sure what the main action was that helped to recover my daughter. All I know for sure is that she no longer falls under Autism or Selective Mutism. It is nice to look at her and see the child I always knew was in there somewhere; she just got lost sometimes but not anymore. In some ways she is even more social than her triplet siblings. As a matter of fact, I often wonder if being a triplet has helped her overcome her anxiety too. She is in constant contact with kids her own age and they play together all day. I keep them all in the same pre-school classroom so they can be supportive and encouraging to each other and I think that has made a huge impact as well.

As with Autism, I know there is not one sure cure to help every child. For instance, I wish the GF/CF diet helped all Autistic children but I know it does not. However, as I always say the diet change is something worth trying. I would try the diet change before you jump right into medications. I am also a strong believer in CBT as well. You can never give too many compliments to a child with SM. So compliment away!

Take care,
Alicia

Gluten Free Pets

2010-10-01T14:46:00.000-07:00

Written By: Gina

There has been a steady stream of attention recently regarding following a Gluten Free Lifestyle. A recent today show article talked about the gluten free cake served at Chelsea Clinton’s wedding. If this was a major discussion point about the wedding of a former first daughter, this must be big news! As many of you know, my kids have been following a gluten free diet since they started on solid foods and I started a couple of years ago. When I am regimented, I feel better. I am less bloated, cranky and have a lot more energy. I also tend to avoid sugar when I eat gluten free products as I do not crave them like I do when I eat poorly.

What is Gluten Free?

Gluten, a protein found in grains such as wheat, rye and barley, wreaks havoc in people with celiac disease, triggering an immune reaction that damages the small intestine and prevents absorption of nutrients.

According to statistics from the University of Chicago Celiac Disease Center, an average of one out of every 133 otherwise healthy people in the United States suffers from celiac disease (CD), but previous studies have found that this number may be as high as 1 in 33 in at-risk populations.

Despite its rapidly increasing prevalence, the disease is still commonly misdiagnosed or missed altogether; it still takes an average of four years to reach a diagnosis, and that’s if you’re symptomatic.

This delay in proper diagnosis can dramatically increase your risk of developing other diseases such as autoimmune disorders, neurological problems, osteoporosis, and even cancer.

Most People are Better Off Avoiding Gluten -- Even Without Celiac Disease

Large numbers of people, perhaps even the majority of the population, are adversely affected by gluten on some level, and most of them do not have full-blown celiac disease, just a lesser form of gluten intolerance.

Grains and sugars are inherently pro-inflammatory and will worsen any condition that has chronic inflammation at its root -- and not just inflammation in your gut, but anywhere in your body.

Those with celiac disease know the importance of eliminating grains from their diet, as many cannot tolerate even minute amounts of gluten, but this message has still to take root in the collective mind when it comes to dealing with autoimmune diseases and other inflammatory conditions.

In fact, if you want to avoid heart disease, high cholesterol, type 2 diabetes or even cancer, you will want to severely limit your grain consumption, or avoid grains entirely.

In my experience about 75-80 percent of ALL people benefit from avoiding grains, even whole sprouted grains, whether you have celiac disease, gluten intolerance or neither of those conditions. http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2010/09/03/media-finally-starts-to-catch-on-to-gluten-free.aspx

So if Gluten affects people in this way, what about animals? Especially one who weighs 4 pounds?

Here’s where I learned something new. We have a new Pug puppy named Milo. Unfortunately, we lost our 14 ½ year old Pug Vinnie last month and I just couldn’t bear to not have another Pug roaming around the house. As we were caring for Vinnie during his final weeks, we kept hearing over and over again from Veterinary staff and doctors, “Your Pug is 14 ½? That’s unheard of!” Usually Pugs do not live to be 14 ½ because they have a lot of special needs regarding their noses, ears and hips. We knew we took really good care of our dog but we took things one step further. Once I had become educated about how to eat in a truly healthy way by Dr. Cart and his wife Bettye, I could not possibly give toxic food or products to my dog anymore than I could to myself or my kids. But a whole new world has opened up to me now having a new puppy.

Vinnie was easy. He started out eating Iams dog food…which is good. But once I learned how to read labels, organic food it was. Vinnie started to act like a young puppy again! It really was amazing….he had more energy and was still able to jump up to greet us- at 13! We also spaced out his shots. We found that just like our doctor, our Veterinarian was willing to work with us so as not to compromise the dog’s Immune System. With Vinnie being so old, we knew that a vaccination or being placed under anesthesia for a teeth cleaning could be detrimental.

Now there’s Milo. I had not been to a pet store in quite a while. You can imagine my surprise when I walked in and saw aisles and aisles of product! It was like being at a pet grocery store! I started by searching for “natural” and “organic” foods which turned out to be not really natural or organic. No surprise- I encounter the same thing when purchasing my food. I read labels and found a lot of the same junk used to preserve people food is used to preserve pet food. I did find food with a USDA Organic seal and was fortunate as well in finding dog treats. Both the food and treats are without wheat, soy, meat by-products, corn, dairy or artificial colors or flavors- Gluten Free! I am so excited by this I cannot even tell you. I feel like I am doing right by my pet. We feel our Pug is a part of our family..we do not see him as “just a dog.” My point of this blog is that 10 years ago, I would probably have never found a thing that was all natural or Gluten free, or if I did it would have been pretty difficult as such products would not have been in high demand nor have been store top sellers.

Now I needed dog shampoo. There is an “organic” section marked in the pet store and I was not surprised to find that when I read the ingredients, I sincerely wanted to scream! It’s the same thing I deal with when trying to find shampoo for my kids. Parabens. Sulfates. Fragrance. And all of them say not to use on a dog under the age of 12 weeks. So I stood wondering why something that is labeled “safe, natural and organic” cannot be used on a puppy under the age of 12 weeks? Interesting right? I followed the Gluten Free rule of thumb. If you can pronounce and it and you would eat it, it’s probably OK!

Then the puppy started to itch. We took him to the Vet and found that this is called puppy “hot spots.” So back to the pet store I went in search of a healthy oil or topical gel to give the poor dog so he can be comfortable. I found that almost every topical ointment, foam or gel for dry, itchy skin, contains alcohol. Alcohol dries out the skin. Wouldn’t this product make the problem worse? It took me almost 30 minutes of reading labels to find a product that had ingredients I could read and understand, but I did find something. And again, five years ago, I would not have known better and would have probably given the dog steroids or used one of the topical ointments that contained standard toxins. And I certainly would not have read the labels to find out that the product was not safe for puppies under 12 weeks of age.

The skin is the body’s largest organ…this means for animals too. I have also learned that many Rescue organizations and farms follow a Gluten free diet for their pets. In good conscience I cannot give my puppy anything that would hurt him. I know better so I have to do better.

Gina

Shopping With Triplets Made Easy

2010-09-09T07:57:00.000-07:00

Written by: Alicia

“Put it on your list” is now a common saying around my house. If you are a Mom or Dad to young kids then you need to adopt this saying too. It has saved me from numerous melt-downs in department stores and even toy stores.

This is how my saying came about. One day I was checking out of a department store with triplets in tow. Next to the cashier is the unavoidable clutter of junk; candy, toys and lighters. Of course my kids wanted it all. They were grabbing everything and crying when I said, “No. Not today.” It turned into a huge scene and actually very embarrassing for me.

I knew I had to come up with something or else I would never be able to take my kids shopping with me. It was one month before Christmas and I decided to hang three “Wish Lists” on the fridge. I told the kids we would write down everything they want for Christmas and then send the lists to Santa.

One week later I was ready to try to take them shopping with me again. This is what I told them before we entered the store, “Kids. We are going to shop today for certain items I need to buy. We are not shopping for toys today. I repeat we are not shopping for toys today. If you see anything you want then you need to tell me and I will add that to your list. You are not allowed to touch or pick up anything. Just point and say, ‘I want that on my list Mommy.’”

The kids agreed and we walked into the store. It was the most pleasant store outing I had experienced in months. The kids just looked at everything around them, pointed at certain items they wanted and said, “Mommy, I want that on my list.” Not one of them picked anything up. Not one of them cried. It actually turned into a fun game.

When we got home, I wrote down the items they wanted onto their lists and that was that. I promise you it was that simple. My triplets had just turned four so I am not sure this will work with older kids but it seems to work well with four year olds. I have been keeping a list (mostly a mental list by now) on everything they ask for when we are in a store. It has been ten months now, since I implemented this great idea and it still works! No fussiness….ever.

Every now and then I will surprise them and get them something on their list in order to keep this idea alive. They get so excited about it. I tell them I will buy items from time to time but the remaining items will be sent to Santa at the end of the year. I say, “Santa will decide what items on your list to get for you. He can’t get them all but he will try to give you your favorites.” They are so content with this. I can’t believe it.

Their lists are pretty darn long and I don’t know how much longer they will buy this but for now it makes a shopping trip pleasant. It makes heading towards the junk aisle less stressful. Who knew five little words would make shopping with four-year-old triplets so easy. “Put it on your list” works in Toy R Us too! Give it a try.

Happy Shopping,
Alicia

Most Common Over The Counter Drugs And Their Side Effects

2010-08-21T16:00:00.000-07:00

Written by: Gina

I was reading a Dr. Mercola article about the new flu vaccination for Fall 2010 where it was explained that the traditional annual flu vaccination will be combined with the H1N1 Swine Flu vaccination into one shot. This vaccination is going to be pushed hard which does not surprise me since so much money was lost by pharmaceutical companies over the last 2 years for the annual and Swine Flu shots separately. More people are becoming educated on the lies and obvious media support of these vaccinations. But one thing stood out that I think people should pay attention to. The most commonly reported side effects of the Swine Flu shot (although not shared by the media to the public) were Guillian-Barre Syndrome (GBS) and Bells Palsy. http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2010/08/21/barbara-loe-fisher-on-flu-vaccine-changes.aspx

That got me to thinking about the top over-the-counter drugs that the people purchase and their side effects. In just reading about the top 5 medications sold across the US, I found the information shocking and I wonder if people actually read the back labels of their prescription bottles. I was once told to give my daughter steroids for Alopecia (which she never actually had incidentally) and when I read the back of the bottle, written in bold black letters was the caution: “Do not give to children under the age of 16; may cause Renal (Kidney) Failure, severe Immune problems and death. Good thing I read that label!

One of the most commonly used medications in the US are called statins. Statins are HMG-CoA reductase inhibitors, that is, they act by blocking the enzyme in your liver that is responsible for making cholestorol (HMG-CoA reductase). Commonly sold Statins available on the US market are Advicor, Altoprev, Caduet, Crestor, Lescol, Lipitor, Medvacor, Pravachol. Simcor, Vytorin and Zocor. Reported side effects include:

· Muscle problems, polyneuropathy (nerve damage in the hands and feet), and rhabdomyolysis (a serious degenerative muscle tissue condition)

· Anemia

· Acidosis

· Sexual dysfunction

· Immune depression

· Pancreas or liver dysfunction, including a potential increase in liver enzymes

· Cataracts

Muscle problems are the best known of statin drugs' adverse side effects, but cognitive problems and memory loss are also widely reported. A spectrum of other problems, ranging from blood glucose elevations to tendon problems, can also occur. There is evidence that taking statins may even increase your risk for Lou Gehrig's disease. http://www.soulwork.net/sw_articles_eng/medication.htm.

The most commonly sold over-the-counter drugs and their side effects (To note, most of these medications are deemed Pregnancy Category B by the FDA which means Animal reproduction studies have failed to demonstrate a risk to the fetus and there are no adequate and well-controlled studies in pregnant women OR Animal studies have shown an adverse effect, but adequate and well-controlled studies in pregnant women have failed to demonstrate a risk to the fetus in any trimester):

Lipitor (used to treat high cholesterol- a statin)

· If you have the following conditions, you may need to adjust your Lipitor dose or have special tests: history of liver or kidney disease; diabetes; a thyroid disorder; or if you drink more than 2 alcoholic beverages daily. (What are these special tests and why would someone need them? I would be asking a lot of questions before using this!).

· In rare cases, Lipitor can cause a condition that results in the breakdown of skeletal muscle tissue, leading to kidney failure. This condition may be more likely to occur in older adults and in people who have kidney disease or poorly controlled hypothyroidism (underactive thyroid).

Tell your doctor about all other medications you use. Certain other drugs can increase your risk of serious muscle problems.

FDA pregnancy category X. Lipitor can harm an unborn baby or cause birth defects.

Nexium (decreases the amount of acid in the stomach)

You should not take Nexium if you are allergic to esomeprazole or to any other benzimidazole medication such as albendazole (Albenza), or mebendazole (Vermox).

If you have severe liver disease you may need an Nexium dose adjustment or special tests.

Nexium is not for immediate relief of heartburn symptoms.

Taking a proton pump inhibitor such as Nexium may increase your risk of bone fracture in the hip, wrist, or spine. This effect has occurred mostly in people who have taken the medication long term or at high doses, and in those who are age 50 and older. It is not clear whether Nexium is the actual cause of an increased risk of fracture. Before you take this medication, tell your doctor if you have osteoporosis or osteopenia (low bone mineral density).

FDA pregnancy category B. Nexium is not expected to harm an unborn baby. (Not expected…?)

Plavix (prevents blood clotting)

Plavix keeps your blood from coagulating (clotting) to prevent unwanted blood clots that can occur with certain heart or blood vessel conditions. Because of this drug action, Plavix can make it easier for you to bleed, even from a minor injury. Contact your doctor or seek emergency medical attention if you have bleeding that will not stop.

You may also have bleeding on the inside of your body, such as in your stomach or intestines. Call your doctor at once if you have black or bloody stools, or if you cough up blood or vomit that looks like coffee grounds. These could be signs of bleeding in your digestive tract.

Avoid drinking alcohol. It may increase your risk of bleeding in your stomach or intestines.

If you need surgery or dental work, tell the surgeon or dentist ahead of time that you are using Plavix.

While you are taking Plavix, do not take aspirin or other NSAIDs (non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs) without your doctor's advice. NSAIDs include ibuprofen (Motrin, Advil), diclofenac (Cataflam, Voltaren), etodolac (Lodine), indomethacin (Indocin), meloxicam (Mobic), nabumetone (Relafen), naproxen (Aleve, Naprosyn), piroxicam (Feldene), and others.

If you have any of these other conditions, you may need a dose adjustment or special tests: a bleeding or blood clotting disorder, such as TTP (thrombocytopenic purpura) or hemophilia; a history of stroke, including TIA ("mini-stroke"); a stomach ulcer or ulcerative colitis; or kidney disease.

FDA pregnancy category B. Plavix is not expected to be harmful to an unborn baby.

Advair (to prevent asthma attacks)

Some medical conditions may interact with Advair Diskus Powder. Tell your doctor or pharmacist if you have any medical conditions, especially if any of the following apply to you:

if you are pregnant, planning to become pregnant, or are breast-feeding

· if you are taking any prescription or nonprescription medicine, herbal preparation, or dietary supplement

· if you have allergies to medicines, foods, or other substances

· if you are taking a monoamine oxidase inhibitor (MAOI) (eg, phenelzine) or tricyclic antidepressant (eg, amitriptyline), or if you have taken either of these medicines within the last 14 days

· if you have high blood acid levels (eg, ketoacidosis) or a history of diabetes, glaucoma, or increased pressure in the eye, heart problems (eg, fast or irregular heartbeat, heart blood vessel problems), high blood pressure, nervous system problems, liver problems, low blood potassium levels, seizures, thyroid problems, or an adrenal gland tumor

· if you are having a COPD flare-up, have recently been to an emergency room for asthma, have a history of frequent hospitalizations for asthma, or have ever had a life-threatening asthma attack

· if you have a fungal, bacterial, or parasitic infection; a viral infection (eg, measles, chickenpox, shingles); herpes virus infection of the eye; tuberculosis (TB); a history of a positive TB skin test; or immune system problems; or if you have had a recent vaccination

· if you have weak bones (osteoporosis) or have risk factors for osteoporosis (eg, a family history of osteoporosis, tobacco use, long-term use of corticosteroids or certain seizure medicines, limited physical exercise, poor nutrition)

Seroquel (antipsychotic medication)

Seroquel is not for use in psychotic conditions related to dementia. Seroquel may cause heart failure, sudden death, or pneumonia in older adults with dementia-related conditions. Stop using Seroquel and call your doctor at once if you have the following symptoms: very stiff (rigid) muscles, high fever, sweating, confusion, fast or uneven heartbeats, tremors, uncontrolled muscle movements, feeling light-headed, blurred vision, eye pain, increased thirst and urination, excessive hunger, fruity breath odor, weakness, nausea and vomiting.

You may have thoughts about suicide when you first start taking an antidepressant, especially if you are younger than 24 years old. Your doctor will need to check you at regular visits for at least the first 12 weeks of treatment.

Call your doctor at once if you have any new or worsening symptoms such as: mood or behavior changes, anxiety, panic attacks, trouble sleeping, or if you feel impulsive, irritable, agitated, hostile, aggressive, restless, hyperactive (mentally or physically), more depressed, or have thoughts about suicide or hurting yourself.

If you have any of these other conditions, you may need a dose adjustment or special tests to safely take Seroquel: liver or kidney disease; heart disease, high blood pressure, heart rhythm problems; a history of heart attack or stroke; a history of low white blood cell (WBC) counts; a thyroid disorder; seizures or epilepsy; cataracts; high cholesterol or triglycerides; a personal or family history of diabetes; or trouble swallowing.

Your family or other caregivers should also be alert to changes in your mood or symptoms. Your doctor will need to check you at regular visits for at least the first 12 weeks of treatment.

FDA pregnancy category C. It is not known whether Seroquel will harm an unborn baby. Do not give Seroquel to a child without a doctor's advice. Extended-release quetiapine (Seroquel XR) is for use only in adults and should not be given to anyone younger than 18 years old. http://www.drugs.com/top200.html

And even more information about medication side effects:

· Antihistamines (Benadryl, Chlorpheniramine, Hydroxyzine) are primarily used for allergies. The most common side effect is sedation ranging from mild drowsiness to severe depression. A dry mouth may also occur. In some pets, excitability, including muscle tremors, may be seen.

· Bronchodilators (Theophylline, Aminophylline) are used in certain respiratory conditions. Common side effects include mild excitement, insomnia, vomiting, diarrhea, increased thirst, and increased urination.

· Clavamox (Amoxicillin-clavulanic acid) and Cephalexin are antibiotics used to treat many types of infections. Side effects include vomiting, diarrhea, and decreased appetite. Giving the antibiotic with a meal may help reduce these signs. Rarely, hypersensitivity reactions occur causing rashes, fever, blood cell disorders, or anaphylactic shock (severe allergic reaction).

· Corticosteroids (Prednisone, Dexamethasone, Triamcinalone, Depo-medrol, Temaril-P) are potent anti-inflammatory drugs used in a variety of medical conditions, including controlling allergies. Steroids have many common side effects and should be used only as directed by a veterinarian. Side effects include increased thirst, increased urination (animals with weak bladder control may develop incontinence), weight gain, excessive panting, loss of appetite, vomiting or diarrhea. In high doses, steroids may cause immune suppression or gastric ulcers. Long term use of steroids, even at low doses, may cause adrenal gland disease, liver disease, and an increased risk of diabetes. Annual blood tests are recommended for long term use.

· Metronidazole is an antibiotic that is used in certain intestinal or systemic infections. Side effects include lethargy, decreased appetite, and vomiting. Neurological symptoms such as stumbling, falling or balance problems may occur, especially in high doses or with long term use.

· Non-Steroidal Anti-Inflammatory Drugs (Rimadyl, Etogesic, Deramaxx, Zubrin, Meloxicam) NSAIDs are commonly used in the treatment of pain and inflammation. The primary side effect is gastrointestinal upset or ulcers (vomiting, diarrhea, loss of appetite, dark tarry stools). Rarely, liver dysfunction/damage may occur. NSAIDs should not be used in cats except under veterinary supervision. Do not use NSAIDs with other anti- inflammatory drugs, including aspirin or aspirin containing products. Over the counter human medications should not be used except as directed by a veterinarian. A blood test checking liver enzymes should be done prior to long term use, and then annually. A follow-up blood test is recommended three weeks after starting on the medication.

· Phenobarbital is an anticonvulsant medication used primarily to treat seizures. Common side effects include sedation, ranging from drowsiness to depression, stumbling when walking, anxiety, increased thirst, appetite and urination. Side effects generally decrease after a few weeks as the pet's system adapts to the medication. If side effects seem severe, please let us know. Liver dysfunction/damage may occur and rarely, blood cell disorders may be seen. An annual drug level and blood test is needed 10-12 hours post pill.

· Sulfa-Trimethoprim (Tribrissen) is an antibiotic. Side effects include decreased tear production (dry eye), allergic reactions (facial swelling, hives), joint swelling, vomiting, diarrhea, fever, increased thirst and increased urination. Rarely, liver dysfunction or red blood cell disorders may occur.

· Thyroxine (Soloxine) is a thyroid hormone used in treating hypothyroidism. Side effects include increased heart rate, increased appetite, increased thirst and urination, excitability and excessive panting. An adjustment in dose may be needed to eliminate these side effects. An annual T4 blood level is needed 4-6 hours post pill. commondrugsideeffects.doc REV: 12/29/03 http://roadrunnerah.com/docs/drug_side_effects.pdf

According to medications.com, there have been over 1,130 to 4,799 complaints from people about side effects from medications such as Yasmin, Mirena, Singulair, Levaquin, Lisinoprol, Nuvaring, Prednisone, Lipitor, and Advair HFA. So I guess the gist of what I am saying is read the labels and question the medications being prescribed to you and your family. Are the side effects more dangerous than the problem you are having? For instance, would you rather have an upset stomach or hip fracture?

My opinion about medications is similar to how I feel about vaccinations. At one time, they were for the greater good and were created to prevent or stop major illnesses and outbreaks. Now they are forced upon us to cover pharmaceutical and doctor payroll’s. As always, it pays to be informed!

In health… Gina

The Resume "Gap"

2010-07-25T12:40:00.000-07:00

I will forever be grateful for the opportunity I had to stay at home and raise my triplets for the first five years of their life. I didn’t miss a thing. I saw their first smiles, their first steps and heard their first “I love you.” It has been a miracle to watch them change from such tiny preemie babies into healthy and happy toddlers.

With that said I now have to deal with a typical consequence of being an at-home-Mom for five years; trying to reenter the workforce. The “gap” on my resume is an eyesore. It is usually the first question I am asked on an interview and I am almost positive it is why I am having a more difficult time in finding a job than I did years ago.

Interviewer: “So, tell me about this gap on your resume starting in 2005.”

Me: “I decided to stay home and raise my family.”

Interviewer: [An awkward pause] “Okay.”

Okay seems like an innocent word but it can hold a lot of meaning when it is said in a certain way. Most interviewers say “okay” but I get the feeling they are thinking: (1) Wow – she hasn’t worked in five years. (2) She probably doesn’t know any of the new technology that has been developed over the years. (3) She may not remember how to handle a day in the office. (4) She will have to take off a lot of work days to run kids around to doctors and special events. (5) She has done nothing but relax in front of the television for five years, eating cookies and reading children’s books.

The assumptions made for an at-home-Mom could not be further from the truth. Most of us have developed skills that may take another person a few decades to master. I did a little research and found the top ten skills/qualities an employer is looking for in a future employee. At-home-Moms have perfected all of these:

Communication skills: We teach babies and toddlers how to speak. We are teachers of communication. We are so great at communication we even know what silence means.
Flexibility: We will not survive without perfecting our flexibility skills. We are cooking dinner, wiping markers off the walls, starting a load of laundry and then running downstairs to break up a fight over a toy pony. We are doing all I mentioned above within five minutes.
Negotiation skills: You want to see a Mom with her game-face on? There is no denying the strength behind that face. Negotiation is our specialty. Most men would crumble to a toddler who cries and screams to get what they want. Moms just ignore, clean something and then wait for the child to give in first. Basically, you can’t break us down.
Strong work ethic: We go beyond the call of duty by being on call 24/7 (including all holidays). We never rest and are always looking for ways to improve our efficiency and create a positive environment. We are 100% committed to our work.
Analytical skills: We constantly analyze procedures, events and daily activities to ensure they are done in the most cost-effective way with the best possible outcome. We identify problems long before they arise and are always prepared to tackle them head on.
Organization skills: We organize or we lose control of our household. In my household diapers were organized, bottles were prepared the night before, I created a spreadsheet to track bodily functions to ensure their systems were running correctly. When you have perfected how to track bowel movements of preemie triplets, you have reached the pinnacle of great organization skills.
Honesty and integrity: Children are very curious and ask a lot of questions. As a Mom it is my responsibility to be 100% honest with them. I want them to learn everything they need to learn in order to be a responsible, productive and knowledgeable adult. I always choose the honest route even when they ask me personal questions. However, I do lie about Santa Claus.
Motivation and initiative: Nothing shows motivation or initiative more than a Mom who loves her child. She will stay up all night to care for a sick child, she will encourage a child with wobbly legs to walk and when a doctor says, “There is nothing we can do to cure your child of Autism,” a Mom will search high and low to find a cure regardless.
Teamwork skills: If you are a Mom who participates in play-groups then teamwork skills are fully developed by the time your kids are toddlers. You will easily jump in and help other Moms. When you see any child falling, you immediately run to their rescue. You kiss boo-boos of kids you don’t even know, you help a Mom with full hands carry her baby and you always offer emotional support to new Moms who feel overwhelmed.
Computer skills: Computers are most likely a stay-at-home Mom’s best friend; they keep us connected. We are on Facebook, we blog, we tweet and we join forums. When our kids are sick, we conduct internet research to learn about symptoms and treatments. When our kids are inquisitive and ask, “What does a Zebra say?” we go online and find a voice recording to share with them. We have mastered the skills of putting together a home video to post on YouTube for family on the other side of the world to view. We have perfected Photoshop skills to make ourselves look better in family photos. We create Excel spreadsheets to track our budgets and we put together PowerPoint slide shows to show off our beautiful kids. And, we usually do all of the above with kids climbing on us and interrupting us every two minutes.

Even with a “gap” on my resume and the negative connotations that come along with it, I would never change one ounce of the decision I made. That was a special time in my life where I learned how to care for my kids, how to teach them, how to feed them, how to encourage them and even how to cure them. For me, the “gap” was the most fulfilling time of my life.

Feel free to print out my above list and take to your next interview. When the interviewer tells you, “So, it looks like you haven’t worked in five years” you can give them the list above and say, “I have worked hard, learned a lot and have grown as a person.”

Happy job hunting,

Alicia

Why Don't Stay At Home Mom's Have Spare Time?

2010-07-09T10:42:00.000-07:00

Written By: Gina

I read an article the other day (off a friend’s facebook page- thanks Mandy!) where a columnist was answering the age-old question, “Why can’t my stay at home mom friend ever call me back or set time aside for me?” I literally read the article with tears in my eyes….dreaming of a time when I was actually able to get a monthly pedicure. Or wash my hair in more than 4 minutes.
The article is from The Washington Post:

TELL ME ABOUT IT ®

By Carolyn Hax
Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Carolyn:
Best friend has child. Her: exhausted, busy, no time for self, no time for me, etc. Me (no kids): Wow. Sorry. What'd you do today? Her: Park, play group . . .
Okay. I've done Internet searches, I've talked to parents. I don't get it. What do stay-at-home moms do all day? Please no lists of library, grocery store, dry cleaners . . . I do all those things, too, and I don't do them EVERY DAY. I guess what I'm asking is: What is a typical day and why don't moms have time for a call or e-mail? I work and am away from home nine hours a day (plus a few late work events) and I manage to get it all done. I'm feeling like the kid is an excuse to relax and enjoy -- not a bad thing at all -- but if so, why won't my friend tell me the truth? Is this a peeing contest ("My life is so much harder than yours")? What's the deal? I've got friends with and without kids and all us child-free folks get the same story and have the same questions. Tacoma, Wash.

Relax and enjoy. You're funny.
Or you're lying about having friends with kids.
Or you're taking them at their word that they actually have kids, because you haven't personally been in the same room with them.
Internet searches?
I keep wavering between giving you a straight answer and giving my forehead some keyboard. To claim you want to understand, while in the same breath implying that the only logical conclusions are that your mom-friends are either lying or competing with you, is disingenuous indeed.
So, since it's validation you seem to want, the real answer is what you get. In list form. When you have young kids, your typical day is: constant attention, from getting them out of bed, fed, clean, dressed; to keeping them out of harm's way; to answering their coos, cries, questions; to having two arms and carrying one kid, one set of car keys, and supplies for even the quickest trips, including the latest-to-be-declared-essential piece of molded plastic gear; to keeping them from unshelving books at the library; to enforcing rest times; to staying one step ahead of them lest they get too hungry, tired or bored, any one of which produces the kind of checkout-line screaming that gets the checkout line shaking its head.
It's needing 45 minutes to do what takes others 15.
It's constant vigilance, constant touch, constant use of your voice, constant relegation of your needs to the second tier.
It's constant scrutiny and second-guessing from family and friends, well-meaning and otherwise. It's resisting constant temptation to seek short-term relief at everyone's long-term expense.
It's doing all this while concurrently teaching virtually everything -- language, manners, safety, resourcefulness, discipline, curiosity, creativity. Empathy. Everything.
It's also a choice, yes. And a joy. But if you spent all day, every day, with this brand of joy, and then, when you got your first 10 minutes to yourself, wanted to be alone with your thoughts instead of calling a good friend, a good friend wouldn't judge you, complain about you to mutual friends, or marvel how much more productively she uses her time. Either make a sincere effort to understand or keep your snit to yourself. http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/05/22/AR2007052201554.html.

I have had this struggle lately- trying to manage being at home with my kids, manage the family schedule and manage my own sanity. I have a couple of friends who do not understand why I don’t have time to talk on the phone or answer emails all day and a few more that don’t understand what it’s like to have an ever-changing schedule. It’s frustrating because I am completely type-A and I am all about organization and structure. And I despise “flaky.” I try and explain why I am so busy or why the schedule must change due to my husband’s constantly being gone and I wind up stumbling over myself and then I sound guilty. When my husband is home, he wants to hang with the kids. I will absolutely make sure that happens. So enough of the explanations! Any stay at home mom I know knows what it is all about. I started to think about what it is I do all day and I actually got confused sorting it out! In a nutshell (and this is just a typical morning):

Get up- this can be any time from 6:30 to 8:30 depending on how strict I am with the behavior chart and rewards system. I have been diligent this week so 8:30 it has been and I am grateful!
Make the beds and turn off every electronic device in our house (this is the twins’ favorite thing to do in the morning- turn on every light, walkie talkie, fan and computer.
Make a wholesome, fresh, gluten free breakfast; give out vitamins which is an episode in itself; feed fish; feed dog; let dog out 100 times because he’s 14 ½. Clean up.
Get dressed, brush teeth- kids. Get dressed, brush teeth- me which entails re-securing door alarms and keeping an ear out for broken glass in the event that I actually get to bathe.
Interrupt getting dressed (me) to referee why they both need the same pink crayon at the same time when there are 3 of them. Clean crayon off floors and chairs.
Let dog out again. Make a wholesome, fresh, gluten free lunch. Clean up. Try and answer emails or pay bills…which is impossible because this is when the harassment starts. I can’t complete a thought without being distracted. “Mom, where are we going today?” Three minutes later, “Mom, where are we going today.” Three minutes later…you get the idea. Diversion time. Do they want to color? Play outside? Learn to read? Tell time? Count with money? What am I going to do when they start school? I am going to have to continue to humor them at home if I keep teaching them all this stuff and then the distractions/questions will never stop….but I can’t worry about that now because I just need to get through the Summer!

I have not addressed the arguing, spills, constant questions, phone calls or people at the door, let alone the errands that need to be fit in with twins. Going to the market may take someone without kids 30 minutes. In this house- not so much.
And hello? We are only at 1:00! We still have swim lessons, play dates, dinner, baths and the daily toy cyclone clean up to get through!

So no, I do not have time to talk on the phone. And I don’t put my kids to bed at 5:00 so I can have “me” time (yes- someone I know actually does this!). I have no “me” time! I decided to have children! And just so it’s said, it is the greatest job I have ever had and the most fulfilling. I love watching the kids learn and I figure someday, I will have plenty of time to myself and will be sad about it so I am going to put all of my energy into every question and situation.

I am fortunate in that I have plenty of single girlfriends or friends without children who get it. But for those few who don’t, hopefully this article will open a few eyes!

Happy Chaos!
Gina

Support for People with Food Allergies

2010-06-23T10:09:00.000-07:00

Written by: Alicia

I just happened to stumble upon this find: The Food Allergy & Anaphylaxis Network (FAAN). I joined a local triplet connection club and saw a post about a triplet Mom walking for FAAN. Curious, I did my typical Google search and found a great organization. I can't believe I had not heard of them before.

FAAN was established in 1991. Anne Muñoz-Furlong founded the organization after her daughter was diagnosed with milk and egg allergy as an infant. She discovered that information vital to raising a child with food allergies was not widely available. Their mission is "To raise public awareness, to provide advocacy and education, and to advance research on behalf of all those affected by food allergies and anaphylaxis."

Gina has touched on this subject a few times recently and I would like to reiterate the fact that our schools need to be more sensitive to food allergies. My kids are gluten-free/dairy-free and I have learned from my pre-school adventures that most teachers do not know much about this type of food allergy (and quite honestly, why would they if this has never been advocated before)? Some teachers have given my children gluten without knowing it. They look on the label and do not see "gluten" listed under ingredients and think it is okay.

Although I appreciate them looking at the label, a gluten allergy involves so much more than looking for the word, "Gluten." Gluten disguises itself in a hundred different ways. Those with Celiac disease will easily understand my frustration on this. I don't expect teachers to become nutritionists but if they are handing food out to my kids I do want them to understand all of the food allergies (not just peanut allergies). These teachers need to be educated on what to look for or they need to allow parents, like me, to bring in my own food for my children.

Many schools will not let you bring in your own food because they worry about cross contamination which is an understandable concern. There has to be a better way. It seems more and more kids are experiencing food allergies so our schools need to jump on board in order to help protect our children. Procedures have to be put in place in order for parents to drop kids off at school and not worry about if someone will mistakenly feed them a food they are allergic to.

Personally, when I drop my kids off at school I want my only concern to be if they will learn something new today – not what will they eat today.

If you want to learn more about their organization visit their web site: http://www.foodallergy.org/

If you want to help raise awareness by taking a long walk visit: http://www.foodallergywalk.org/site/PageServer?pagename=2010Walks

Take Care,
Alicia

Being Advocates For Our Kids

2010-06-10T20:29:00.000-07:00

Written By: Gina

I was reminded of very some valuable lessons recently. Never assume people find something that is important to you, important to them and if there is something you are passionate about, it may be beneficial to explain why. We have to be proud advocates for our children- especially if we are trying to protect them.

I was at an event last year where kids were being offered a bag of candy as a gift. Alicia went in the gate before me and she refused the bag of candy for her kids. As she walked away, I heard the girls at the front table say, “Geez, it’s a party. Let your kids have some fun! It’s just candy!” I was next in line and I also refused the candy, basically telling the girls I didn’t want that junk for my kids either. But it’s not about the candy. It’s about what the candy does to our kids when they have it. Alicia and I both make sure our kids have plenty of fun, but in our houses, we have had to teach our kids that fun does not = sugar.

Ever since I decided to limit the sugar my kids eat due to Lexi’s Hypogammaglobulinemia, I have been criticized by some people who should know better. I have been told how controlling and cruel I am as a mother to deny my kids their fun. Some have said if I deny the kids sugar now, they will become “sugarholics” when they get older. I have been ridiculed about this on many occasions, but I have ignored the comments because I do what is best for my family. I seriously thought people were just being mean. Given the information I have shared about my daughter’s illness, I assumed it was very clear that she was sick (she was bald more than half her life!) and that we were limiting her sugar for a reason. My decisions and wishes as a parent regarding this subject should have been enough. Instead of trying to figure out why I would have to explain or justify myself at all, I realized it might be important to show through photos what happens to my girl when she has too much sugar and see if people would then understand. That worked.

Soon after my daughter was diagnosed with an Immune Disorder, we brought the kids to San Diego. We had been feeding the kids organically for about 6 months at that point and the people we were traveling with literally laughed in our faces when we told them so. They bought french fries and bread for the kids because they felt the avocado and banana we were giving them deprived them of “having a good time.” When we asked them not to feed the kids that stuff, they did so anyway and were smugly satisfied when the kids gobbled up all the bread (but not the fries!). My husband and I were shocked that two people could be so bold. They truly thought they were doing our kids a service by giving them bread against our wishes. This couple never asked why our daughter was bald even though we had tried to bring up the issue with them on several occasions. We should have pushed harder to explain what was going on.

Last week, I brought my daughter to a birthday party. I literally had to step out of the room because I was so annoyed and stressed about the amount of sugar the kids were given (10+ items per kid including cake, cookies and candy). I did not want to stand over, control or embarrass my daughter while she was trying to enjoy the party. Another mom was chastising me in front of Lexi and after I left the room, gave my daughter additional candy. Again- this person probably though they were doing my daughter a service by giving her the sweets she was being denied. I suddenly realized the importance of this situation was not understood and was not being taken seriously.

I soon learned that some of the people closest to us did not realize how sick Lexi had been. The last thing we wanted to do as parents in trying to deal with this was have our child live under the stigma of being “sick.” We did not want to talk about this all the time in front of our girl and make her self-conscious. We just wanted her to enjoy being a toddler! I do not believe that any of these people would intentionally harm our children, but they clearly thought we were making selfish choices for them. In trying to downplay the situation for the sake of our daughter, we managed to do so with everyone else as well.

That’s the key here. Our daughter is no longer diagnosed but that is because of the steps we have taken to help get her healthy and we should be proud of that. Our daughter is no longer “sick” because we monitor her food and take her to see a Holistic doctor. Our daughter does not even realize she has food restrictions- it’s the comments of others that make her notice this is even an issue.

As many of us know, sugar is known to contribute to childhood obesity. This is partly because consuming large amounts of sugar causes insulin to spike and then drop, which can trigger overeating. Sugar has a low nutritional value and is a major contributor to cavities and tooth decay.

The average American gets 20% of daily calories from sugar, which is twice as much as doctors recommend. Some doctors believe that years of eating processed foods leads to repeated bouts of increased insulin, which can exhaust your pancreas, causing diabetes. Excess sugar may also trigger insulin resistance, which makes the body less able to reduce levels of blood sugar.
This doesn't mean that sugar causes diabetes; there's no clear biological link between the two. Sugar is a cause of obesity, which has been linked to heart disease and diabetes in adults, so minimizing the amount of refined sugar in your child's diet goes a long way toward good health later in life. http://www.life123.com/parenting/toddlers/child-nutrition/the-effects-of-sugar-on-children.shtml.

Excess sugar depresses immunity, so in a child with an already compromised Immune System, this can be detrimental. Studies have shown that downing 75 to 100 grams of a sugar solution (about 20 teaspoons of sugar, or the amount that is contained in two average 12-ounce sodas) can suppress the body's immune responses. Simple sugars, including glucose, table sugar, fructose, and honey caused a fifty- percent drop in the ability of white blood cells to engulf bacteria. http://www.askdrsears.com/html/4/T045000.asp.

In my daughter’s case where she was not producing fighter B and T cells, this could be severely damaging. Our efforts to feed her right by limiting her sugar, feeding her organically and by giving her hormone free dairy and meat products has done wonders for her. Without the sugar blocking her brain reception, her body can utilize these healthy foods to grow and develop normal, healthy cells. Since the skin is the largest organ we have, it is in this way that my daughter’s negative reaction to sugar shows. She gets a body rash almost immediately and it is very uncomfortable for her. Then we have to spend the next few days “detoxing” her body of the sugar by feeding her the cleanest, freshest, most organic foods minus sugar- including fruit. When I explain Lexi’s condition now, I include photos of her rash which clearly shows her body’s reaction to sugar.

Nancy Appleton, PhD, clinical nutritionist, has compiled a list of 146 reasons on 'how sugar is ruining your health' in her book Lick the Sugar Habit. Here are some of them:

* Sugar can decrease growth hormone (the key to staying youthful and lean)

* Sugar feeds cancer

* Sugar increases cholesterol

* Sugar can weaken eyesight

* Sugar can cause drowsiness and decreased activity in children

* Sugar can interfere with the absorption of protein

* Sugar causes food allergies

* Sugar contributes to diabetes

* Sugar can contribute to eczema in children

* Sugar can cause cardiovascular disease

* Sugar can impair the structure of DNA

* Sugar can cause hyperactivity, anxiety, difficulty concentrating, and crankiness in children

* Sugar contributes to the reduction in defense against bacterial infection (infectious diseases)

* Sugar greatly assists the uncontrolled growth of Candida Albicans (yeast infections)

* Sugar contributes to osteoporosis http://www.naturalnews.com/022692.html

These reasons alone would be enough for me to watch the amount of sugar my children have. Add anything from this list to a child who already has fighter cell development issues and it can only be detrimental.

My main point in writing this blog is to say that parents have the right to choose what is best for their family and those decisions should be respected. What works for one family may not work for another. I am constantly surprised that some people freely give their opinion on what they think you are doing wrong as a parent. That should be taboo! No parent is perfect and we all want what’s best for our kids.

I also want to point out that I assumed every one close to us understood what we have been through regarding Lexi’s diagnosis and I was wrong in doing so. I talked about it. My daughter had no hair. I wish I would have explained myself (for my daughter’s sake) a long time ago and made everyone realize our food choices were not some crazy kick we were on. We made these choices on purpose and for very good reasons!

As usual, thank God for my mom and dad for supporting our choices and for helping those around us understand the importance of maintaining this lifestyle. I believe we have finally had the chance to resolve this issue with some of our family and friends and hopefully the confusion and judgment surrounding this situation will be gone forever!

In health and peace~
Gina

Shop Around for the Right Pediatrician

2010-05-18T19:36:00.000-07:00

Written by: Alicia

I just moved to a new town and have been on the hunt for a new pediatrician. This is always the hardest thing to do after a move. If you have children with health issues then you will understand my desire to find the right doctor. It is scary to have to start from scratch with a doctor who does not know your child’s medical history.

It can be discouraging at times while you are searching as well. You have to explain your child’s medical history over and over to every new doctor you meet until you find the right one. However, I am a firm believer it is well worth the effort. Matter of fact, the decision you make may save your child’s life someday so it is not a decision to make lightly.

I treat finding a new doctor just like I would if I was looking for an employee for my company. I would want to hire someone who is an expert in their field, a team player, someone who listens well and someone who does not hesitate to make critical decisions when they have to.

That may sound a bit silly to someone who has a child with no major health issues but if your child does have major issues, these are the characteristics you want. As some of you know, I almost lost my son two years ago due to a severe asthma attack. I watched as a team of doctors fought to save his life for two hours. Then, I watched as a team from another hospital arrive and save his life within one half hour.

The second team of doctors was from Children’s Hospital and they arrived to transport my son in their well equipped ambulance. They were able to get my son in stable condition almost immediately. It was amazing to see them swoop in and take over. They ended up teaching the other team of doctors a few lessons on how to help clear out a child’s chest while mechanically ventilated.

Why the other team of doctors did know this technique I will never know. What I am now sure of is that it is scary to think about how doctors in the same field can have such a difference in knowledge.

All pediatricians are not the same. Some are current, some are not. Some are good listeners and others have a God-complex. Some consider a mom’s gut feeling while others say we “Google” too much. Some doctors always seem to be advanced in the treatment or care you need while others have not opened up a medical book/journal in years. Matter of fact, I would not even have my kids if I didn’t keep searching for the right fertility doctor. My last doctor tried a new medication on me that did the trick. Five years of struggling and he figured my body out in a matter of months.

It is important to shop around for the right pediatrician. Take it from a mom who has literally seen the vast difference in knowledge between doctors in the same room. There I was in a room full of doctors: One group would not have been able to save my son. The other group was much more knowledgeable, did not hesitate one ounce and saved him quickly.

Shop around,
Alicia

15 Fascinating Facts About Your Dreams

2010-05-11T10:59:00.000-07:00

Written By: Gina

In April, 2009, I posted a blog about Dream Analysis. I have always been fascinated about my dreams, what they mean and how keeping a pad of paper at my bedside helps me remember some amazing details. We were contacted by Hanna Wood at Mritechnicianschools.org, asking if we would link the following information to our site. I was very intrigued by what can affect dreams...I have even identified that if I eat tomatoes in any form before sleep, I am in for a wild ride! I thought I would share the research:

15 Fascinating Facts About Your Dreams

(http://www.mritechnicianschools.org/211/15-fascinating-facts-about-your-dreams/)

As a college student, your sleep habits are probably worth a serious study all their own. From napping in the library to zoning out in class to crashing after late-night partying or all-night study sessions, you probably have some crazy sleep habits and even weirder dreams. But even if you have a normal sleep schedule, the way the human brain dreams is pretty fantastic. Here are 15 fascinating facts about your dreams that you may be surprised to learn.

1. Late-night snacks can cause nightmares: Nightmares in adults are much less common than in children, but there are some factors that can trigger scary dreams. Besides stress, medications and depression, late night munchies can interfere with your body's metabolism. Eating late will make your brain feel like it needs to stay active for your body, which can lead to crazy dreams if you fall asleep instead of use up your energy.

2. Dreams occur all the time, not just during REM sleep: Doctors and scientists used to believe that dreams could only occur when people were in their deepest cycles of sleep, or REM sleep. In fact, dreams can occur at any time, though dreams you have during NREM sleep are usually less intense and less vivid. The National Sleep Research Project proposes that "it's possible there may not be a single moment of our sleep when we are actually dreamless."

3. Day dreams are real: The psychology department at UC Santa Cruz explains that our bodies and brains don't necessarily require actual sleep to dream. As long as certain forces are in effect and the environment is right — when we tune out external stimuli but our brains are still active, for example — we have the potential to dream.

4. Smells affect your dreams: A 2008 German study found that positive and negative smells affect dreams: positive smells result in positive dreams while negative or unpleasant smells result in bad dreams.

5. Blind people don't "see" in their dreams: For people who can see, it can be hard to imagine dreaming without lifelike imagery. But blind people dream, too, though not in the same way. According to The Accidental Mind, people who were born blind or who became blind at a very young age generally experience dreams according to their other senses.

6. The act of dreaming may be like watching a movie: The National Sleep Research Project explains that when you dream, your eye movements react differently during different parts of your dream. Scientists equate this eye movement with the same way you watch a movie.

7. When you wake up determines whether or not you'll remember your dreams: If you can't remember your dreams, there's no need to worry. Whether or not you remember your dreams is determined by when you wake up. If you wake up in the middle of a dream, for instance, you'll be much more likely to remember it than if you wake up after you stopped dreaming, or even during a less significant part of your dream.

8. Your dreaming ability matures by 5th grade: Young children do dream, but UC Santa Cruz's psych department explains that their dreams are usually more "bland." We don't realize our dreaming potential until 5th grade or so.

9. Dreams help depression: It's still debatable whether or not dreams hold any true meaning, but many scientists do believe that dreaming is therapeutic, as it lets your mind freely associate to feelings and explore emotions.

10. Your vitals are similar to your waking self when you dream in the REM cycle: You might think that sleeping is all about relaxing, but when your body reaches the REM cycle, your heart beat, breathing and facial movements increase to a level similar to that of being awake.

11. Night terrors affect you when you sleep and when you're awake: Night terrors usually occur in children 4-12 years of age and are much more intense than nightmares. Sleepwalking may occur, and also unlike nightmares, they last even after you've woken up. Scientists believe that night terrors happen earlier in the night for kids, but at any time of the sleep cycle for adults.

12. iPads and other tech gadgets can make you have crazy dreams: Reading a book in bed is a good way to fall asleep, but not if you're reading your iPad or similarly faux-lit object. The unnatural glow from gadgets keeps your brain active, which can trigger restless sleep and even nightmares or crazy dreams.

13. Your body uses outside influences to keep you asleep: Unless you are in a very deep sleep, your body tries to use external forces — like music or other outside noises — and incorporate them into your dreams as a way of keeping you asleep.

14. You're more sexually aroused when you dream: Just as your heart rate and breathing increase when you're in the REM cycle and ready to dream, you become more sexually aroused, too.

15. We forget 95-99% of our dreams: Sometimes, dreams make such an impression on our conscious minds that they're hard to forget even days later. But for the most part, we forget the majority of the dreams we have each night. Scientists even calculate that we dispose of the memories of 95-99% of our dreams. This tendency to "forget" could be from the fact that we aren't even paying much attention to our dreams as they occur.

Sweet dreams!
Gina

Alicia's View on Turning Forty

2010-04-26T00:00:00.000-07:00

Written by: Alicia

On April 27th I turn forty. I had to release my sadness in a poem. Enjoy!

Alicia's View on Turning Forty

My back hurts
My knees crackle
My skin is thinning
My thinking is less radical

I can’t wear contacts
Doctor said my eyes are too dry
Nearly failed a driving test
Because when asked if I need glasses, I lie

My eyes are more droopy
And so are a few other things
They now hang like socks of sand
No more sexy bras, now I shop for slings

My belly isn’t the same either
It used to have sexy ripples
Now I can stretch it one mile
Because when giving birth, I do it in triples

Is that another stink’n vein?
Why is my body so cruel?
I guess it could be worse
At least I don’t drool

I don’t need handicap parking
I don’t wear diapers yet
I don’t need bifocals
And falling is not a threat

I guess I am doing okay because…
I can stretch my back
I can strengthen my knees
I can buy sexy glasses
I can shop for push up bras
I can wear Spanx and
I can tan my skin

Being forty is not so bad
There are a lot of things I can cover- up
Just shoot that camera from above
And never go in for a close-up.

Food Revolution!

2010-04-19T10:58:00.000-07:00

Written By: Gina

Has anyone watched or heard about this new Food Revolution promoted by Jamie Oliver? I heard about it months ago and ignored it because I thought it was just another chef trying to reach national stardom. Then I was watching TV one Friday night because there was nothing else on and I got hooked! Jamie Oliver has been working with an elementary and high school in Huntington, West Virginia (“We Are Marshall”) to change the menu options for the kids in the town. He met with a lot of trepidation to say the least, and he had a tough time trying to instigate change.

In the first episode I watched, I saw that the elementary kids were eating PIZZA for breakfast! I about passed out! Jamie was showing the food choices kids are given while at school and it was limited to processed, frozen and unhealthy food. I thought of how I would feel if my kids went to that school and had only these options to super-charge their bodies mid-day during school. No way!! I have worked so hard to make proper food choices for my kids, especially since Alexa’s past diagnosis of Hypogammaglobulinemia, and I would be really bent if the only options they have are total crap. The lunch ladies kept saying, “We could serve vegetables and salad but the kids don’t like it so it just sits in the trays.” Well sure. If you put veggies up against frozen pizza, of course the pizza is going to sell out! Jamie Oliver suggests ensuring that ALL lunch options are nutritious so that kids can have a choice, but they have to choose from good, fresh foods.

I joined the revolution. Jamie Oliver is asking that healthy food options replace frozen, processed junk at these schools. Instead of fries, he suggests a stir-fry with vegetables. Instead of pizza and frozen chicken strips, he suggests chili, homemade spaghetti sauce with buckwheat past and fresh fruit. Instead of strawberry and chocolate milk, he suggests plain white milk. I didn’t even know there was strawberry milk!! I guess I am shocked to know that these food options are not available in schools and that kids really are being given junk. I am sure I could dig up a million studies about sugar and improper foods versus attention span and educational production…but I won’t. Unless someone challenges me to! Many suggest that the food tastes bad- that more organic foods just don’t stack up. Well minus the extra sugar and salt, I, personally am OK with having my kids eat the good stuff!

http://www.abc.go.com/shows/jamie-olivers-food-revolution

Here’s the link to Jamie’s website promoting the program and where you can join the revolution. Interestingly enough, California has 49,219 of 368,179 supporters, with Texas and New York at 24,660 and 22,311 joined respectively. How are parents not having a conniption over the food our kids are being served?! Are there certain schools that have better options than others? Do private schools have a more nutritious menu? I would love to hear from all the parents out there whose children have lunch while at school. We hear so much about ADHD, Autism and Immune Disorders lately, I am wondering if other parents find a correlation between food choices and behavior and educational success. I am so curious to know how the rest of you feel about school lunches..and do you have your kids brown bag it instead?

The truth is, we can only do so much as parents. When the kids are at school, they will have to make their own choices about what they eat and I’m not so sure I would choose the broccoli over the french fries if I am being honest! That’s why I think it’s so important to have a salad bar and healthy options and not just processed and frozen food. Thoughts?

In health~
Gina

Define Personal Strength

2010-04-11T12:56:00.000-07:00

Written by: Alicia

All of us bloggers have written “Oprah-like” blog posts every now and then…so here is mine.

I have been thinking a lot about personal strength lately. We all face circumstances in life where our strength is tested and I have had to go through this test recently. For that reason, I wanted to explore the definition of personal strength.

I read in an article by WestEd (an educational research & development agency) that stated, “Personal strengths are what resilience looks like.” Resilience is defined as the ability to bounce back from setbacks quickly. So, how do you define personal strength? Apparently, we have to define this for ourselves.

I thought about it for a while and came up with my definition of personal strength. Here it is:

Personal strength is having self-confidence. It is the ability to communicate with yourself in a positive manner. It is having a vision of who you want to be, how you want to live, how you want to fulfill your vision and then having the faith you can achieve success. Personal strength is also about having independence and not depending on anyone else to tell you how to think or feel. It is the ability to make moral decisions that are best for you and then acting on them; having an internal sense of control. Lastly, it is about having the ability to laugh at yourself because laughter transforms pain.

That is my definition. Think about your definition and write it down. It is empowering to be able to define how you view personal strength. I have faced enough situations in life by now to know that in difficult times your personal strength is what will see you through.

…well, that and Oprah of course.

Take care,
Alicia

http://friendinreach.blogspot.com/

Healthcare Fees Got’ya Again

2010-03-30T00:00:00.000-07:00

I’d like to share this experience. It is brief, but true. Last week, my husband called me at around 8 am in the morning after leaving for work. He had traveled an hour south from our home to meet a customer. Breathless, through the phone he gasped, “Nat, I have a kidney stone and it is passing right now. I have got to get to a hospital. I know this is not what we needed.” This was the third time he has passed a kidney stone in the last few years.

Part of me was trying to stay calm and collected so I could be a support to my husband and figure out how to get to him. But, like him, I was wondering how on earth we were going to pay for this visit? He had not been given insurance cards yet from his new employer and we are in the middle of a foreclosure. We have been hit by several medical crises, deaths, a job loss, and now the loss of our home. The last thing we needed was a huge hospital bill, to top things off. We are in a teetering balance, like the Eiffel tower trying to stand straight and tall.

My husband called me a few hours later to inform me that the hospital was ready for him to be picked up after they did all their tests. I asked him if he had passed his stone yet? He had not. I asked him why they were sending him out? He said, “Probably because I don’t have proof of insurance yet.” His employer’s accountant lost the paperwork he filled out when he was hired, did not inform him until after the date he qualified.

You know, everyone says it is insurance that is stripping us clean, but I have to share what the ‘hospital’ stuck us with.

My husband was in the ER for four hours. They never hooked him up to an IV. Instead of giving him an x-ray, which would have been much cheaper, they gave him a ‘couple’ CT-Scans to view and confirmed the kidney stone was there. They gave him a container to throw up in, morphine, and nausea medicine, checked him for infection (he did not have), then sent him home with a written prescription for almost $100.00 worth of medication. He passed his stones at home over a period of four days without the assistance of the hospital. It was tough.

In return, we received a whopping bill from the hosptial for the services they say they rendered:

Medical/Surgical Supplies...$60.37
Laboratory..................$324.00
CT Scan/Body............... $3,130.00 (My husband never had a whole body scan done)
CT Scan/Other...............$982.00 (I’d like to know what “other” is)
Emergency Dept/Facility.....$2,410.00 (You’d think this was a overnight stay)
Drugs Requiring Coding......$29.77 (morphine and nausea)
Self-Adminst. Drugs.........$31.69 (We got a prescription slip, no medicine)
Receipts, Adjustments
We paid out-of-pocket -$100.00 (credit)
________
Total $6,867.83

Now the Radiology Bill has come in at a total of $470.00. Read, was a CT of the Pelvic ($200) and a CT of the Abdomen ($270). Notice, there is not CT for the BODY anywhere in this bill.

So the tallied total so far is...$7, 337.83! I am sure labs are on their way too.

A doctor friend of ours, informed me that it only costs $10.00 to do an EKG, yet what do you and I get charged?

We wonder why so many people are upset about healthcare.

Natalie

Yoga & Meditation

2010-03-23T12:01:00.000-07:00

Written By: Gina

I have been looking for a place to meditate to help clear my head and to experience total relaxation. I’m sure everyone has an incredibly busy life so to be able to sit, relax and focus without the usual distractions of the day would be so healing. I try, but attempting to even take a bath while hearing running, screaming and Disney’s Princess Sing Along is tough to do! Between managing the family schedule, the kids, dog and day to day errands, I barely have time to get a monthly pedicure let alone relax on a daily basis. To me, yoga and meditation sound like pure heaven!

You've probably heard that yoga is good for you. Maybe you have even tried yoga and discovered that it makes you feel better. But what are the specific health benefits can you expect to enjoy from doing yoga regularly? As always, when I investigate stuff like this, I like to share what I find. If this blog promotes relaxation for even one person, through yoga or another form, that would be great! I found there are many types of Yoga and many studios create their own variations of each practice. I will discuss some of the main forms.

Meditation is a holistic discipline by which the practitioner attempts to get beyond the reflexive, "thinking" mind into a deeper state of relaxation or awareness. Meditation is a component of many religions, and has been practiced since antiquity. It is also practiced outside religious traditions. Different meditative disciplines encompass a wide range of spiritual goals—from achievement of a higher state of consciousness, compassion and loving kindness, to greater focus, creativity or self-awareness, or simply a more relaxed and peaceful frame of mind. ~Wikipedia

Asana: Any of various bodily positions assumed in yogic exercise.

Physical Benefits:
Flexibility: Stretching your tight body in new ways will help it to become more flexible, bringing greater range of motion to muscles and joints. Over time, you can expect to gain flexibility in your hamstrings, back, shoulders and hips.

Strength: Many yoga poses require you to support the weight of your own body in new ways, including balancing on one leg (such as in Tree Pose) or supporting yourself with your arms (such as in Downward Facing Dog). Some exercises require you to move slowly in and out of poses, which also increases strength.

Muscle tone: As a by-product of getting stronger, you can expect to see increased muscle tone. Yoga helps shape long, lean muscles.

Pain Prevention: Increased flexibility and strength can help prevent the causes of some types of back pain. Many people who suffer from back pain spend a lot of time sitting at a computer or driving a car. That can cause tightness and spinal compression, which you can begin to address with yoga. Yoga also improves your body’s alignment, both in and out of class, which helps prevent many other types of pain.

Better Breathing: Most of us breathe very shallowly into the lungs and don't give much thought to how we breathe. Yoga breathing exercises, called Pranayama, focus the attention on the breath and teach us how to better use our lungs, which benefits the entire body. Certain types of breath can also help clear the nasal passages and even calm the central nervous system, which has both physical and mental benefits.

Mental Benefits:
Mental Calmness: Yoga asana practice is intensely physical. Concentrating so intently on what your body is doing has the effect of bringing calmness to the mind. Yoga also introduces you to meditation techniques, such as watching how you breathe and disengagement from your thoughts, which help calm the mind.

Stress Reduction: Physical activity is good for relieving stress, and this is particularly true of yoga. Because of the concentration required, your daily troubles, both large and small, seem to melt away during the time you are doing yoga. This provides a much-needed break from your stressors, as well as helping put things into perspective. The emphasis yoga places on being in the moment can also help relieve stress, as you learn not to dwell on past events or anticipate the future. You will leave a yoga class feeling less stressed than when you started.

Body Awareness: Doing yoga will give you an increased awareness of your own body. You are often called upon to make small, subtle movements to improve your alignment. Over time, this will increase your level of comfort in your own body. This can lead to improved posture and greater self-confidence. ~yoga.about.com/od/ beginningyoga/a/benefits.htm

Bikram: also referred to as Hot Yoga takes place in a much higher than normal temperatures. Exercise rooms are often above 90 degrees in order to loosen up your body and spine for all of the strenuous flexing that is done. Sweat also helps to move toxins out of the body.

Vinyasa: means breath-synchronized movement and tends to be a more vigorous style based on the performance of a series of poses called Sun Salutations, in which movement is matched to the breath. A Vinyasa class will typically start with a number of Sun Salutations to warm up the body for more intense stretching that's done at the end of class. The focus is on moving and flowing through constant asanas.

Jivamukti: This type of yoga combines deep meditation with a strong physical workout. The cofounders of this type of yoga combined Ashtanga with a variety of spiritual teachings. While there is still the same amount of flowing, strengthening, and strenous asanas as Vinyasa yoga, but with chants, meditations, and other spiritual aspects of yoga added in.

Iyengar: This style of practice is most concerned with bodily alignment. In yoga, the word alignment is used to describe the precise way in which your body should be positioned in each pose in order to obtain the maximum benefits and avoid injury. Iyengar practice usually emphasizes holding poses over long periods versus moving quickly from one pose to the next (flow). Also, Iyengar practice encourages the use of props, such as yoga blankets, blocks and straps, in order to bring the body into alignment.

Ashtanga: (power yoga), which means "eight limbs" in Sanskrit, is a fast-paced, intense style of yoga. A set series of poses is performed, always in the same order. Ashtanga practice is very physically demanding because of the constant movement from one pose to the next. In yoga terminology, this movement is called flow. If a class is described as Power Yoga, it will be based on the flowing style of Ashtanga, but not necessarily keep strictly to the set Ashtanga series of poses.

Kundalini: The emphasis in Kundalini is on the breath in conjunction with physical movement, with the purpose of freeing energy in the lower body and allowing it to move upwards. All asana practices make use of controlling the breath. But in Kundalini, the exploration of the effects of the breath (also called prana, meaning energy) on the postures is essential. Kundalini uses rapid, repetitive movements rather than poses held for a long time, and the teacher will often lead the class in call and response chanting.

Hatha: This mellow form of yoga focuses on simple poses that flow from one to the other at a very comfortable pace. Participants are encouraged to go at their own pace, taking time to focus on the breathing and meditation in their practice. This yoga is ideal for winding down at the end of a tough day.

Kripalu: is more spontaneous, flowing, and meditation orientated. Kripalu yoga starts with the first stage of postural alignment and intertwining of breath and movement, and the poses are held a short time.
The student progresses to the second stage with meditation included and poses held for longer. Finally, the practice of poses becomes a spontaneous dynamic movement. The essence of Kripalu yoga is experienced through a continuous flow of postures whilst meditating, for gentle yet dynamic yoga.
Practice would start with meditation and centering, breathing, warm up movements to heat up and prepare for poses, yoga postures, guided posture flows and relaxation.

Sivananda: Yoga has a series of 12 poses, with the Sun Salutation, breathing exercises, relaxation, and mantra chanting as the basis. These are the elements in a typical class:
Relaxation, Mantra Chanting, Breath Control, Sun Salutation, Leg Lifts, Headstand, Shoulder Stand and Plough, Fish, Forward Bend, Cobra, Locust, Bow, Spinal twist, Balancing posture (which is usually the peacock pose), Standing forward bend, Triangle Mantras, and Universal Prayer Final Relaxation ~yoga.org.nz/what-is-yoga/yoga_styles.htm

I sincerely hope everyone has a form or method of relaxation that helps you unwind and clear your mind. I believe Yoga can help me in so many ways and I need to get started already! Anything that promotes peace, happiness and stress reduction is a great idea!

In peace and relaxation~
Gina

Infertility Video

2010-03-08T12:05:00.000-08:00

Written by: Alicia

Here is a short video we put together about infertility. We want to let people, who are currently struggling, know they are not alone. In fact, 7.3 million in the USA suffer. In the video we list some of the well-known reasons for infertility and then we list some of the not so well-known reasons. The not so well-known reasons are a few of the topics we researched and wrote about in our book, “A Girlfriend’s Guide Through Infertility.”

Please support infertility education and prevention.

Life- Choices, Issues and How To Be Inspired

2010-02-28T14:23:00.000-08:00

Written By: Gina

I remember a time when making decisions was easy. When I was younger, there were endless possibilities and I could only think in positive terms. What happens as we get older? When did I lose that glow- that positive spark I always used when dealing with family issues or making choices regarding my future? Am I the only one that feels this way? We have such power in the choices we make, yet we make so many based on fear and doubt. It happens- we experience more things and people in life and learn valuable lessons...some tougher than others. I am just learning a lot of my lessons at an older age.

As I get older and reality sets in, I see how people really view things. When I was young, I thought everyone was my friend and that they all had my best interests at heart. What I see now is that most people have their best interests at heart. Which is completely understandable. However, I would still like to hold on to the belief that lending a helping hand rather than a closed fist is the way to go. Whatever happened to tolerance and forgiveness and just being kind to one another? Whatever happened to “treat others as you would like to be treated?”

As I get older, the questions I ask myself get harder. Like when is enough, enough? What constitutes self-respect? I was raised to “keep the peace” because it’s the “right thing to do?” Why is it the right thing to do and for whom? What if someone dumps all over you? I need to set an example for my children..so do I teach them to ignore malicious behavior and act like everything is fine (keeping the peace) or do I tell them to stand up for themselves and do the right thing? When can we all say, “It’s not OK?”
Help me understand how to do this…can anyone provide insight? Tell me what your thoughts are- I value our readers’ opinions.

This was sent to me by someone and I really liked the message. I have been working on bringing more peace into my life. Sometimes I talk too much and say the wrong things, sometimes I am too sensitive, but it is all done with the desire to figure things out and grow as a person. I am seeking truth:

Choose to love- rather than hate: Hate is ugly and living with hate makes people ugly. I choose love any day of the week! But I have also learned that sometimes in order to do so, you need to walk away. I pray for the strength to let things roll off my back, but I am not always able to do that. Limiting the time I spend with those that hurt me gives me the strength to carry on in a more positive way. Not having to deal with it means not having to deal with it.

Choose to laugh- rather than cry: Amen! Thank God for Disneyland, hanging out with friends and Jim Carrey! I don’t waste a lot of time crying..I would much rather enjoy a good belly laugh that comes from a healthy and positive heart and mind. To that end, when I cry, those close to me know I must be really frustrated and hurt.

Choose to create- rather than destroy: This is why I chose to write a book with Alicia. I chose to help other women regarding infertility even though I had to bare my soul to do so. I feel it is more creative to discuss and validate past hurts in an attempt to help others than it is to ignore my infertility struggle. I have learned that some people do not appreciate my honesty :) but that’s OK. I need to be true to myself.

Choose to persevere- rather than quit: Never say “I can’t,” or “I quit!” This is a huge lesson I drill into my kids daily. I will win this game called life because I was given two precious angels to guide through it. Not to mention I feel I am important enough to enjoy happiness. I am always looking for ways to improve and I am completely aware that I am not perfect. As long as people have the desire to do better, that's OK in my book.

Choose to praise- rather than gossip: Oooh. I wish I was the type of person that saw the good in others- even when they lie, manipulate and live their lives based on material possessions and competition. I will admit though, that if I gossip, I usually tell the person what I said or what I think anyway. What I pray for- what I really wish, is that I didn’t waste precious time worrying about such things.

Choose to heal- rather than wound: I have spent a lot of time healing my sweet girl and it has paid off! Plus the research in the book will help a lot of people. Now for me…maybe some yoga or kickboxing? I always love a good discussion about life too- girlfriend time is the best for that! Healing for me has come in many forms over the years. The biggest lesson I have learned is that a lot of things from your child hood resurface when you have kids (yours and your spouse’s). I was blessed with a lot of love, good advice and virtue, but I need to “break the chain” on some behaviors too.

Choose to give- rather than steal: These all have so many meanings but this one I take literally. Have an open heart and I believe that will come back to you.

Choose to act- rather than procrastinate: Life is too short to not try something new. I have never been much of a procrastinator- I don’t believe in it. I rarely sit on an issue or task for long- drives my husband nuts! It is this issue that fear affects the most, I think.

Choose to grow- rather than rot: Mentally, spiritually, personally. What do people do to develop these? What do you find helps you grow as a person? Please share- I would love some suggestions! Is there a book you read, saying you live by or place you visit to inspire you?

Choose to pray- rather than curse: I seriously need to work on this one. I admit fully that I am a giving, positive person until you attack, lie to or cold shoulder me. I really need to start going to church- it is an hour I have valued in the past that helps straighten out my thinking. It definitely helps me make decisions based on a loving heart rather than angry one.

Choose to live- rather than die: I choose to live and I will keep climbing that mountain!! Our lives are a gift and we should make the most of it.

~God Memorandum by Og Mandino

I would really, really love people’s feedback. I completely desire to be a better person and rise above the challenges in my life. I want to hear what you all do to promote peace and happiness. I value your help and inspiration! I will say that time heals all wounds, in my case anyway. If people don’t want to change, it's the way it is and that makes things a lot easier. I am curious to know though, how people get through this stuff. Tell me your story!

In Peace~
Gina

"A Girlfriend's Guide Through Infertility" Web Site

2010-02-07T18:53:00.000-08:00

Written by: Alicia

“A Girlfriend’s Guide Through Infertility” is a book we wrote in an effort to support other women and men experiencing infertility. While going through infertility I wanted so much to find a book like ours. It seemed most of the books I read focused on the general details of infertility and all of the possible treatments for it. Don’t get me wrong, I loved these books and learned a lot. These books are certainly a necessity.

However, I wanted to find a more personal book. I wanted to hear the raw emotions a woman goes through while struggling with infertility. Basically, I didn’t want to feel alone in my struggle. I wanted to be able to relate to someone else. I wanted to know if the feelings I was experiencing were typical for a woman going through this or if I needed to admit myself into a psych ward somewhere.

Along with our personal struggles, our book also focuses on infertility education and prevention. Gina and I both researched possible products, environmental issues and other circumstances that can poorly affect a woman and a man’s fertility. The information we have collected is a necessity for every young adult to read. We hope to someday have our information added to sex and health education books given to elementary and junior high school students.

We have been working on this book for three years. The more writing we have done and the more women we have talked to, the more we certainly feel there is a need for our book. A great number of women can relate to us and we can relate to them. It seems some of the crazy thoughts I had during my struggle are typical of a woman experiencing infertility. Suddenly, I began to feel that my feelings were “normal” and normalcy during infertility is a rare feeling to have.

If you are currently struggling with infertility, I want you to read some of the following quotes we have collected from our Infertility Survey. I feel I could have written a number of these myself. If you are looking for women and men to relate to, here they are:

“Infertility is a curse, even in this day and age, there is a certain stigma attached to it, and more so if you have miscarriages. It is a process that drains you emotionally, physically and financially. It is one of the toughest test any marriage can face.”

“I never thought getting pregnant would be so hard. I've spent the last 15 years trying NOT to get pregnant. Sometimes I wonder if it's punishment for having "too much fun". Why is it someone with a diet of soda pop, crack, and chips can get pregnant but not someone willing to almost give their soul?”

“I feel my case is hopeless. My next step will be a biopsy to see if they can get sperm. If not it will be a dead end for me unless some new treatment comes out before I am to old.”

“Infertility is tough especially when people around you seem to be conceiving as and when they want to. And 'innocent' questions and comments about children/pregnancy such as 'are you planning to have kids sometime?', or 'don't worry you are still young,' can hurt badly. If only people knew what to/what not to say. I think awareness will help.”

“It would be nice to know more about secondary infertility. There is a lot of information about people who can't get pregnant the first time, but for those of us with secondary infertility there is very little. My first pregnancy was unplanned 8 years ago and now that I want to plan #2 we can't seem to catch any luck.”

“I wanted to have another child, I just can't afford any more treatments. Every headline in the news is about someone who mistreated their child. We are great parents...it isn't fair.”

“Thank you so much for doing this. It's amazing how little is taught to us about preserving our fertility. When my cycle started changing - periods got shorter, started spotting between periods - even my ob/gyn told me to be glad they've gotten shorter! There was nothing to worry about. Spotting is normal. We need to listen to our bodies. If our periods are changing, something is changing inside us to cause the change. I'm just so glad that someone is finally working toward finding these things out.”

We have over 400 surveys filled out and I have a lot more quotes to post. I will post them periodically because I think they speak for so many of us. In the meantime, please support our book and visit our “A Girlfriend’s Guide Through Infertility” web site.

On our new site you can also view a few chapters of our book we have online at the HarperCollins’ site called, Authonomy. Please take some time to read our chapters and your feedback would be much appreciated.

We wish the very best,
Alicia

Job Hunting: For Goodness Sakes, Don’t Say You’re an At-Home-Mom

2010-01-25T11:52:00.000-08:00

Written by: Alicia

So here is how a portion of my job interview went last week:

Interviewer/my new headhunter: Why did you leave your last job?

Me: I started a family and wanted to stay home.

Interviewer: Do you mean you ‘voluntarily’ left?

Me: Is that what I need to say? If so, then yes. I voluntarily left to raise my family.

Interviewer: You do not need to release your personal information. You can just say you left voluntarily and on good terms.

I felt shunned for a second there. As if leaving a job to raise a family is something I need to be ashamed of and should not mention. I don’t really understand this way of thinking but it is certainly how the mainstream thinks. The majority of people, who I ask how I should handle this question, tell me to not say I was an at-home-Mom.

As our followers on this blog should know by now, I let it all out. I actually have a problem of sharing too much. I would rather just put it all out there because trying to keep a secret is very hard for me. I do not lie very well at all. Some would say I am not lying by not disclosing this personal information but I have always felt that by withholding information I am lying.

So, when hit with this question I feel uncomfortable now. I feel like I am lying when I say, “I left voluntarily and on good terms.” If I was the interviewer I would wonder what it is that this chick is NOT telling me. Some people have told me to say, “I left my last job to handle family matters.” Isn’t this the same thing? Why do I have to create this front?

This situation has made me really stop and think about why being a stay at-home-Mom sounds so bad during an interview. Do people think at-home-Moms are lazy? Do they feel we have lost some intelligence because we have not worked in an office for a while? Maybe they feel some of our brain cells dropped out of us while we were “dropping” babies. Maybe they feel the babies sucked any useful knowledge we once had while they were sucking our… Okay, am I crossing the line now?

I get mad at stuff like this. I don’t want to hide the fact I am a mother. I worked pretty darn hard to become one. After five very long years of infertility I am very proud of it. I am also very proud of my triplets. However, I asked some fellow triplet Moms via a forum I visit if any of them disclose that they are triplet Moms during the interview process. Everyone told me to never admit to that during an interview. Apparently people get “freaked” out about it.

Maybe they think I will miss a lot of work because I have three small children at home. I don’t know. But, I am being asked to lie again. During one interview I practiced the answer, “I left so I could stay at home to handle family matters.” The interviewer kinda laughed and said, “I have kids too. How many kids do you have?” I said, “Three.” He said, “How old are they?” I said, “Four.” There was a long pause while he expected me to continue my answer. I just kept looking and smiling at him until he figured it out. Then the look of shock came over his face. He said, “Do you have triplets?” I said, “Yes.” He said, “Wow. You must be very busy.”

Guess what? I never heard from that guy again. I am not sure if it was because I was not the right person for the job or if it was the mention of triplets. Either way, I have come to accept that in order for me to now get a job I most likely need to lie and not say I have been at home raising kids and I most certainly should never mention I have young triplets. Looks like I have to hide the most important things in my life that I am very proud of. In order to find a job I will try my best to withhold this information.

But for the record, raising kids has made me a smarter, wiser and a more organized person. I have not sat idly by either. At-home-Moms develop or perfect other skills, such as: Researcher, negotiator, “multi tasker,” organizer, care giver, nutritionist, meal planer, health care provider and blog creator...to name a few.

With everything I have been through over these past few years I have learned to never question myself. I can now honestly say I trust my judgment. I trust the research I do and I most certainly trust my gut instinct about things.

Being a Mom has made me a stronger and better person. It has been the most rewarding job I have ever had but yet I can’t mention it on my resume. It has also been very exhausting. I think working a 40-hour work week will actually be a nice break for me. I bet I can’t say that during an interview either.

Happy Job Hunting,
Alicia

http://friendinreach.blogspot.com/

Martin Luther King Jr. Day;What Does It Mean To You?

2010-01-18T13:54:00.000-08:00

Written By: Gina

I wasn't going to write about MLK Day but I have something to say...and our
loyal readers know how I get when I have something to say!

Today on Yahoo News, the following article is called, "Controversy Behind
MLK Day." Controversy? So I read...
http://buzz.yahoo.com/buzzlog/93321?fp=1

I didn't feel the article was as controversial as the comments that went
along with it. I have never been so appalled and offended by people's
opinions on both sides of a topic. I do believe in freedom of speech because
that's what this country is all about- giving everyone a platform to say
what they feel. But I am truly saddened by the ignorance and bigotry that
still exists in the world as is evident by these comments.

I have to admit- I am naïve when it comes to this bigoted state of mind. I
am Caucasian by definition as I am full blooded Italian American. However,
all my life I have been called a bevy of racial slurs including some
associated with Black heritage (growing up in NY, some people would say that
since Sicily was so close to Africa.....well, you get the picture).
Honestly, I was offended by being called any name other than "Gina." Any
racial slur was and is a mark of a nasty, angry heart.

I do not see people based on their color. As some of you know, I used to
call Yola (a former boss who was Jamaican) "Momma." I do not refer to my
friends as "The Black One," or "The Asian One," or label them by
nationality. I have had several conversations with a friend of mine who has
a Black father and White mother. She has told me things about her life that
shock me because I cannot believe these racial behaviors still exist today.
Like being pulled over by the police on too many occasions to count just
because she may look more black than white and drives luxury cars or by
people assuming she is uneducated and unintelligent for no reason other than
the color of her skin (which is gorgeous I might add). She has really opened
my eyes about the stuff that still goes on even though I may not have wanted
to see it. My naivety has protected me from truly seeing some of this
opinion- I am not open to hearing it I suppose. Only once in my life has
someone tried to engage me in a conversation about race...a man was actually
trying to glorify a white supremacy group while in my presence. Boy did he
get an earful!

My parents did a good job of breaking down racial stereotypes in our family.
My parents taught us to judge a person based on their heart and mind and not
on their skin. My parents taught us that bigotry has no place in our world
and I am so thankful they did. I would be missing out on a lot of meaningful
conversations and relationships otherwise.

I am not going to say I am not prejudiced because I am. I am prejudiced of
stupidity, hatred and intolerance. I am also offended by blame. Blaming an
entire race? It makes no sense! Especially if the hater has never interacted
with the person or people they are attacking. I would like to see
mass-judgment go away...judging an entire group because of the actions of a
few. White people do stupid things, but not ALL White people. Same for the
Black race and every other race. I do not want to carry the responsibility
for choices I was not here on this earth to make. I do not take
responsibility for the past- it's how I act and live today that counts for
me.

I have always viewed Martin Luther King Jr. Day as a day of respect to a man
that risked his life to demand equality for all men. The annual parades in
his honor are meant to be peaceful; denouncing violence and anger. The
comments linked to this article accuse Dr. King of many things...infidelity,
deceit and not being the man he said he was. The fact still remains that Dr.
King died in the name of equality- he stood out among the masses to make a
difference in this world, cheat or not. He gave a voice to freedom that to
this day is reiterated to generations over. I have to laugh at all of the
accusations about Dr. King and his behavior, because if you know of any
politician or public figure with a perfectly unmarred record, let's hear it!
What about the message of this day?? Instead of hearing it, people are
trying to pick it apart and denounce it. The message- to me as an American
and human being, is that someone was willing to stand up for equality. To me
that means justice for all- women included.

My promise to everyone who sees MLK Day as a day that represents peace and
equality..I will raise my children to not question the color of someone's
skin. I will teach my kids to question ignorance and bigotry instead and
say, "That is not OK." I have taught my children that Princess Tiana from
"The Princess and the Frog" is just as beautiful as "Cinderella" (or in
Rocco's case Belle). I still believe in the message that even if you change
one person, it is one step closer to changing the world. But to the bigots,
I will also teach my children to challenge hatred and ignorance. I will show
them what it means to stand up and speak against it and be confident that
they are doing the right thing.

Enjoy peace today and for all of us that have a dream for our children,
ourselves or our family, still hope that one day, the true meaning of
equality will be a reality.

Gina

The First Step in Infertility

2010-01-06T11:49:00.000-08:00

Written by: Alicia

Infertility makes you feel a lot of different feelings. You feel isolated, sad and not in charge. For me, infertility was especially hard because I felt like I had no control over my body. What was supposed to be the easiest thing in the world to achieve was actually the hardest.

Maybe I have control issues but the loss of control was the hardest for me to accept. I did everything I ever wanted to do in life up until the point when I was diagnosed with infertility. I graduated college, I had a career in marketing and I found a great husband. I was ready for the next step. For five years I was ready for that next step.

One thing you will hear most infertile women say is, “I thought if I just worked hard enough, I could achieve anything.” So, kudos for our parents who encouraged us to think this way. For the most part, they were right and it is a true statement. But, when it comes to your body it may not be that simple.

For most infertile women it is vital to figure out ways to take back some of that control. Taking back some control will help you to stay focused and positive. Gina and I have recently been talking to a woman who is currently going through infertility treatments. We just learned today that she has changed doctors because her previous doctor did not make time for her.

This is the taking back of some control I am referring to. So many women will stay with the same doctor for years. Gina and I never stayed with the same doctor for years. We most likely gave a doctor one year and if we were not pregnant, we moved on. Both of us learned that doctors vary in their degree of knowledge when it comes to infertility treatments. Some of this variance was quite astounding.

Needless to say, finding the best doctor for you is the most crucial aspect of infertility. Never stay with a doctor just because they are nice to you. Never stay with one just because their office is the closest to you and never stay with a doctor just because you like his/her nursing staff. Stay with one who you feel is the most knowledgeable. Stay with one who is up to date with the current treatments and medications. Stay with one who caters to your specific needs and does not put you on the infertility treatment conveyer belt. To put it bluntly, shop around.

The 1992 Fertility Clinic Success Rate and Certification Act was passed so that the CDC would be required to publish success rates for fertility clinics in the United States. This should be your first step in researching fertility clinics. Compare local doctors and make your decision. Here is the most current report: http://www.cdc.gov/ART/ART2006/508PDF/2006ART.pdf

If you do not have much control over your body when it comes to infertility at least you can take control over who is working on your body. Always make informed decisions.

Take care,
Alicia

http://friendinreach.blogspot.com/

"Boys Adrift"

2009-12-27T18:26:00.000-08:00

Written By: Gina

My mom sent this to me and I thought it was a fascinating read...

Boys Adrift: the Five Factors Driving the Growing Epidemic of Unmotivated Boys and Underachieving Young Men (December 7, 2007)
An ULTRA-short summary
By Leonard Sax, MD, PhD

I have been a practicing physician for 21 years. For the past 17 years, I have worked in a suburb of Washington DC. Ten years ago, I began noticing something odd. I’d find a family where the daughter was motivated, hardworking, and successful – while her brother was an under-achiever. I have now documented this pattern dozens of times just in my own practice. Emily is a straight-A student determined to get into a good college, while her brother – just as smart as Emily – has none of her drive. The opposite pattern, with an intense, highly-motivated son and a laid-back “slacker” sister, is very rare.

In the past seven years, I have visited over 200 schools around the United States, Canada, and Australia. I have met with teachers, spoken with parents, and listened to children and teenagers from every demographic group. I have found that this pattern is becoming more common everywhere you look. You will find it in cities, in suburbs and in rural areas; you will find it among White, Black, and Latino families; and you will find it in affluent neighborhoods nearly as often as in low-income neighborhoods. What’s going on?

I have spent every available moment for the past seven years researching this question. I have published scholarly articles for the American Psychological Association and the American Academy of Family Physicians. I have written op-eds for newspapers such as the Washington Post, the Los Angeles Times and the Philadelphia Daily News. I have corresponded with more than a thousand parents and their sons. I have seen this question grow from my own personal mission to become a national topic of debate and the central theme of movies such as Failure to Launch. And now, finally, I think I’ve figured it out. I have identified five factors which I believe are driving this phenomenon. And I have seen what works: what parents can do to turn this thing around and get their sons back on track.

Here’s a quick run-down on the five factors which are disengaging so many boys:
1) Changes in education. Over the past 30 years, American education has undergone three major changes which have had the unintended consequence of turning boys off school. Here we have space just to talk about one of those changes, namely: the acceleration of the early elementary curriculum. Thirty years ago, kindergarten typically was about activities such as fingerpainting, or playing duck-duck-goose, or singing in rounds, or going on a field trip to splash in a pond or chase after tadpoles. No longer. Today, kindergarten is first and foremost about learning to read and write. In other words, the kindergarten curriculum in 2007 looks suspiciously like the first-grade curriculum in 1977. Likewise, we’re now asking 1st-graders to do what we asked 2nd or 3rd-graders to do thirty years ago. And so on.

That acceleration of the early elementary curriculum took place without any awareness of recent neuroanatomical research showing that the different regions of the brain develop in a different sequence in girls compared with boys. The language area in the brain of a typical 5-year-old boy, according to a large NIH study published in 2006, looks very much like the language area in the brain of a 3½-year-old girl. Many 5-year-olds are simply not ready to sit for hours, learning to read and write – not because they’re dumb, but because they are BOYS. The result is that for many young boys, the first experience of school is a turnoff. I’ve watched this happen countless times. “Jason honey, why are you squidgeting and widgeting in your chair like that? Please stop, it’s very distracting. Damien, are you making that buzzing noise again? Please. Jason, what did I just tell you! Now look at Emily, she’s being so good, she’s sitting still and being quiet. Is that so hard for you boys? Can’t you please just SIT STILL AND BE QUIET!” The boys get the message that doing well in school means being more like a girl and less like a boy. But boys don’t want to be girls (just as girls don’t want to be boys). As a result, many boys develop hostile attitudes toward school – by the age of 6! – which are hard to change, particularly if parents and teachers don’t understand where those attitudes came from.

2) Video games. The average American boy spends 13 hours a week playing video games, compared to less than 5 hours per week for girls. That figure does NOT include time spent watching television. And that’s just the AVERAGE: many boys spend 15 to 20 hours a week, which means on a typical day they’re spending two hours or more in front of the PlayStation or the Xbox or the GameCube. We now have some extraordinary brain research demonstrating that boys who spend more than eight hours a week playing video games – which means, the majority of American boys – actually atrophy the area of the brain involved in motivation and concentration. They are more likely to prefer video games to reading a book, and more likely to be diagnosed with ADHD, which leads to the next factor:

3) Medications for ADHD. In affluent suburbs, as many as one in three White boys today is taking a medication such as Adderall, Ritalin, Concerta, or Metadate. Recent research from Harvard University and other prestigious research institutions suggests that when these “academic steroids” are administered at an early age, the end result may be damage to the nucleus accumbens. The nucleus accumbens plays no role in cognition. The function of the nucleus accumbens is to translate motivation into action. If a boy has a damaged nucleus accumbens, he’ll look fine and he’ll feel fine. But he’ll be lazy – particularly if he stops taking those medications.

4) Endocrine disruptors in the environment. The average young man in the United States today has a sperm count less than half what his grandfather had at the same age. And, a typical boy in the United States today is more than twice as likely to break a bone compared with a boy thirty years ago – despite the fact that the boy today is less active. Researchers such as Dr. Shanna Swan at the University of Rochester have traced these changes to endocrine disruptors in the food our children eat and the water they drink. For example: what’s the composition of that clear plastic bottle that your bottled water is in? That bottle is made out of polyethylene terephthalate, a substance which mimics the action of female hormones. The result of drinking water out of clear plastic bottles is not only lower sperm counts and brittle bones, but diminished motivation and drive. That effect is seen only in boys, not in girls. Recent studies which I cite in the book show that endocrine disruptors lead to derangement of the motivational system in boys, but not in girls. (In girls, these same substances accelerate the onset of puberty, and may increase the risk of breast cancer later in life.)

5) The decline and disintegration of the masculine ideal. Forty years ago, popular evening TV shows included Father Knows Best and My Three Sons. Twenty years ago, The Cosby Show was a leading sitcom. Today, the most successful evening comedy show is The Simpsons. We’ve gone from Father Knows Best to Homer Simpson in a little more than one generation. I don’t believe that these shows caused the change in the way that men are viewed in our culture, but I do think that television and other aspects of popular culture reflect changing views of masculinity. Today, a boy doesn’t get much constructive guidance about what it means to be “a real man.” He can choose between boobs like Homer Simpson or slackers like the Matthew McConaughey character in Failure to Launch, or he can choose a thug or a bully as his role model – such as the personae portrayed by male pop stars Akon, 50 Cent and Eminem.

Together, these five factors have created a perfect storm whose net result is the disengagement of American boys and young men not only from school but from life. In May 2007, the Pew Centers reported that 32% of American women have earned a college degree by the age of 35, while only 23% of America men have done so. That gender gap is growing rapidly. Some experts forecast that within ten years, 40% of American women under 35 will have earned a college degree, while only 20% of American men in the same age group will have done so. We will have a 2-to-1 ratio. That’s a situation in which many young women will have to choose between marrying a less-educated man or not marrying at all. I present evidence that those women are already deciding that marriage is not a wise choice for them. The net result is likely to be a plunging birth rate similar to what is already being seen in Japan, and the continued emergence of a society in which more and more young men live as “slackers”, partly or wholly dependent on parents or other relatives well into their 30’s.

This extremely brief summary does considerable violence to the evidentiary basis linking these five factors to the disengagement of American boys from school and from the real world. I hope you will take the time to look at my book, Boys Adrift (more information online at www.BoysAdrift.com). My book includes more than 400 scholarly references demonstrating the linkage – as well as concrete and practical strategies which parents and teachers can use to get these boys back on track. ~ Leonard Sax, MD, PhD

Why We Are Thankful This Christmas

2009-12-21T09:36:00.000-08:00

Written by: Alicia

Life has sure thrown a few curve balls for my family this year. We lost our business, my husband fought for his life this summer and a few weeks after he was released from the hospital we moved out of state.

Needless to say, it has been an emotionally overwhelming year. The beginning of this year we fought to keep our business alive but eventually joined the long list of victims to this economy. Our next battle started in the middle of the year: My husband's health had been failing for years but we didn't know it. One day changed everything. He couldn't break a fever for over one week and he finally let me take him to the ER. He was becoming septic. This meant his body was filling up with toxins and his condition was considered to be likely fatal.

I can't tell you how helpless a wife feels when a doctor says, "These antibiotics have to work or else your husband will not make it." I remained positive for my husband and watched him win that battle. Then we moved onto the next battle: Because the antibiotics worked he was then considered healthy enough to have surgery. He went through surgery but spent an extra week in ICU. His body was not recovering as it should have.

I was told, "We have to give him a blood transfusion now." His health was failing again. I watched as they carried in a bag with a stranger's blood in it into his room. They hooked up the bag, connected the tubing and I prayed as I watched every ounce of blood travel through that tube and flow into his arm. I was praying it was healthy blood that would help his body recover.

He did recover and was finally put in a regular room. A few weeks after that they diagnosed him with a serious staph infection. This again, was considered deadly and I was told they need to find the right mix of antibiotics to help his body fight this off. He won that battle too. My husband now jokes, "Nothing can kill me."

It was hard to watch him lose his muscle tone, his coloring and to see black circles under his eyes. He looked so frail to me. However, he never lost his inner strength. My husband is a true fighter. He never gives up easily and certainly not without a fight. His battle is still continuing but I hope this new year brings him good health again.

So, with the business failing and then my husband's health failing; what else was going to hit us? A major move. It was hard for me physically and mentally. With my husband as sick as he was, it was up to me to pack and move everything. I think I allowed myself to break down and have a few major cries; they happened in my car when I was alone and could finally take a break to absorb what was happening. Other than that I kept it together pretty well. Although one day Gina asked me a basic question, "Are you okay?" I really wanted to hold it together but I could not. She gave me a hug and I just sobbed. I learned you can only stay strong for so long and then you need to lean on someone.

So moving day finally came. It was heartbreaking and relieving at the same time. We were moving to a place where my husband could recover but also to a place where our family would have to start over. I am still very sad about having to move from my friends and from the fun things we used to do in Los Angeles. However, I feel more sadness for my kids. As a child I moved around a lot. I know what it feels like to make friends then have to move away.

It is hard having my kids ask me, "Can we go see our best friends, Mommy?" My triplets are only four and don't fully understand why we can't drive over to play with Gina's twins. I think at one time Gina and I both envisioned our kids growing up together and now they are a state apart. It is a very sad reality.

It is hard to accept that my life has taken such major turns this year. This is certainly not as we had envisioned where our lives would go at the beginning of this year. It is crazy to think about how fast life can change on you and take you in a direction you never thought about. I know everything happens for a reason and it will be interesting to see what comes out of this move.

Through all of the drama this year one thing has stayed steady for me; love from friends and family. I have been amazed at the out pour of support. From Gina sitting with me while my husband had his first major surgery; to another friend who opened her house to me and my family. From Natalie who was always there on the other end of the line when I needed her; to my sister who surprised me one day with a visit from Ohio. From my parents flying out to take care of my kids so I could be at the hospital with my husband; to a friend who collected money from her friends to help out my family. From my husband's mom who has given us a house to live in and to the grace of God who gave him another chance at life.

My life became very vulnerable this year. Because of these experiences I have learned just how valuable your own personal inner strength can be. I learned that I had to believe in myself and that I could make it through everything being thrown at me. I had to stay strong for my husband and for my children. I quickly realized I was in the driver's seat, hauling my family behind me. Everyone was counting on me. There was no time to feel sorry for myself. I knew I would sit back and reflect on this year at one point but then was not the time to do so.

Before the new year arrives, I want to fully absorb every battle that occurred this year. I also want to take time to thank everyone that was there for me and my family. We made it through because of your love and support. I never felt alone in these battles and I cannot adequately explain how appreciative I am of that fact.

The Christmas spirit is alive and well in our house this year. We have painfully been reminded that life can end suddenly and to appreciate the relationships we have. We will rebuild our business, rebuild our lives and we will never forget those that reached out to help us.

We are thankful for our kids, for our family and friends. Although I debated if I should share such intimate details about my life on this blog for anyone to read, I decided to go ahead because life can change very quickly for anyone. It is important to never think certain things can never happen to you...because they can. And if they ever do, I hope you have family and wonderful friends like I have who never judge but always ask, "Are you okay?"

Merry Christmas,
Alicia

http://friendinreach.blogspot.com/

Acts Of Kindness

2009-12-06T19:11:00.000-08:00

Written By: Gina

At a time when our economy is a major topic of discussion, I wanted to share some really nice stories about giving. I got the first story from one of the last places I would expect- the NFL. Some of you know how I feel about football because of my husband’s obsession with Fantasy Football, but this is one of the nicest gestures I have heard about in a while. My new favorite NFL player is Josh Cribbs. He has his head- and his heart, in the right place.

“Sun Nov 15, 2009 12:34 pm EST
Josh Cribbs walks with late coach's son on his senior night..."
By Chris Chase

In a dismal year for the Cleveland Browns, wide receiver/returner Josh Cribbs has proved to be one of the only bright spots. Last month he showed he's equally good off the field.

The Pro Bowler traveled to Berea, OH to walk onto the field on senior night with the son of one of his former college coaches. Michael Drake, a senior receiver at Stow High School, lost his father, Mike, in 2005 to lymphoma. He had assumed he'd be accompanied by his mother and sister for senior night introductions and was stunned when he saw Cribbs arrive minutes before the game. ''I looked, then looked away, then said, 'Why are you here?''' Michael recalled. ''I was shocked.'' A receiver, cornerback and holder for extra points, Michael said Cribbs offered advice before his final game. ''He said, 'Play your heart out. This is it. Give it your all. Don't ever stop on any play. Keep pushing,''' Michael said. ''I almost felt worried. I didn't want to look bad for him.''

Michael's late father recruited Cribbs to play at Kent State and served as a father figure to the Washington, D.C. native during his time at Kent. Mike Drake was the offensive coordinator for the Golden Flashes during Cribbs's freshman and sophomore seasons. Cribbs played quarterback in college and credits Drake for helping him drive home the fundamentals that he still uses today. So, when the idea of returning for senior night was pitched to Cribbs this summer, he didn't hesitate.

It's a small gesture, but it says a lot about the character of Cribbs. He apparently didn't feel the need to talk about it publicly; this happened Oct. 30 and, as far as I can tell, yesterday's report in the Akron Beacon Journal is the first it's been mentioned. Similarly, Drake's mother is quoted in the piece as saying that Cribbs took great pains to underplay his presence at the game for fear of taking away the spotlight from Michael and the other seniors. This shows a humility that other professional football players could sometimes stand to emulate.”

This motivated me to look up more stories of similar kindness and I repeatedly came up with another favorite celebrity- Shaquille O’Neal. There is a lot of media coverage on the charitable acts done by Brad & Angelina, Bono, the late Paul Newman, George Clooney and Oprah. In no way do I want to diminish their efforts and generosity in giving both their time and money to charitable foundations. I have met Shaquille in person though, and his kindness and personality make me like him that much more.

For example, Shaq used to host an event for inner city kids at Universal Studios when I worked there. He would spend the day hanging out with the kids- playing ball with them, eating with them and talking to them. He could have very easily completed his photo opportunities and hid in his private green room but he didn’t. His mom even came with him to these events! Shaquille is involved in so many charities it’s hard to list them all but I can share how he has touched me, personally.

I once waited for him outside his green room at an event and asked him to sign one of his very rare college rookie cards for my husband. He asked, “Are you sure you want me to sign this and ruin the value? You could probably turn this in and make a couple bucks off it ($400 to be exact)?” I told him the value for my husband was having his signature. He just chuckled and signed the card. He had no pretense and no attitude- he just wanted to make sure I knew the monetary value of the card. He didn’t have to care but he did.

I heard years later from my dad that Shaquille often stayed at some of the hotels my dad played events at. Shaquille used to tell my dad he loved the music and would engage in conversations with him to the point where they struck up a friendship. When Shaq sees my dad, he makes sure to say hello. The best part is that my dad once told Shaq that my brother was a basketball coach so Shaq called my brother on my dad’s cell to talk to him about it! Isn’t that the coolest thing ever? Again- I was touched by how personable and humble Shaquille is.

Tobey Maguire:
“From indie darling to international blockbuster icon, Tobey Maguire is no ordinary young thirty-something star. Despite being the face of one of the most beloved superheroes brought to life from comic book to silver screen, Maguire has found time to support environmentally friendly organizations such as the National Resources Defense Council and Heal the Bay. Maguire is also a long-time vegan who supports cruelty-free animal living. He recently swore off leather and even ordered a non-leather interior for his new car. Of course, we would have no problem living a leather-free life if we could afford a custom designed car!” www.ugo.com/ms/charitable-celebrities

Johnny Depp:
“It’s a good week for children’s hospitals. Yesterday the Gossip Girls reported that Johnny Depp plunked down $2 million for the facility that treated his daughter last year, and now Kylie Minogue has reportedly done a little humanitarian work at an Aussie hospital. The “Locomotion” singer stopped by a center for seriously ill kids in Sydney to pay a visit and raise spirits earlier this week. And from all accounts, her presence did a lot to brighten the day. A spokeswoman for Minogue told press, “Kids who hadn’t smiled in ages had a smile on their face as soon as they saw her. Kids who hadn’t smiled in ages had a smile on their face as soon as they saw her.” Herself, no stranger to hospital stays (she battled and overcame breast cancer), Kylie said that it was the least she could do before jetting off to Los Angeles to begin promoting her new album and tour. celebrity-gossip.net

“Denzel Washington gives $1 million to debate team"
Denzel Washington, director and star of the Golden Globe-nominated The Great Debaters, is donating $1 million to Wiley College to re-establish the debate team portrayed in the film. Washington plays educator and poet Melvin Tolson, who mentored the all-black college's elite debate squad in the 1930s. During an appearance in Marshall, Tex., last week, Washington, 52, said he would like to see the team brought back.” –Karen Salkin

“Bob Barker donates $3m to help injured troops"
Posted by admin in Celebrity Good Deeds, Celebrity Gossip, Television on 10 7th, 2009
A television staple for more than three decades, The New Price is Right host, Bob Barker has just donated $3-million to help injured victims of Americas ongoing wars. A former World War II naval pilot himself, the 84-year old host made his worthy donation to help build a new hospital in Bethesda, Maryland, dedicated to serving the medical needs of more than 300,000 military personnel who have suffered major brain trauma in the ongoing wars. And that number increases with each passing day. Having made his TV debut in the grainy, monochrome days of June 1950, Bob told reporters at Fox that he felt driven to make the donation because of his own naval service, and his wish to help others in his well-earned retirement. Due to be opened next year, right next to the new Walter Reed Center, the new $60-million, 72,000 square-foot facility will become the nations foremost facility for the research, diagnosis and treatment of this awful affliction.”

The reason I am sharing these stories is because I did not read about them in the mainstream media- these celebrities did not make a federal production about their gesture if kindness and neither did those around them. These celebs just did these good deeds because for them, it was the right thing to do. Stories like this really mean something because it is not about the hype or the accolades from adoring fans, it is about how it makes them feel by giving to others.

This holiday season, I have made it a personal goal to remember what is important to me as well. It’s not the material things- it really is the smile I see on my children’s faces and the real love and warmth of the holidays. People are nicer to each other and selfishness seems to fade a bit. My family has been “adopting” a family in need for years. We buy presents, food, and clothing and deliver it to a family just before Christmas. I am asking that each of you, if you are able, to go to your nearest food pantry, mission, or shelter and adopt a family this season. My family has been blessed with so much that we feel the need to pay it forward.

Happy Holidays!
Gina

Marketing to Kids ~ Frustrating to Parents

2009-11-29T09:31:00.000-08:00

Written by: Alicia

I have been able to ignore the candy at the checkout aisles, the little flashlights that hang there and the deck of cards too. Those last minute, forgot I needed but have to have, items have never really tempted me.

I have been in the marketing field for well over a decade now. My specialty is grabbing a hold of a wonderful product, researching my target market and then hitting that target market with full force. This has been a career for me that I love.

However, I am getting pretty upset with some fellow marketeers. I am referring to some marketeers that market to kids. One area I will pick on today is the checkout aisle. I can no longer stand this sale tactic. It is easy for me to ignore the impulse buys in that location but my kids have a harder time.

The other day my family and I stopped at Wal-Mart to get some blueberries because they were only $1.88 for an 11 oz container (a great buy)! As you know blueberries are high in antioxidants and a great way to boost your immune system. But, I am going off track. So, we grabbed tons of blueberries and headed to the checkout.

While waiting in line the impulse war began. My three kids started grabbing every toy in site. Of course, every toy was at their eye level so good job to the marketing people who set that up. Two of my kids were pretty understanding when we kept telling them to put the toy back and "No. We will not buy that for you today." However, one of my kids had a huge fit.

She is addicted to princess toys. She was holding onto a Sleeping Beauty doll from Disney. Her knuckles were turning white because she was not willing to let go of that toy. The crocodile tears started coming. I was trying everything. I said, "Christmas is coming, we will put this toy on your list to give to Santa." That didn't work. I then said, "Your birthday is next week, you can get this toy for your birthday but you have to put it down right now." That didn't work. I then started on the negative path, "If you don't put this toy down right now you will go straight to bed when we get home." That didn't work.

I had to pry her hands open, grab the toy and carry her out of the store with her crying and begging for me to put her down. I had everyone looking at me in the store and I am certain a few of them probably thought I was kidnapping her. It was such a frustrating situation.

During the failed negotiation phase at the checkout aisle another mother was standing behind me and said, "I never look forward to going through checkouts with my kids." That is when it hit me that this marketing tactic is hurtful to kids AND parents. Everyone loses. The kid does not get the toy they want and the parent is made to feel embarrassed or sad that they cannot give their child that toy. Maybe the parent doesn't have the money to buy their child that toy or maybe they do have the money but are trying to teach their child the value of money. The marketing behind this is based on cruelty; to put it bluntly. They are riding on the emotions between a child and parent to sell a toy.

I did not go the store to buy my daughter Sleeping Beauty. However, just because that toy was in the checkout aisle I was now faced with a dilemma; do I buy her that toy or do I stand my ground. If I buy her that toy I will then have to buy my other two a toy. If I buy them toys in the checkout aisle they will want me to do the same ever single time I take them shopping. My husband and I decided to nip this in the bud right away and stick to our guns; no toys in the checkout aisle.

As some of you know, my daughter was once considered autistic. Because of that experience I look at the world differently; even though she no longer has this diagnosis. It has to be extremely hard to take a developmentally challenged child through a checkout. So many of these kids will most likely grab a toy and not want to let it go. The parent is then forced to buy the toy or else take the toy away and this could mean an hour or two hour fit. Does this fit seem like a long time? It is realistic. My daughter would scream and kick for an hour if we simply changed the direction we were walking and she was not prepared for the change.

My family walked into the store in a great mood that day; ready to stock up on fruit. We left with two sad kids, one crying and screaming kid and two highly frustrated parents. I don't like to be forced into buying a toy to save myself from the embarrassment of a screaming child. And, I certainly don't like the idea of anyone marketing to my child. If you want me to buy your toy for my kid, then market to me. Do not use my child against me.

I understand I need to teach my children that they cannot have everything they see and want. But, must I really be forced into teaching them this lesson every time I go into a store?

I fully understand the marketing behind this tactic. I used to work for a magazine distribution company and I designed the layout of how magazines were displayed at checkouts. I know how much money can be made at a single checkout location. However, I hope stores will consider being more ethical in their selling procedures and stop marketing to children in the checkout aisle. This marketing tactic can make for a very unpleasant shopping experience for the children and parents. I don't think these stores want you to leave with a negative impression but that is exactly how we left the other day.

Anyone want to start a petition?

Happy Shopping,

Alicia

http://friendinreach.blogspot.com/

The Difference A Mother Can Make In Her Child

2009-11-23T00:00:00.000-08:00

by Natalie

Today, my daughter broke down in tears as she explained why she was behaving the way she was while playing with her brothers. She was frustrated, and desired girl time,a daily companion like her brothers have with each other as boys. You see, she is sandwiched between her brothers, and at times feels the need to fight for her position during playtime. Being the only girl in the house is tough. She wants to do girly things sometimes, and when her brothers don’t want to do it she feels left out, alone, like a misfit. I have compassion about this. My husband grew up with only boys. I grew up the eldest of two sisters and three brothers. I can only imagine what she feels sometimes.

Sometimes she can convince her little brother to dress up in a dress for humor, or a suit to be her dance partner. Big brother cringes at the sight of his brother in a ballet dress. So does dad. I just laugh because I know my youngster is enjoying watching them flip like fish out of water as he dances and sings like a girl before them. He even leaps higher as they beg him to change his clothes. I guess big sis is lucky that way though, that her little brother understands her emotional need and wants to fulfill it by sporting it out for her. What a sweet brother.

We occasionally have neighbor friends come down to play, but they don’t really care about my daughter. It is usually about them. They mistreat her often, and that frustrates me as a mother. One girl punched my daughter in the face because she simply tried to encourage the girl to walk away and not let a boy mistreat her. When I caught wind of that I wasted no time addressing it. I told the girl, “Do you understand what my daughter was trying to do for you? We have taught her that she needs to stand up for herself, make boundaries, and walk away when someone is mistreating her. She was trying to be a true friend to you and encourage you to do the same thing! She saw you were being mistreated. She cares about you, and when she tries to defend you, YOU HIT HER IN THE FACE? I will not tolerate anyone hitting my daughter, do you understand?"

Initially, the girl denied hitting her in the face. I told her, “My daughter doesn't make things like this up. You crushed her and broke her heart. You don’t treat people like that. It is wrong, mean,uncool! You should be ashamed of yourself for doing something like that to a person who was trying defend you and stand up for you.”

She was quiet.

“I don’t want to ever learn you hit my daughter again. The same I would expect her to not hit you. Do you understand what I am saying? You don’t deserve my daughter as a friend if you are going to hurt her like that. I won't let her play with you if you are going to treat her like that. Do you understand? "

“Yes, mam.”

I have had a lot of heart to heart talks with my daughter, how to make boundaries of respect for herself so people know mistreating her is not okay. I also want her to realize in no way shape or form is she to tolerate or accept the lie that she is deserving of being mistreated. I want her to be able to stand tall and take courage, speak up, and stand up for her health and safety whether it would be an adult or child abusing her. I am so glad she listens to that counsel.

Today, she began to cry really hard, as she reflected on how she has so many friends that she feels are not real friends. She reviewed the way they have treated her. I tried to explain to her that most people in our lives will not be the kind of friend you can count on. Those type of friends are special and rare. That is how we know who our friends are, because of the way they treat us, care about us, love us, and buiild us up. They don't tare us down or use us like other people. Real friends' motives are genuine, unselfish, and thoughtful. Those friends are the ones we thank God for, and we do all we can to keep.

As she spoke her thoughts about things I began to realize it wasn’t her peers she really wanted right now. What she wanted was her mom’s friendship she has been vocally asking for in the midst of the busyness. She doesn’t want to hear, ‘Go play, honey,” when she asks me if she can cook with me, sew with me, do laundry with me, or just be with me. She wants to hear me say, ‘Sure.” She doesn’t want me to say, “We will do it tomorrow,” when she asks if we can have mommy and daughter time, just she and I today? Her soul was pleading for a refill, and I knew it was time to stop what I was doing to meet that need.

I first cuddled with her on her bed and just began to rub her head as I reached to encourage her hurting heart. I told her that making good friends, who are real friends, takes time. She made two special friends in Ohio, where we used to live, and she misses them very much. We have only been in our new state a little over a year. She has got acquainted with two very nice girls here too, but we have to really work with schedules to get them together. Neighbor girls come and go as they wish, and she’d prefer the nice girls coming over so often versus the mean ones. I don’t blame her.

I told her real friends are special, the ones you can count on to be beside you through the toughest of times. They watch out for you, defend you, shield you, and speak highly of you even when you are not around. They encourage you and build you up when you are down. They are not bossy, don't physically hurt you, or try to control you either (as a few of her playmates have been with her).

I asked God to help me know how to comfort my daughter’s soul, and heal the brokenness inside, then began to sing a favorite song of hers, “Jesus Loves Me.” Our kids love that song, and as I sang it I could see her spirit strengthen. It was like God had come in and just began to wrap His strong arms around her and I both. Who wants to see their child go through this? Then, I felt this conviction even more. Sometimes my daughter is asking me to stop being mom for a little while just to be her friend. Kids always want to be with their role models, the ones they admire and look up to. And, how privileged I am that she desires to be with me. I am the one she wants to be like. She tells me that all the time. She wants to dress in my clothes, sneak into my make-up, put my shoes on, do each other’s hair and nails. She wants to read together, cook together, ride bikes together, and take a walk alone with me. And in those times when I do stop to be just a friend to my little girl, she walks on cloud 9, grabs my arm tight and hugs me like I gave her the most prized thing I could ever give her. And, for her, it is.

I thought about all of this, and felt like God was having a heart to heart session with me. More than toys, more than peers, she wants me to be her best friend. I have an opportunity to be something other than task oriented in her life. I have an opportunity to bask her with everything she needs to be the most joyful girl on the planet.

Do you know I read an article that interviewed kids on what they wanted and needed the most? Was it the most popular toys they saw on TV, more cable time, more friends, or more quality time and companionship with their parents? All of them gave the same answer, “more quality time and companionship with their parents.” When they were asked why they told the interviewer that toys left them feeling empty, friends were nice to have, but who they wanted the most time with was their mom and dad. And, mom and dad are always busy.

As I pulled out a storybook, “Clementine”, my daughter perked up, her eyes all bright-eyed with anticipation.

“You know how you have just been wanting some mommy and girl time with me?”

“Yeah…”

“Well, we are going to do that right now.”

She sat up, all puffy eyed and red nosed with excitement, “I am going to grab my blanky so I can get comfortable and cuddle with you!”

I forgot the world around me, and told it to be silent, because I was going to spend time with my little girl, my precious little girl I love with all my heart. I was going to cancel all my appointments of life’s demands and erase my schedule book to pen her in with permanent marker. This was precious time, sacred time, and I was letting nothing get between my little girl and I. I shut her bedroom door, nestled beside her on her bed, our heads leaned up against each other's, and began to read the story, “Clementine.” It is about a little girl that sees the world differently. She is told she is missing the details when she is really seeing all the details around her everyone else is missing. She lives with a different perspective, and when I began to read the pages of that book I thought of my daughter. It reminded me so much of her.

I chuckled, and giggled…just a little as I thanked God for my little girl’s desire to be with me. I thanked Him that she looks up to me, admires my every step, to the point she wants to be with me and be like me. How precious! And, how I need to hold that sacred.

After I got done reading two chapters, I promised her I’d make an appointment to just have time with her regularly to just to have ‘our time’ and have fun together. She perked. Then I picked up that devotional book, she has been begging me to read to her, then read her some more stories to pick her spirit up. When we were done she sat straight up from her bed with a grin curled up on her face to the point her cheeks turned into apples. Her eyes glistened like glitter, and her pale complexion was no more. Her rosy, joyful personality was back!Her sould finally felt full again!

I told her, “Sweetie, I will always and forever be your friend. I love you.” She was so happy that she got that time with me she couldn’t even speak. She just kept sighing with a big grin, like she had been floating in her most favorite place in the world. Rejuvenated, she kept looking at me with a look that is forever engraved into my memory! I asked her, “Why do you keep sighing like that? “ It like a sigh of relief.

She said, “Because, I am just so happy. Thank you Mommy. I love you.”

She began to talk at high speed, share her thoughts, her ideas, and then when she was finished was ready to go and face the day. Her confidence boosted, her sense of peace completely filled, she hopped off her bed with a zip in her step. Actually, a leap! And, the joy in her heart lasted all day long! She didn’t fight with her brothers. She didn’t find things to argue about. The negativity and insecurity was gone. What a difference a parent can make in her child's heart. Her need had been met. She was full again.

Can I tell you spending that time with my daughter made me feel alive again? It was invigorating to tell the noisy demands of life to "Shut Up” so I could spend quality time with my daughter. It was fulfilling to just enjoy her without the laundry screaming my name, the dishes clanking in my head, or the bills giving me guilt trips. They will be there when I get back, but my little girl will only be little for so long. And, I am not guaranteed the number of days I have her. I pray for many long years, however. But, while I have her I am going to ENJOY every moment I have to be with her.

I am going to shut the world out from now on to embrace what she and I ‘both’ need, “Mommy and girl time”…just she and I talking, cooking, sewing, giggling, nestling together, walking, dreaming, singing, reading, growing, dreaming, as friends.

Natalie

http://friendinreach.blogspot.com

Be Safe!

2009-11-17T11:02:00.000-08:00

Written By: Gina

I wanted to share a story about a friend of mine on Facebook. He is one of the nicest and most giving guys I know but unfortunately, he experienced a life-threatening situation the other night. This guy is educated, smart and has devoted his life to giving back. In his words: “I was sitting in a driveway in Atladena with a friend, two men, one with a shotgun pointed at my face robbed us. I'm safe, my friend is safe... Praise God. We were sitting there talking, and we were waiting for the other person to get home and let us in.. And so we were just sitting in the driveway in the car and there was a loud knock at my car window. I thought it was our friend trying to scare us and I look over and there's a shotgun pointed at me. [He] told me to get out of the car and so I did... I'm doing better.. Still can't believe it happened, but the whole shock has worn off. It's just maddening to know this punk kid had the power to end my life. Very frustrating.”

I wanted to share this story to remind everyone to be safe. I needed this reminder as well. I can’t tell you how many times I have left my car and house keys on a store counter or how many times it has taken me more than 10 minutes to get myself and the kids into the car. I know this happened here in Los Angeles, but this can happen anywhere. We are living in desperate times. I am so grateful that my friend is OK. I cannot imagine what it feels like to have a gun pointed at your head. I have had a gun pointed at me on the freeway and that was bad enough! Telling you about this story is my attempt to take this unfortunate situation and share it as a beneficial reminder to us all.

I am sure some of you have received an email that perpetually goes around about being safe at a gas station if someone approaches you and/or how to protect yourself when getting into your car at a mall or in a large parking lot.

If you will be alone at night in a parking lot or somewhere similar:
• Charge Your cell phone and bring a flashlight.
• Pick the safest parking space- one that has good lighting and park where the traffic is busiest so someone can assist you if you need help.
• Arrange the inside of your car for easy visibility. Large and tall packages can block visibility.
• Know who you're going to call if someone suspicious is lurking, and what you are going to say. Have emergency numbers stored in your phone.
• Be aware of your surroundings. Be cautious of large vehicles or vans parked next to you and check to see if anyone is sitting in it.
• Look around your car before approaching it.
• Look into the back seat before getting into the car.
• Once you decide it's safe to get in the car, get in quickly and lock the doors.
• If you have an alarm system on your car, know how to activate the horn if you are in danger.
• If you do not have a cell phone, mace or other means of protection, walk with your keys between your fingers.
• You can always ask Security to escort you to your car.

These safety guidelines are from my local Sheriff’s Office:
Top Shopping Safety Tips:
1. Shop during daylight hours whenever possible. If you must shop at night, park in a well lighted area, go with a friend or family member and ensure that you tell someone where you are going and when you intend to return.
2. Try to shop when it is less crowded.
3. Dress casually and comfortably. Reducing stress during shopping can increase your awareness and safety.
4. Avoid wearing expensive jewelry if possible. Save it for your family gathering.
5. Don't carry a purse or wallet if possible.
6. Always carry your California Driver License or an Identification Card.
7. Stay alert to your surroundings and always be ready to provide your location.
8. Always carry a cell phone and have local emergency numbers available.
9. Avoid carrying large amounts of cash.
10. Avoid carrying large or bulky items. Ask for help from a trusted source.
11. Pay for purchases with a check, credit or debit card when possible.
12. Keep cash or wallets in your front pocket.
13. Keep your credit account information and phone numbers in a safe place and immediately report any lost, stolen or misused cards.
14. Make sure you keep an eye on your credit card when it is being processed and make sure you get it back after the transaction.
15. ALWAYS keep an eye on your children or if possible leave them at home with a responsible adult. If you must bring them, have another adult with you who can watch them while you are conducting a transaction.
16. Teach children to stay by you and what to do if they lose sight of you.
17. Be prepared to provide complete information about your children to law enforcement in the event of an emergency.
18. Immediately report any suspicious activity.
Getting Money:
While using an ATM machine during the holidays you should be extra alert:
• Use them during daylight hours if possible. If not, pick a well lighted and populated area.
• Use machines in populated areas at all times.
• Have a friend or family member with you.
• Protect your personal identification number (PIN).
• Make sure it does not appear that the ATM machine has been tampered with.
• Be aware of your surroundings and look around for anyone acting suspiciously at or near the machine before you use it.
• Never help others at the ATM machine.
• Be prepared to make your transaction. Do not stand at the machine figuring out deposits.
Parking:
• Park in well lighted areas and as close to the establishment as possible.
• Make note of where you parked your vehicle.
• Walk with a friend or relative.
• Ask for a security escort to your car if you feel unsafe or it is a late hour.
• Leave with large "friendly" groups.
• Lock your vehicle.
• Keep all valuables, including items you just purchased, out of view. Use your trunk if possible.
• Have your keys in your hand before you leave the store.
Parties or Social Gatherings:
• Plan carefully and well in advance.
• Celebrate responsibly.
• If you drink alcoholic beverages - Always have a designated driver or make arrangements to stay where you are at.
• Avoid celebrating with gunfire at anytime.

And the best advice if you are approached by someone armed (or not) is to give them what they want. Items such as your car, phone or wallet are not worth your safety or your life. Please stay safe this holiday season and take the extra couple of minutes to make sure you have a plan and can react to any situation to keep yourself and your family members safe!

Gina

H1N1: The "Feardemic"

2009-11-08T03:00:00.000-08:00

Written by: Alicia

"So far, the virus does not seem to sicken or kill people more often than the typical flu...Although it remains unclear how frequently the virus makes people seriously ill, recent reports from Mexico, Canada, the United States, Australia and New Zealand indicate that perhaps 1 percent of patients who get infected require hospitalization." (Source: CBS News. October 17, 2009).

It has been well known for a few months now that 99% of the people who get the H1N1 flu will feel like they are experiencing a "typical" flu and recover just fine.

I certainly do not want to ignore the pain of the family members who have lost someone to the H1N1 flu. I don't think the flu is anything to look at lightly; considering my son has severe virus-induced asthma and had to be hooked up to a mechanical ventilator after his second birthday.

With that said, I still feel the H1N1 pandemic has turned somewhat into a "Feardemic." I already can't sleep at night if my three year old son has a common cold. Now, with all of this fear in the air about the H1N1 flu it has made me really want to take a closer look at this pandemic.

As with anything, we must look at our history first. So, I started looking into previous H1N1 pandemics. In 1918, 500 million people were infected by the H1N1 and 50 million of them died. The CDC still does not fully understand why this flu pandemic was so deadly. They have learned that it most likely came in three waves. The first wave of the flu was not too serious. However, the second and third waves killed millions. Therefore, the CDC feels the virus must have mutated and quickly spread throughout the world. This event was said to happen in less than one year.

So far, the good news is, our current H1N1 virus has not mutated.

The second scare for this strain of flu occurred in 1976. A soldier at Fort Dix died and was diagnosed with H1N1. I believe this is where the first "Feardemic" took place in regards to this flu. The fear from the 1918 pandemic sent everyone into a panic to hurry and get vaccinated. Turns out 25 people died from the vaccine and some 400 people were paralyzed. The original soldier that died from a confirmed case was the only one who had it.

60 Minutes correspondent, Scott Pelley did some investigating on the production of the H1N1 vaccine and I pulled the following quotes from his investigation.

"What was the problem in 1976?" Pelley asked Dr. Bruce Gellin, the director of the federal vaccine program. "Forty million doses of vaccines were given. And about 400 people developed something called 'Guillain-Barre Syndrome,' which is a paralysis which starts at your toes and can work its way up where your nervous system is affected. And some people died from that," he explained.

"Four hundred people out of 40 million came down with Guillain-Barre Syndrome? How do you know the same thing's not gonna happen now?" Pelley asked.

"Well, we have looked at this over time and we've looked, year to year and not seen Guillain-Barre," Gellin said. "We don't really know what went wrong with the vaccine in 1976. That's not well understood."

Our federal vaccine department cannot explain why the last vaccine hurt so many, once healthy, people. I would at least feel better if they knew what happened and then ensured us that they made the correction. Not to sound too cynical but, the manufactures say to not worry because they have tested the vaccine on a few thousand healthy people for a few weeks.

Anyone worried about long-term effects? Want information on it? There isn't any.

Some interesting information from the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) is: “Currently, no U.S. licensed vaccine contains the adjuvants MF-59 or ASO3. It is expected that a novel influenza A (H1N1) vaccine manufactured using the same process as U.S. licensed seasonal inactivated influenza vaccine but administered with MF-59 or ASO3 will be authorized for emergency use only.”

As you must know, we are currently under an emergency for this flu season.

First off, why adjuvants? Adjuvants bolster the body’s immune response to a pathogen; therefore a smaller amount of antigen is required to trigger protective immunity.

Here is a little more on MF59: MF59 is a sub-micron oil-in-water emulsion of a squalene. Squalene is a natural organic compound originally obtained from shark liver oil and a biochemical precursor to steroids. Ever heard of the Gulf War Syndrome? It is said that many of our soldiers were guinea pigs. The military secretly added squalene to the Anthrax vaccine. Thousands of soldiers who were given this vaccine have since developed disabling auto-immune diseases. Independent researchers have found squalene antibodies in these sick soldiers. [1]

I have read a multitude of reports all debating back and forth that MF59 was not added to the Anthrax vaccine and other reports proving that it had to have been added. Some reports say the soldiers were exposed to squalene from the chemical warfare occurring overseas while other studies prove soldiers who received the Anthrax vaccine, but were never deployed overseas, suffered the same affects. Unless you really want to dig deep into this debate it looks like a he said / she said situation. Therefore, you just have to make up your own mind on this one.

What I find most disturbing is the amount of pregnant women I see on television, waiting in line to get their shot. I hope they are reading the package inserts enclosed with every vaccine.

If not, I did the reading for you. Below is information I collected from the FDA. I looked at the four manufacturers of the H1N1 vaccines and did some quick recaps with very important information you may not have known. If you decide to get vaccinated, you should learn about all four of the vaccines mentioned below to ensure you are getting the right one. I saw on the news a few days ago that some children were given adult doses. If you choose to give this vaccine to your child, check the vial before they administer it.

***First off, everyone must know this: Because the H1N1 virus is harvested in eggs, make sure your child does not have an egg allergy before getting this vaccine.

Vaccine #1: Influenza A (H1N1) 2009 Monovalent Vaccine (Injection)
Manufacturer: Sanofi Pasteur, Inc.

This is an inactivated influenza virus vaccine indicated for active immunization of persons 6 months of age and older.
It has not been evaluated for carcinogenic or mutagenic potential, or for impairment of fertility.
Multi-dose vials contain thimerosal, a mercury derivative. Single-dose vials do not.
Concurrent administration with the measles, mumps and rubella vaccine and the varicella vaccine has not been studied. If your baby has other vaccines coming up, talk to your doctor about the possible dangers (although they won’t know because there are no studies…but at least I feel better saying that). I would at least suggest a long delay in-between vaccinations.
Studies have not been conducted to test if this vaccine can cause fetal harm when administered to a pregnant woman or if it can affect reproduction capacity.

Vaccine #2: Influenza A (H1N1) 2009 Monovalent Vaccine Live (Intranasal)Manufacturer: MedImmune LLC

This Live, Intranasal vaccine is indicated for the active immunization of individuals 2-49 years of age.
Studies have not been conducted to test if this vaccine can cause fetal harm when administered to a pregnant woman or if it can affect reproduction capacity.
It has not been evaluated for carcinogenic or mutagenic potential, or potential to impair fertility.
Asthma concern: Influenza A (H1N1) 2009 Monovalent Vaccine Live, Intranasal should not be administered to any individuals with asthma or children under 5 years of age with recurrent wheezing because of the potential for increased risk of wheezing post vaccination.
For those parents who have delayed the MMR shot, you should know concurrent administration with the measles, mumps and rubella vaccine and the varicella vaccine has not been studied.
Thimerosal, a mercury derivative, is NOT used in the manufacturing process for this formulation.

Vaccine #3: Influenza A (H1N1) 2009 Monovalent Vaccine (Injection)
Manufacturer: Novartis Vaccines and Diagnostics Limited

This is an inactivated influenza virus vaccine indicated for active immunization of persons 4 years of age and older.
There have been no studies done to see if this vaccine is safe to take with other vaccinations.
Studies have not been conducted to test if this vaccine can cause fetal harm when administered to a pregnant woman or if it can affect reproduction capacity.
It has not been evaluated for carcinogenic or mutagenic potential, or for impairment of fertility.
All vials contain thimerosal, a mercury derivative.

Vaccine #4: Influenza A (H1N1) 2009 Monovalent Vaccine (Injection)
Manufacturer: CSL Limited

This is an inactivated influenza virus vaccine indicated for active immunization of persons ages 18 years of age and older.
There have been no studies done to see if this vaccine is safe to take with other vaccinations.
Studies have not been conducted to test if this vaccine can cause fetal harm when administered to a pregnant woman or if it can affect reproduction capacity.
Multi-dose vials contain thimerosal, a mercury derivative. Single-dose vials do not.

I collected all of the above information from the FDA web site. Visit their site to learn more. I suggest you do the reading before you make a decision. I would also suggest you read an objective point of view as well. You can find a lot of great information on the National Vaccine Information Center's web site: http://www.nvic.org/vaccines-and-diseases/h1n1-swine-flu.aspx

The U.S. Department of Health & Human Services created a web site solely about the flu. They created a self-evaluation (not to substitute your doctor's advice) regarding the H1N1 flu symptoms. If you are concerned about your current symptoms and are over the age of 18 you can do this self-evaluation to help guide you: http://www.flu.gov/evaluation/

Everyone wants to know if they have the seasonal flu or the H1N1 flu. How do you know? The web site flu.gov spells it out (but still very vague) as:

Seasonal Flu (all types of flu can cause):

Fever Coughing and/or sore throat
Runny or stuffy nose
Headaches and/or body aches
Chills Fatigue

H1N1 Flu (same as seasonal flu, but symptoms may be more severe):

Fever Coughing and/or sore throat
Runny or stuffy nose
Headaches and/or body aches
Chills Fatigue

*In addition to the above symptoms, a number of H1N1 flu cases reported:

Vomiting
Diarrhea

Here are the important emergency warning signs to look out for (Source: Center for Disease Control - CDC). If you or your child is experiencing any of these, go to the hospital ASAP:

In children:

Fast breathing or trouble breathing
Bluish skin color (call 911 now)
Not drinking enough fluids
Not waking up or not interacting
Being so irritable that the child does not want to be held
Flu-like symptoms improve but then return with fever and worse cough
Fever with a rash

In adults:

Difficulty breathing or shortness of breath
Pain or pressure in the chest or abdomen
Sudden dizziness
Confusion
Severe or persistent vomiting

This current flu has been confirmed as a pandemic so I do not take this threat lightly. I do, however, have concerns over the vaccine. I guess you can say I am somewhat fearful to take either path; to vaccinate or not to vaccinate.

The fear you feel as a mother is indescribable when it comes to situations as this. For so many of us we feel damned if we do and damned if we don't.

Do I give my child a vaccine containing mercury that is known to impair a child's immune system? What happens if my child already has an impaired immune system (such as severe asthma); how can I ensure his safety? Do I give my child a vaccine that has caused damage in the past and the newer version has not been fully tested? Do I not give my child the vaccine and hope the flu is not as bad as they say? Wonder if I give my child the flu shot and then H1N1 mutates and the vaccine no longer works and now the mercury has impaired my child's immune system to fight it off. Wonder if I made the wrong decision?

This is what goes through a concerned mother's head. I think every case is different. You really have to educate yourself and then weigh the pros and cons as they pertain to you and/or your child. As with any parent and any vaccine it is a personal decision. Just make sure it is an educated one.

Take care,
Alicia

1. Asa, P. B., Cao, Y. & Garry, R. F. (2000). Antibodies to squalene in Gulf War Syndrome. Experimental and Molecular Pathology 68, 55-64.

Parents Be AWARE!

2009-11-04T09:32:00.000-08:00

by Natalie

I would like to inform you of an experience my husband and I recently had while shopping at a grocery store. I don’t know if anyone has considered the threat this economy could place on our children and their safety. Child pornography, sex-slavery, harvesting, and kidnapping are a real danger to our children. And there are people out there who would love nothing more than to make thousands of dollars with a single abduction!

Today, while I was talking with my daughter about how I would have loved to have hair like hers when I was growing up she began to tell me about a foreign lady who approached her at the store the other day. My husband nor my daughter thought to mention this to me until I inquired further about it in response to her story. I was completely unaware because I had been in a different aisle than my children and my husband at the time this occurred.

My daughter has long beautiful, blonde, curly hair. If I were to describe my daughter, I would claim her to be a modern day princess. She is angelic in appearance, and would be very appealing to a predator. She is very sweet to strangers and would easily carry a conversation with anyone who would approach her. I am repeatedly training our children to be aware of who and what is around them, and to keep a guard up. But, this lady was clever. While my daughter was looking at something on a shelf this lady came up behind her and said, “Oh….you are so beautiful and have such long….pretty hair,” then proceeded to grab my daughter’s arm hard and pull her along. My daughter said she had very long nails.

The lady was unaware that my husband was standing just a few feet away, heard what she said, and had locked onto her with eagle eyes. This predator then came face to face with him, smiled and asked my daughter, “Is this your daddy?”

“Yes,” my daughter replied. Then my husband said to the lady, “I am her dad. I think I will take over from HERE!” The lady released our daughter and proceeded on.

When my daughter shared this I could tell what happened occurred so fast that she hadn’t even processed that the motive of this woman was endangering. I explained to my daughter that this lady saw dollar signs when she saw her and had a bad plan in mind. She had no business touching, grabbing, or pulling her anywhere. The dangers of strangers are so real. Many times I think we don’t think it will happen to us, but it could happen at any moment, and it only takes a few seconds.

Parents we need to equip our children, educate them, and watch out for our children every minute of every single day never to presume they are safe. Predators are waiting and watching for every opportunity. They are lurking, and plotting how to gain the trust of our children, approach them, persuade them, deceive them, and take them. It is up to us to make their mission impossible.

Thank God, this lady did not succeed with whatever she had in mind to do. Perhaps she wanted to sell my child’s hair, her body, or worse. Whatever the case was, she failed at her mission that day, because Daddy Hawk was watching.

Natalie

http://friendinreach.blogspot.com

The Failure of the Public Schools and Society to Protect Our Children

2009-11-02T00:00:00.000-08:00

by Natalie

I want to talk about something relevant today. Recently a young 15 year old girl was raped and beaten as a form of entertainment at a dance. She was lying there screaming for someone to help her only instead to be videotaped while she was stripped naked, violated, tormented, and mutilated with foreign objects. She was raped by a mob of cowards while classmates stood watching with glee. How heinous! It better make the news!

To make it worse, teachers and security were just feet away, at a holler’s distance while this girl screamed in pain, humiliation, and terror! Where has humanity gone? Has society numbed itself and desensitized itself so much that death is now attractive and gruesome acts are now fun to watch unfold?

Teachers and security officers are supposed to be people you can trust, and fellow students should be morally convicted to take a stand. Yet, we cannot seem to count on that anymore. Horror movies are profiting, while perspectives of life and death continue to warp in our nation to the point fathers and sons view the slaughtering of lives on the screen funny and pleasurable. Just the commercials shake me up, yet there are people in our communities that make "Saw" their family night movie. Real life reality and unreality become altered. Wrong and right are no longer black and white. Texting and emails are making relationships less personable to the point emotions are less connected. Drugs and Alcohol are more prevalent to the point students say that it is rare to find anyone who doesn’t do it. Teachers and police officers more and more are corrupt to the point you don’t know who is good and who is bad. Something has got to change.

When I was a kid abuse was not to this degree at school, but it existed. I wonder how many children are keeping to themselves what they witness, experience, or are recipients of each day at school? What are they keeping from us, their parents? Who do they feel they can trust and go to without being belittled and accused of misunderstanding what they saw or heard? How many parents give that response because they don't think it could be possible? Or how many kids are being repromanded or abused for being a tattle tale, snitch, or nark? I remember being repromanded for reporting the truth. Many kids these days receive threats if they open their mouths. Kids get shredded apart, shunned, and mistreated in today's society if they happen to attempt to let anyone know something bad is going down.

I know I kept a lot of secrets. Sometimes it was to protect a friend, or even myself from humiliation and mistreatment from peers. I was teased a lot just because I believed in God, and that was in the 1970s. The playground was the place where kids took the opportunity to shred each other apart verbally and pyschologically. It was about, "May the best man win,be proven", or "Get the most friends."

Then there are other secrets you keep: What was done to you or said to you. How many parents are blowing off kids emotions when they need fed encouragement, strength, and reminders that they are amazing, smart, wise, full of the impossible waiting to be unleashed? Are they told they can make a difference? Are they coached how to stand alone and to be tough with courage? Are they told they can count on us when the going gets tough to stand beside them, even carry them if need be? Or, are they being torn down, told to shut up, be quiet, we're busy, and dont' have time for what they have to tell us? Where are the morals of our society deminishing?

I understand a sliver of what this girl experienced from the standpoint of what rape does to you as a human being. Amplify that by 1,000 when a crowd stands around and cheers as your predator, not one, but a mob strips you against your will and begins to do the unthinkable. You are not behind walls, in the woods, hidden as the offense unfolds. No, you are on stage, with a spotlight, surrounded by people, cameras, and video rolling! I was molested, then later raped in my life as a young woman. I tried to work through it most my life. I cannot imagine how this young girl felt to have spectators, peers, and potentially "so-called friends" cheer the rapists on. Since when does society SUPPORT RAPE? Well, we found out folks. TODAY. More and more of our society is that numb, and it is no time to presume this cancer is not spreading. Does that scare you a little? It concerns ME!

I pray this young girl heals from all of this. Her trust must be destroyed of almost all humanity now. What this has done to her emotionally and mentally cannot even be fathomed. We have got to say, "Enough is enough," as a society and take a stand on what is destroying our nation within.

Our schools have failed our children and their safety, and it is presumed that when they are at school they are in a safe place. But, how many of the schools do not have security, security cameras and metal detectors? How many of them do not monitor strangers entering throughout the school day? How many make sure the teachers who are on staff are safe for our children to be with? What kind of influence are they having on our children's self-esteem, sense of safety, or morals and beliefs? What are their peers doing in the classrooms, in the halls, and in the bathrooms? What are they doing on the playgrounds and in the parking lots?

We need to stop turning the blind eye. Giving our children the message that we don't have enough time to deal with what they are trying to tell us is a bad response, and a dangerous one. Daily deadlines are not the priority friends. Our kids need to be. They will be the ones we are counting on in the future. What goes around comes around and if we neglect our children we will regret we did.

Here are some of the things I experienced when I was in school. Most of the experiences I never shared with my parents until I was an adult:

When I was in kindergarten my kindergarten teacher would take a paddle with holes in it and publically spank a fellow classmate to the point he couldn’t walk. My second grade teacher was also abusive. When I would tell her I had to go to the bathroom she would make me hold it until I peed my pants. This happened repeatedly. I would beg her to let me go, but she wouldn’t. The routine was, she would say no, I would pee my pants, and she would drag me to the bathroom violently by my arm as she called me a list of names. It got to the point I was fearful to let her know I had to go. That is not right. No child should have to go through that, yet they do.

This was not the only thing she did. On one occasion I had a deep wound in my head. It had scabbed over and was itching profusely. The scab was starting to peel off and I was trying to slowly remove it while waiting with my class for our turn in a Christmas pageant. It was sticking out of my forehead. I wanted it off, but I knew if I wasn’t careful I’d bleed. A classmate got grossed out, my teacher became angry with me for fiddling with it, and decided to rip it off my head. I began bleeding down my face. She marched me to the bathroom calling me more names and slapped a wet paper towel on my head as she spit and told me to get it together then dragged me to my seat. My spirit was slowly stripped away by her daily abuse, and I began to wonder why she hated me so much? I was a quiet kid who tried my best to please her.

In sixth grade I had a teacher who was violent. He chose me to be the one who’d sit next to the problem children. For some reason the trouble kids behaved better when they sat next to me. I don’t know why. One time I was placed next to a kid that was perverted and cussed a lot. He would talk while the teacher taught, and constantly harassed me. One day he decided to make a pornographic picture with the Land ‘O Lakes butter case. He had taken the Indian girl’s knees and folded them up behind the picture, made windows over her chest area and then opened them up to reveal the knees, which became nude breasts. That was it for me. I reported it to the teacher. Well, that turned sour. He lost his top, marched over to the kid, lifted him up out of his chair by his shirt and slammed him against the wall, screaming an inch away from his face. The boy tearfully begged for mercy until he slammed him back into his chair. All I could think was it was my fault that this happened, and I never reported anything after that. It was mortifying!

After that, another incident occurred one day after class. The bell was about to ring, and the teacher was finishing up giving his announcements. A rule was that you were to not talk while he was talking. One of the girls in the class started to whisper something. He got so angry he threw a large, metal, stapler at her head. It missed by a centimeter and slammed into the chalkboard. I wondered to myself if anyone else could hear what was happening? He could have killed her! Years later, he was promoted to principal of that school.

It makes you wonder, doesn’t it?

When I was in high school I had a history teacher lock eyes with me as an ex-boyfriend dragged me by my neck, like an animal, to a locker and slam me up against it telling me I was not allowed to break up with him. Did he intervene, stop the boy, or help me? NO, he didn’t! He pretended he didn’t see anything and slowly walked back into his classroom. It devastated me that he permitted that to take place and didn’t protect me. It shifted something inside of me. If he wouldn’t stand up for me who would?

We also had a male high school teacher, who unknown to me was raping fellow students, by seducing them and telling them that having sex with him made them into beautiful women. If girls had a personal problem in their lives he became their confidant and friend. Once he had their trust he moved in. He gave me counsel, and often encouraged me to pursue my dreams. I had no idea what he was guilty of. But, he did odd things like take me to dark classrooms claiming we would have more privacy there. Over time he began to move closer to me to the point I had to excuse myself out of fear of what he would do to me. I never let myself get into that position again.

After I graduated, I learned he was sleeping this with many girls in my school after a best friend confided in me and told me she was a regular victim. He made her feel special, pretty, like a woman at the time, but as she grew older she realized what had been doing. More and more girls came out and told each other what he had done with them. To make matters worse his daughter was a fellow classmate and friend of ours. I don’t know that she even knows her father did this. He was presenting himself as friend to young girls who were emotionally and developmentally children, preying on them, and raping them in the name of affection. He was never held accountable by anyone. However, I learned one day, out of the blue, he dropped dead in the shower with no explanation.

During that same year I had a female teacher, who pleasured herself in humiliating her students. All the students warned each other about her. She received no consequence for her actions. According to other teachers and office staff she dangled a threat to bring a lawsuit against the school if they gave her any hassles, because they made a rule that none of the teachers could be married to each other. She was in love and living with the science teacher. They had been together for many years. They wanted to be married, but because of the school’s rule they couldn’t marry.

She was in her sixties, wore her black, silky, long hair below her rear, painted her slinky nails black, and wore black most of the time. If she wore her hair down she was in a good mood. If she wore it in a bun she was in a very bad mood, and if she wore if halfway up and halfway down she was a mix of both moods. Her presence was cold, stiff, and pretentious. I hated the fact she was my first class for the day. It was a known fact that she thrived on giving Fs to her students and very few people passed. She also had a strong reputation for hating pretty girls, according to all the students. And, I can testify she was relentless in her abuse to foreign, exchange students who struggled with their English. She mocked them, made fun of them, and put them into tears. For those of us who stood up to her for doing that, we got Fs for the day.

One of her rules was if you were late she marked you absent. You were not excused unless you had a pink slip. If you had one she changed it to tardy. One day I came in late. She never corrected my attendance. The next day she accused me of being absent in front of the class. All my classmates defended me and told her I was there. The office had record of my excuse as well. She said there was no proof in her records. I told her I had my notes from class. She accused me of copying them, and proceeded to abuse me through the rest of class. I held strong, did all I could to keep the peace and just get through it, but at the end of class she ordered me to go to the principal’s office. I had never been sent to the principal’s office. I was a good kid, and most all of my teachers liked me. I served in the office following anyway, so when I got there I shared with the office staff what I had been accused of. A fellow classmate came with me to report what had happened. He was a favorite student of hers, a respected student over all. We thought his witness would help in my defense. The office staff took notes, tried to encourage me, but shortly after, we quickly learned the evidence we had made no difference. My teacher confidently walked into the principal’s office and quietly shut the door behind her. The next thing we knew my principal was storming out of his office in an outrage screaming at me to the point his face was bright red! It shook everyone up. You would have thought I was a really bad kid. It took my breath away, and I began to bawl as I pleaded for him to hear my side. He didn't take the time to hear it. It was crazy and out of character for him. When he finished she smirked, put her nose up in the air, tossed her hair and laughed, “Well, it is…impossible for me to keep track of over 300 students. She COULD have been there. Who knows,” then walked out. Everyone gasped, my principal completely humiliated, turned pasty white as he fled to his office in dismay. No apologies given to me, I sat there frozen from the abuse of my teacher and my principal. One lady said, “I would like to know what she has on him. I have never seen him like that!”

That experience really messed with my head and confidence as developing kid. How many times do kids get treated like this unwarranted? The school system is political. It is a fact. I am not saying there are not good ones, but the one I grew up in was corrupt. My mother came in to address what had happened. The teacher pretended to be shocked that I felt mistreated and pretended to be innocent. She even complimented me to my mother to convince my mom she liked me. It was all a lie. At the end of my year she gave me a D+. I deserved a better grade, but when you have teachers like that you are at their mercy. The school system does nothing about it.

Then there are teachers who make you take notes on information they will NOT be putting on the test at all. This should be illegal. How can you succeed if this is the system a teacher uses. Notes are for studying. If the questions on the test do not cover what you studied how can you possibly have a chance of passing? It is nonsense, yet it happens all over the place. As a matter of fact, our daughter has a professor in college who happens to be doing the same thing to her. What is he? A history teacher. How can you possibly get a good grade in that situation?

Another teacher of mine aimed to be more of a peer. Apparently she partied with some of my classmates. She was our single survival teacher and instead of us having single survival class it became a discussion forum of whatever anyone wanted to talk about. This included a male student freely talking about raunchy sexual experiences, oral sex, do’s and don’ts, and fyi’s to girls if they were going to have sex. He was graphic, violating and I couldn’t stand it. I confronted him boldly and told him to stop it, but the teacher just sat there and watched us go back and forth as if it was the highlight of her day. Everyone else stayed quiet and just listened to his disgusting mouth in shock. The girls felt like they were sitting there with nothing on. It was abuse this teacher was permitting, and participating in by allowing it.

One day she encouraged some classmates to produce signs that would be hung in the hallways while everyone else was in class. It was to address a fellow classmate about her habit of sleeping around. Can you imagine how that girl felt when she came out of class and every hallway was covered in unkind messages to her? Can you imagine the disgust I had when I watched that same teacher chit chat with her in the halls as if she was a friend?

Teachers should be holding high standards. They should be teaching kids to respect each other, stand up for what is right, and encourage morality, integrity, and honor. Compassion should be at the top of the list. Speaking up should not be wrong. Yet, mixed messages are sent to kids every day by their role models. Kids don’t know whom they can trust, whom they can admire, or whom they can run to when in trouble.

What are children experiencing at school? Kids keep secrets. They don’t know how to handle things they are seeing, hearing, or being recipients of. Something needs to be done about that.

Schools are also preparing to become abortion clinics by the slip of a pill, and the parents will have no legal right to know about it. Whoever gives your child that pill will not be accountable for any damages done. And, there are children who have died from taking the abortion pill. Are we okay with that?

Our children’s safety is a priority. Knowing what is going on inside the school walls, in the school parking lots, and activities is imperative. What is going on at the malls, parks, and empty buildings is serious. Being a cool parent is caring about your kid to the point you step in. As parents, we need to stop listening to what society is telling us how to be and start doing what is right to protect our children in this nation.

Do we want another child to be stripped searched again, against her will? Can we take it one more time if any more of our children are shot while they are at school? Do we want a young girl to bleed to death because she was given an abortion pill behind our backs? Is it enough yet, that teachers are preying on our kids for sexual interests? Do we want another child to be violenty raped at school, beaten, or abused? And what about gangs? Our children are terrified because the gangs walk their halls and malls with authority. Is it okay with us if the death toll, the rapes, the violence, and the abuse keep going up, and that our children are the recipients of what is going on?

Parents, we need to be involved in our children's daily lives on a whole new level. They need us to enter their world. They need us to be proactive more today than ever. And, I am certain that our children will remember whether we made it a priority to protect them or not.

Natalie

Volunteering

2009-10-24T11:24:00.000-07:00

Written By: Gina

A friend of mine, Darlene, inspired this blog. She inquired about local volunteer programs so I started to do some research. I found considerable need in just about every community. I used to think it was all about volunteering time but for some, giving a financial contribution to a cause they believe in fits more with their schedule and ability and that’s great too. I think being aware and conscious of the needs of your community is the most important thing.

I am listing local Los Angeles volunteer groups below but there are more to be found. Each city has a list of organizations that cater to the needs of that particular area and can be found easily on-line. I have also found that many of the organizations listed below have national chapters…so for my WNY friends, you can find a local volunteer program too! If you have a particular project you are interested in- like illiteracy or community clean-up, each organization clearly defines the needs for that program.

I don’t want to preach to anyone that I think you have to do this. I just thought the information would be helpful for those of us that just need a small kick in the pants to get started. I found Darlene’s desire to do volunteer work while she is job hunting selfless and admirable. I have wanted to volunteer my time for years and other than contributing financially, I have not yet done so. I have no excuses anymore and I truly feel that giving to others feeds the soul. I watch shows like "Extreme Home Makeover" and I imagine doing that kind of work would be very rewarding and inspiring. So I took the time to provide the links to get some of us started!

www.volunteermatch.org: Matches you with the volunteer needs in a particular city

www.vcla.net/home.htm:
• Volunteer Involvement Program - Fosters volunteerism by educating people and communities about the significant contribution that volunteers can make.
• Youth Programs - The mission is to help children, parents, and community members become effective leaders and successful citizens.
• Senior Programs match adults ages 55+ with individuals, families, and organizations that are greatly in need of their experience, expertise, wisdom, and compassion.
• Training Programs - In an effort to lead the world in people helping people, The Volunteer Center of Los Angeles offers The Volunteer Management Training Series.
• Classes for Immigrants - The program focuses on providing a congenial environment where immigrants gain the knowledge and perfect the skills they need to succeed in their new country.
• Court Collaborations program is to match individuals who have received court-referred community service with qualified non-profit or government agencies that need their services.
• DUI Prevention Program is a court-referred community service program that is designed to discourage recidivism by convicted DUI offenders.
• Special Events

www.volunteerlosangeles.com:
• Children’s Services: AVIVA FAMILY AND CHILDREN’S SERVICES; BIG BROTHERS BIG SISTERS OF GREATER LOS ANGELES AND THE INLAND EMPIRE; CHILD ADVOCATES OFFICE OF LOS ANGELES; CHILDREN’S BUREAU OF SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA; CHILDREN OF THE NIGHT; LAUSD SCHOOL VOLUNTEER PROGRAM; PARA LOS NINOS; READING PARTNERS; SCHOOL ON WHEELS; VISTA DEL MAR CHILD AND FAMILY SERVICES

• Health & Well Being: ALZHEIMERS ASSOCIATION; ANGEL FLIGHT WEST; BRAILLE INSTITUTE; CLARE FOUNDATION; THE WESTSIDE HIV COMMUNITY CENTER; RECORDING FOR THE BLIND & DYSLEXIC; SUICIDE PREVENTION CENTER or any local hospital, clinic, wellness center or assisted living facility; WISE AND HEALTHY AGING

• Social Services: ADULT LITERACY CENTER; AMERICAN RED CROSS; ASIAN PACIFIC COMMUNITY FUND; CHRYSALIS; DAYBREAK; DOWNTOWN WOMEN’S CENTER; HEAL THE BAY; LITERACY NETWORK OF GREATER LOS ANGELES; LOS ANGELES REGIONAL FOOD BANK; MEALS ON WHEELS; SOJOURN SERVICES FOR BATTERED WOMEN AND THEIR CHILDREN; SOUTHWEST VOTER REGISTRATION EDUCATION PROJECT; ST. JOSEPH CENTER; TURNING POINT TRANSITIONAL HOUSING; A WINDOW BETWEEN WORLDS; local YWCA Offices.

www.voa.org:
Volunteers of America: Supporting and empowering millions of people in need requires a tightly knit network with a common goal. With 38 offices covering more than 400 communities, our ministry of service extends across the country to help those who need us most reach their full potential. Supporting Children, Youth & Families, Community Corrections, Community Enhancement, Emergency Support, Employment & Training, Homelessness, Housing, Intellectual Disabilities, Long-Term Care, Mental Health, Seniors, Substance Abuse, Veterans and for more information on donating items or shopping at our thrift stores, visit the following local office websites:

• Volunteers of America Colorado Branch http://www.voacolorado.org/
• Volunteers of America of the Dakotas http://www.voa-dakotas.org/
• Volunteers of America of Eastern Washington and Northern Idaho http://www.voaspokane.org/
• Volunteers of America of Florida http://www.voa-fla.org/
• Volunteers of America of Greater Ohio http://www.voaohio.org/
• Volunteers of America of Michigan http://www.voami.org/
• Volunteers of America of Oregon http://www.voaor.org/
• Volunteers of America of Pennsylvania http://www.voapa.org/
• Volunteers of America of Western NY http://www.voawny.org/

www.volunteers.org:
The Los Angeles Corporate Volunteer Council (CVC) Seeks a commitment from businesses of all sizes to support & encourage their employees to participate in volunteer activities and promote effective volunteer leadership for positive social change.

www.losangelesmission.org/events/mar08.html: The Los Angeles Mission is a nonprofit organization serving the homeless living on the streets of downtown’s Skid Row. Faithfully, for more than 70 years, we have saved many lives and have had a profound impact on thousands of others by providing compassionate, humanitarian services to those in desperate need. They provide help, hope & opportunity to men, women & children. They also host Hope For The Holiday Hope Meals where you can help serve holiday meals to the homeless community.

www.muchlove.org: Much Love Animal Rescue is a 100% non-profit, no-kill organization dedicated to reducing overpopulation, abuse and neglect of domestic animals. Much Love is run entirely by like-minded professionals who volunteer their time and resources to help save the lives of these animals. Since 2000, we have successfully placed over 2,000 animals in loving homes.

Happy volunteering!
Gina

Are They Natural?

2009-10-19T13:44:00.000-07:00

Written by: Alicia

"Are they natural?" If you are raising multiples then you will understand the feeling that arises after being asked this question. Over time these feelings can actually vary and change during certain life stages.

For instance, when my triplets were first born I would say nearly every other stranger we would run into at the mall would ask if our kids were "natural." This question felt pretty offensive back then. I struggled through five years of infertility and my life was torn apart for many, many years trying to have just one baby. I was blessed with three. To me, my triplets are miracles and are certainly very "natural." What else would they be? Plastic? Full of preservatives?

I soon got the point that I wanted to design T-shirts for them that read, "100% organic." I remember getting so mad because I felt like strangers were lessening the miracle of my babies simply because I needed help in conceiving them.

As the years went on, I got used to this question. I actually became okay with it. I figured most people just wanted to know if I did infertility treatments or not? Of course, when they see fraternal triplets they assume they were the product of fertility drugs. I talked myself into believing that maybe most of the people who asked me this question were possibly going through infertility themselves and were curious.

In that case, I wanted to give hope to people. I started responding to this question by saying, "Yes they are natural and conceived through IVF." I was okay with this for a year but now my emotions are changing again.

I am back to being offended by this question. Why the change? Because now my kids can understand the stranger's question. Now, I need to explain to my kids what "natural" means.

This switch in my emotions regarding this question changed on the day we had moving guys moving in our belongings. All three of my kids were at my feet playing. One guy looked at all three of them and said, "Are the all natural?" I felt a sudden rage come over me. My kids looked up at this man (my triplets are nearly 4 years old now).

In defense of my kids I changed my comeback to, "Yes. They are natural. Is it natural for you to ask offensive questions in front of kids? Do you know my kids can understand your question?"

I guess you can say the rest of the move-in day was slightly uncomfortable but I got so mad and it just kinda slipped out that way. I don't regret it one bit.

Now that my kids are older, it is not how I feel about this question anymore. It is now about how THEY feel. I don't want my kids growing up thinking that are not "natural" because Mom needed the help of fertility treatments to have them. I don't want them to ever feel they are any less of the miracle I will forever believe them to be.

So many people will say hurtful things and I find that all of them are just not educated on fertility treatments. So, let me set the record straight on fertility treatments: Doctors can only do so much.

For instance: Doctors can give you drugs to help you create more eggs, they can even put the sperm directly into the egg and then they can place the fertilized egg into your uterus.

Here is what doctors CANNOT do: They cannot make your egg accept the sperm. They cannot make the cells in the fertilized egg divide. They cannot make the fertilized egg stick to your uterine wall. They cannot make your body accept this foreign object. They cannot ensure that the egg continues to divide and grow into a healthy baby. Guess what? Those are the crucial factors of fertility that are left up to a higher being.

One woman I briefly met said to me, "God must not have wanted you to have kids." I said to her, "Apparently, he wanted me to have three at the same time." I hope this woman reads this blog someday. She needs an education.

For those curious people on the street that are amazed by the site of multiples, please ask direct questions. I would much rather have someone ask me, "Were they conceived through infertility treatments?" I will always feel this question is personal but I will give a truthful answer. If you ask me if my kids are "natural" and my kids can hear you...then you may fall victim to my sarcasm.

Take care,
Alicia

“Do You Have Cracked Feet?”

2009-10-11T22:48:00.000-07:00

By Natalie

Have you or your children ever endured cracked feet? My husband and I were treating two of our active children’s feet tonight. All of our children have food allergens and as a result have eczema of the feet. But, they will endure discomfort to be able to run outside barefoot and free! Because of the eczema they are vulnerable to infection, so we have to keep a close eye on their feet at all times. Their little heels and toes begin to split and dirt gets embedded into the cuts before we know it. Right when we think we have a handle on it the problem is back again!

During my investigation of this issues I learned there are multiple causes of this condition: immunosuppressant diseases, psoriasis, eczema, diabetes, athlete’s foot, thyroid disease, excessive feet activity, the wrong type of shoes, vitamin, essential fatty oil and mineral deficiencies, food allergens, and high yeast in the body, to name a few.

Here is advice I have received through my research and the council of natural medical doctors and nutritionists.

Topical Remedy Options:

1. Soak your feet in Lemon Juice 10 minutes once a week. Lemons are alkaline-not acidic, as you’d think. They have tremendous healing power. I was amazed what all lemons can do. Lemon juice fights infection, is anti-viral, anti-bacterial, and immune boosting. Squeezing a lemon into water does wonders for your health too!

2. Make a Lemon Wrap: Add 8 drops of lemon essential oil to 9 fluid ounces of lukewarm water and 1 Tbs. of liquid honey (raw honey is best). Honey is an anti-bacterial, anti-inflammatory natural medicine and strengthens the healing power of the lemon. Soak the linen cloth in the liquid, squeeze out the excess and gently place the cloth on the effected area for 15 to 30 minutes two or three times a day. This will bring healing and also relieve itching.

3. Honey Soak: Raw Honey is a natural emollient/moisturizer. It can be applied to the face for more supple skin and can work as a natural anti-bacterial facial. But, for damaged feet you can make a honey rub, squeeze some lemon juice into a small bowl of honey, a TBS of olive oil, and rub onto feet. It can be used by itself also. Cover with soft cotton socks or boots over night. Rinse with warm then cold water in the morning.

4. Rub shortening on the affected area. This only provides moisture. It is not a natural antiseptic for infection, but is reported to really work.

5. Squeeze garlic oil from capsules onto the infected areas. Garlic is a natural anti-bacterial, anti-fungal, and anti-inflammatory medicine. It is the earth’s natural penicillin. Apply 3x/day along with Neosporin in addition to other therapeutic remedies. Take internally also to assist digestive healing and inflammation internally.

6. Coconut Oil—It is a natural healer and is used for many, many things. I recommend a great read, “The Coconut Oil Miracle” by Dr. Bruce Fife, C.N, N.D. You can use it for beauty treatments, disease, cancer, diabetes, and more. Rub on feet up to three times a day. Also can apply it at night and put cotton socks on over night. It is a natural emollient, is anti-bacterial, anti-fungal, anti-parasitic, and anti-yeast. You can also add coconut to your cooking for overall health.

7. Flaxseed oil is valuable to healing. Apply it as a lotion. It has essential fatty oils in it that are essential for healthy skin. It also has so many attributes to our overall health. Adding Flaxseeds to salads, muffins, and yogurts are great fiber. You can ground them in a coffee grinder and add to protein drinks also.

8. ¼ c. Epsom salt to a basin of warm water. Add essential oils (such as lemon oil and oregano) that will aid in healing of inflammation, bacterial, infection, and more. Soak for 30 minutes daily. Rinse with warm then cold water.

9. Vitamin E oil-rub onto feet

10. ½ cup of olive oil and table sugar: apply to effected area, let sit for 20 minutes until dissolves then rinse.

11. Apply the pulp of a ripe banana on the dry skin for 10 minutes then rinse. Bananas have healing minerals in them that will aid in the healing.

12. Crush 6-8 strawberries; mix with 2 TBS. of olive oil or almond oil, and 2 tsp of sea salt. Make into a paste, massage into foot to improve circulation. Leave on for 15 minutes then rinse with warm followed by cold water. You can also use crushed almonds in place of the strawberries.

13. Flaxseed powder (ground seeds with a coffee grinder), add essential oils to it—with olive oil and soak for 15 minutes. Rinse with warm and then cold water.

14. 100 mgs of coconut oil, add 3 tsp. of camphor, 3 Tbs. of melted paraffin wax, and apply daily before bed. Rinse with warm then cold water in the morning and apply body lotion.

15. Silver Sol topical gel has been used in wound dressings and has been reported to excel healing more rapidly. It is a natural anti-bacterial and anti-viral boost for the healing process. You can combine it with Neosporin and/or another natural anti-bacterial agent like garlic oil. It is noted to accelerate the effectiveness of medicines. Silver has a long history of healing properties and uses.

Nutritionally Getting to the Root of It:

1. Increase your vitamin and mineral intake. It is essential for over all healing, because cracked feet are a sign of deficiencies: A, B, C, D, E, biotin, Riboflavin, zinc, iron, magnesium, calcium, and more. It is also a sign of healthy bacteria being stripped in your digestive system because your digestive system is not able to absorb them properly. It could indicate high yeast in the body or food allergens. A natural probiotic would be an additional help. Yogurts and Kefir with live healthy bacteria are a natural aid.

2. Remove or decrease foods that increase inflammation and acid in the body: Food allergens, sugary foods, sugary dressings, cereals, and beverages,and refined foods that turn into sugar quickly in the body as they are digested. Boxed foods lack nutritional value and have chemical based additives, which add toxins to the body and sap more minerals and vitamins from your digestive system.

3. Increase intake of green vegetables, and foods rich in the deficient minerals and vitamins you need. Brown rice, chicken, beans, yogurt, flaxseeds, coldwater fish, eggs, broccoli, berries, almonds, bananas, etc. Make soups, slow cook, grill, and steam your foods. Eat more green salads, sea vegetables and superfoods.

4. Increase Omegas (essential fatty oils/natural emollients). Dry skin and hair is a sign that there is an EFA deficiency, as well as vitamin and mineral deficiencies. Coldwater fish, Flaxseed oil or seeds, Borage Oil, Evening Primrose oil, are all great.

5. Avoid walking barefoot while healing, nourish your feet regularly, and keep a close eye on the condition. Don’t neglect your feet. Neglecting them could be detrimental leading to serious infections or worse.

If you ever encounter this issue, I hope one of these natural remedies will be helpful to you. I would strongly encourage you to do a evening soak daily, apply an anti-bacterial emollient three times a day, and do an overnight treatment each night to excel healing and protect you or your child from more serious conditions.

I have a little ‘foot’ experiment for you to try for fun. It reveals how much the health of your feet and the rest of your body are connected. Take a clove of garlic (or an onion might work, or even some Vicks—I have tried this), rub it on the bottom of one of your feet between your toes. Wait a few minutes. You will eventually taste it in your mouth! It makes you think, doesn’t it?

Enjoy your week and take care of your feet!

Natalie

Is your Illness all in Your Brain?

2009-10-09T07:32:00.000-07:00

SOMATOFORM DISORDER—SOME CHALLENGING QUESTIONS TO WEIGH BEFORE CONCLOUSION IS MADE
--By Natalie

SOMATOFORM DISORDERS are described by the American Psychiatric Association as follows: "One or more physical complaints (e.g., fatigue, loss of appetite, gastrointestinal or urinary complaints) where either appropriate evaluation uncovers no organic pathology or pathophysiologic mechanism (e.g., physical disorder or the effect of injury...) to account for the physical complaints," or "when there is related organic pathology, the physical complaints or resulting social or occupational impairment is grossly in excess of what would be expected from the physical findings. The etiology of somatoform disorders is not clear; the problem seems to be multi-determined.

Common somatic complaints that reflect this disorder: pseudoseizures and syncope, motor dysfunction, sensory disturbances, headaches, dizziness, sleep difficulties, eating disorders, vomiting, hiccups, psychogenic cough and tremors.” --------Dr. Richard Martini, MD

Before a conclusion has been made that a patient has somatoform disorder:

1. Did anyone considered testing hormone levels? Progesterone or Testosterone for that person? It is fact that balance of these hormones is key to disease prevention. Were Adrenal glands, Thyroid, the inner ear, and Digestive system health evaluated? Have all systems in the body been thoroughly checked first before making a conclusion? Have their enzymes, minerals, and vitamins been checked?

2. Has the patient been tested or evaluated for food allergens, medication allergens, or environmental/chemical allergens, and mold, which affect the body in numerous ways? Have they been checked for celiac disease? 95% of serotonin is produced in the digestive systems according to top neurologists in the world. If the digestive systems is a mess the chemical balance in the brain and neurotransmitters are affected. This has been tested and proven.

3. Has the patient received ALL necessary tests to rule other things out? Especially, thorough blood panel, not just the ‘standard’ test that is lease costly for insurance? For example, a hospital only does a specific panel of tests. Also, general medicine follows specific standard guidelines, geared towards evaluating the average person. It does not recognize people as uniquely made. Yet, some people have been born where their heart is on the right side, not the left! CT-scans, MRIs, Ultrasounds, nerve tests, white blood counts, urinalysis, and bloodwork have failed people. My family alone has had five incidents. CT-scans rely on fatty tissue, x-rays have been noted to be a waste of money by doctors, white blood counts can be lowered by an IV masking there is an infection, and when urinalysis are taken they are tossed if they read contaminated. They are presumed to have been contaminated by the patient, however many times it is contaminated because the patient is suffering a severe UTI that needs treated immediately!

4. Has the patient been tested for parasites, high metal toxicity, acidosis, mineral and vitamin deficiencies?

5. Has the patient’s medical history been entirely reviewed or inquired of completely, including childhood illnesses?

6. Has the patient been checked by an ENT, endocrinologist, Immunologist, autoimmune physician, urologist, an allergist, homeopathic physician, chiropractor, orthopedic to check structure of the spine, pulmonologist, vascular physician, cardiologist, neurologist, and audiologist, osteopath, or other specialists that they have been recommended to see/could see to make sure particular systems are not affecting other systems BEFORE a conclusion is made? It is a fact that all systems are connected and can affect one another, and if one is malfunctioning can put stress on the others.

7. Has a second opinion been provided or investigated?

8. If a new patient, do they have an advocate to assist and ensure they are getting the right attention before conclusions are made?

9. Shouldn’t somatoform disorder be concluded after everything else has been done, instead of before it is done? Or are we on a timetable where the answers have to be concluded within only a couple of months of a patient arriving?

10. Are doctors listening to the patient or are they evaluating a patient based on the standard average patient scenario when they really should be considering that people are uniquely made and cannot fit a cookie cutter mold

11. Has the patient been on any medications recently that could be the cause of the symptoms they are dealing with? Pharmaceuticals are a cause to many illnesses, and are disregarded when a person complains when in fact the drug companies list side affects that can occur. Some are more silent symptoms than violent symptoms. Are any doctors going back and looking at those possibilities?

12. Has the patient had any other symptoms that are unusual? Have they turned blue, had any swollen glands or extremities? Have they passed out? Has anything out of the unusual been going on? Do they behave a certain way after they have been exposed to a medication, chemical, drink, or food? Lets take more than five minutes to evaluate here!

13. Is the doctor telling the patient he or she should stay away from healthy foods and nutritional supplements? This will deplete a person’s ability to fight diseases and illnesses. At times symptoms are due to lack of vital nutrients and minerals our bodies desperately need to be healthy!

Medicine today has no excuse to ignore these, for as much education and information that is available to us. Yet, anti-depressants are one of the top medications prescribed by doctors today as a quick fix to silence the complaints. Many of them say it is just a shotgun trial to see if it helps suppress your symptoms. Suppress our systems? So we want to silence the alarms that are in our bodies telling us something is wrong now? People are wrongfully being labeled as being depressed, having anxiety, or having a mental disorder when none of the questions above are even asked or considered.

Take a stand when a doctor tries to tell you it is all in your head. God made our bodies with intricate alarm systems to inform us that something is not right so we can do something about it. Do not accept the neglectful conclusions that you are psychologically causing your health issues. Be courageous and ask these questions. Speak up for yourself and your family.

Every time you write your doctor a letter and challenge him with questions it becomes a legal document. If you ask him a question in writing, “Did you check me or my child for this? Why not?” and sign your name. That is all you need to do to make is a legal obligation. If he neglects to pursue your inquiry your attorney will have legal documentation that will be usable in court. I am sharing advice that was given by a doctor! TAKE A STAND! Your future is reliant on it! Your child’s future is dependant on it! Follow your instincts! You will be so glad that you did!

Natalie

Raising Her

2009-10-01T20:15:00.001-07:00

Written By: Gina

She walks up to me- the most beautiful little girl I have ever seen. She looks inquisitive and smart and has a sparkle in her big, beautiful brown eyes. I can tell she is special and is surrounded by love. She is not yet 4 years old but I can already see a lifetime in her eyes. She folds her hands, furrows her brow while looking down and says, “You know, we aren’t supposed to say son-of-a-bitch. See how that works?”

Classic. Totally my kid! Where’s my mother of the year award? Something sparked in me in that moment though. I wasn’t sure what it was but I knew it meant something. Don’t get me wrong- I wasn’t upset. I found the situation to be hilarious- something I did not however share in my response. I know I should have been appalled but the truth is, my daughter knew exactly what she was doing- she was challenging me and that was OK with me. I realized that how I raise my daughter will affect her entire life and well-being. Not that I didn’t know that before, but I really got it in that moment.

Yesterday, I saw Chris Rock on Oprah. He did a documentary about African American hair called “Good Hair” because his 4 year old daughter said she wanted long, flowing pretty hair like her White friend. I realized that raising a daughter is actually walking a fine line between confidence and conceit, aggression and persuasion, nurturing and need. It is not easy. What Chris Rock realized is that he has to build the confidence in his girls so that they feel beautiful as they are. I guess I realized that every parent that is present in their kids’ lives and development has the same goal. To not mess up and to get the message of beauty- inside and out, through to them.

I wrote my mom a letter for her 40th Wedding Anniversary telling her the most precious gift she gave me was the gift of choice. I don’t know if she understood why that was so important to me but it made my life what it is today. I see so many women unhappy and unfulfilled having settled for less than their desires in life. I see them struggle to be themselves even in their own homes and I watch some of them dream about working when they have been designated to be the sole child care giver. Why, as women, are we thrown so many hurdles yet we expect so much of ourselves? We juggle raising children and careers all the while trying to justify spending $100 for highlights in our hair.

Being a female kid in the 70’s was a time for revolution- in work titles, female roles and having a say in things. My mom (and dad too) taught us that we could be anything we wanted to be and that it was OK to admit what made us happy. We were taught never to settle and to always be true to our hearts. It was an invaluable lesson then and is especially today while raising a daughter. I know I want my daughter to be confident and I give her every opportunity to speak her mind but with respect. I want her to feel comfortable in her own skin and never do something out of being pressured (don’t we all).

I was sitting in the kids preschool class two weeks ago and overheard my daughter tell a little boy not to touch her. He didn’t stop, so she said it again and it was loud. It was a truly proud moment for me! I think I even told her in the car that any time someone touches her and it makes her uncomfortable to “Say NO loud, and say it proud!” But when she runs away from her preschool teacher and says “no” when asked to come back, it is imperative to properly explain why she should listen to certain people and not others. She also needs to understand why THOSE rules must be listened to and others may be challenged. Not easy! I want my daughter to understand “stranger danger” in the fullest sense of the term- so when she asks me right in front of someone if they are, in fact, a stranger, she understands why even though she has met them a few times, they are still consider as such.

What I think I need to accept is that my daughter is like me in SO many ways. She is stubborn, decisive, matter-of-fact, communicative, sassy and outspoken. But she is sweet, unlike her momma and I want that part of her personality to stay with her. So while I am trying to raise her to be in control of her surroundings, because even at 3 ½ I can tell where she is going to have confidence and where she gets shy and uncomfortable, I still want her to show the softer side that I was always missing so that she may appeal to more people and find situations easier to deal with. I want her to have the confidence to say how she feels without the backlash of being considered a “New York Italian.” I want her to be heard. I want her to feel supported.

So how do we do this- raise a confident girl that is just sweet and lady-like enough to stand her ground but not offend? I guess it is a daily process just like all the issues that have to do with child rearing. I know one thing- I never want to see that sparkle in her eye diminish. I want her to view life as something filled with endless possibilities and love. So I will deal with each situation as it comes and try my best to give her what I was given growing up….love and the ability to decide what worked for me. Thanks mom and dad for the stable grounding you gave me to always try to be the best mother I can be!

Gina

Vaccinations & Mutual Respect

2009-09-25T20:29:00.000-07:00

Written by: Gina

The time has come- I have to do it. I have to flat out say what I feel regarding the whole subject of vaccinations.

I have tried to be diplomatic and understanding. I can’t stay quiet about this any longer! I must say what I KNOW because I have been judged and name-called one too many times!

But first, I am thankful for our readers and their appreciation for the information we disseminate. I love that some have learned something new with every blog post (like we have) and have learned to ask questions and think twice about some serious issues. I also don’t expect everyone to agree with me or my point of view. I love a good debate and I have a passion for uncovering anything that can cause harm to myself or others.

With that said….
I completely and honestly do not judge people regarding their opinions about vaccinations. I do not think poorly of nor do I form opinions about anyone who gives their kids their required annual shots. I do not ask my friends or those around me if they vaccinate their children or themselves. I have respect for anyone who is doing what they think is right. I do not bombard those around me with unwanted or unsolicited information either- that’s what this blog is for. I have learned that everyone thinks they are right about this topic and that my opinion should not be shared unless solicited- and even then I am leery to do so.

It seems that whenever I talk about, write about or answer a questions about any issue regarding vaccinations, I am called a freak, uneducated or crazy. I’m not going to deny it- I know a lot about this subject and I just want to share what I know! The reaction to this knowledge is three-fold. Some people listen, accept and validate. Some people listen and nod their heads- not in judgment, maybe listening but not really listening and perhaps they don’t agree but they are being respectful. And then some people react very aggressively and do so with borderline animosity. Why do these people feel such passion about whether or not I give MY kids vaccinations?

I do have a different regard for those that step outside the box and ask questions. I applaud those that challenge the “norm” and want to know what, exactly, it all means. If someone said to me, “There are toxic chemicals in your garage- items that you should definitely keep away from your children,” I would listen. So when I started hearing that immunizations could cause medical problems, I looked into it. Some chemicals and toxins used in some common household items and vaccinations made me stop and think. Motor oil? BPA? Animal feces?? I can’t understand for the life of me why people refuse to ask about or acknowledge the things they ingest and administer into their bodies. Not to mention why they wouldn’t be horrified that the government thinks it’s OK to put unwashed chicken blood in a shot!

Before we get into the “is it negligent to not give vaccinations to your kids” debate, let’s first talk about pharmaceutical companies. They are the LARGEST lobbyist group in Washington having spent 1.5 billion on Congress over the last decade. What would that indicate to you? From all of the reading and research I have done, I have found that a lot of people stand to make a profit off of the success of pharmaceutical companies. Members of Congress and other sects of government, Physicians, etc. These people get a kick back/commission/incentive for supporting pharmaceutical company sales and that adds up to a lot of money. It’s called greed. This recent deal was made between PhRMA (Pharmaceutical Researchers and Manufacturers Association) and Congress showing how they leverage each other to both come out in a win/win situation. As if this lobbying didn’t exist (which is told to the public when we ask how could pharmaceutical companies possibly sell debilitating vaccinations to us?):

July 7, --
PhRMA DEAL
Commitment of up to 80 billion, but notmore than 80 billion
1. Agree to increase of Medicaid rebate from 15.1 - 23.1% ($34 billion)
2. Agree to get FOBs done (but no agreement on details-- express disagreement on data exclusivity which both sides say does not affect the score of the legislation.
($9 billion)
3. Sell drugs to patients in the donut hole ay 50% discount ($25 billion)
This totals $68 billion
4. Companies will be assessed a tax or fee that will score at $12 billion. There was no agreement as to how or on what that tax/fee will be based.
Total $80 billion

In exchange for these items:
1. Oppose importation
2. Oppose rebates in Medicare part D
3. Oppose repeal of non-interference
4. Oppose opening Medicare Part B

~ Huffington Post August 13, 2009

What this shows is that although PhRMA has several limitations in policy and fees going forward, they still stand to make huge financial gains through mandated and required vaccinations. These financial restrictions are petty amounts to pharmaceutical companies. They make plenty of money, so this “loss” to them will not even come close to affecting their bottom line.

Having just become a mother in 2005, I never really understood the “push” to administer vaccinations until experiencing the intimidation tactics used by my Pediatrician’s office in regards to the MMR. As most of you know, that vaccination mixed with others given the same day destroyed my one year old daughter’s Immune System. I woke up. I started asking questions and was horrified by what I found. Alicia, Natalie and I have all written blogs telling you about the toxins and chemicals found in cosmetics, household products and vaccinations- this information is printed right on the bottles and boxes! But still, we get backlash for being…what? Radical? Hippies? Bad parents? Not by everyone. We know we have caused some people to sit back and think and we know we have helped in so many ways and for that we are grateful. Just changing one life is gratifying. I don’t want anyone to do what I do because I do it- who cares what I think anyway! All I want is for people to start asking why for their own safety and security. What works in one household may not work in another….

I was reading a newspaper article written by Shannon Masters http://dailynews.com/opinions/ci13282180. She is a mother and author who was ignored when she told her doctor she did not want her baby to receive any vaccinations during a routine visit. I applauded her in the “comments” section for telling her story and for demanding that she be respected for her decision to decline vaccinations. As usual, I was referred to as “ignorant” by another reader for my opinion who also stated that I think I know more than the medical community. Well yeah, I do. And I have heard this over and over- people angrily calling me names and saying I should not be a mother. It is amazing to me that without even knowing who I am, what I do or what my education level is, some people feel justified calling me ignorant and less than and ideal parent. Did I call this man a name for being a follower? No. I actually laughed. Me-uneducated?!

Let’s talk about the new Swine Flu vaccination. What could potentially be in an H1N1vaccination? Most flu vaccines contain dangerous levels of mercury in the form of thimerosal, a deadly preservative that is 50 times more toxic than regular mercury. If taken in high enough doses, it can result in long-term immune, sensory, neurological, motor, and behavioral dysfunctions. Disorders associated with mercury poisoning include autism, attention deficit disorder, multiple sclerosis, and speech and language deficiencies. The Institute of Medicine has warned that infants, children, and pregnant women should not be injected with thimerosal, and yet the majority of flu shots contain 25 micrograms of it.

It has been calculated that, by age two, American children have received 237 micrograms of mercury from vaccines alone, which far exceeds the current EPA “safe” level of 0.1 mcg/kg per day. But that’s not all…..the following can also be found in a flu vaccination such as Tami flu and others:

Ethylene glycol (antifreeze)
Triton X100 (detergent)
Formaldehyde – a known cancer causing agent
Resin and gelatin - known to cause allergic reactions
Phenol (carbolic acid)
Sucrose
Neomycin and streptomycin (antibiotics)
Egg proteins (including avian viruses)
Aluminum -- a neurotoxin linked to Alzheimer’s disease
Squalene
Polysorbate 80 (Tween80™) – which can cause severe allergic reactions, including anaphylaxis ~Mercola July 15,2009

So here’s what I believe. I believe that pharmaceutical companies do NOT have our best interests at heart- I think it is all about making a profit. I do believe vaccinations were originally created to stop pandemic illnesses and I wish the government and pharmaceutical companies could go back to that mindset. I would like to believe that someday, vaccinations will be created to give true immunity to the very illnesses we fear. But I would like them to be toxin free so as not to attack our Immune and Neurological Systems. I also want to say to those that feel their vaccinated children cannot be near my unvaccinated children… If you are so SURE that your children have been properly vaccinated against the current strain of a particular illness, then my unvaccinated child cannot get your child sick. Carrier or not. If the CORRECT vaccination was given, nothing my child has can affect you. On the other hand, if your child has been improperly vaccinated against an illness or the wrong strain of that illness (which is the case a large % of the time), then it would not matter if my child was vaccinated or not. They would have been “protected” against the wrong strain anyway, so everyone is at risk.

It hurts to hear that I am a bad, careless, ignorant or irresponsible parent for not giving my kids immunizations. My children’s health and well-being is my number 1 priority- just like those parents that give their kids vaccinations in the belief that they are doing the right thing. I worry just like everyone else if I am doing right by my kids. What I do know is that I make my own decisions and come to my own conclusions. Jenny McCarty does not have a part in my decision making- trust me. I keep saying if you only had to walk one day in my shoes, watching your child get sick and go through blood test after blood test trying to figure out why, you might be more empathetic. Of course, I don’t wish that on anyone but it is the very reason I started to ask questions and demand answers.

I also want to address the issue of finding information to support my theories. I won’t. You won’t. If the pharmaceutical companies are the biggest lobbyist group in our country, they will be protected. There will be laws in place that protect them from scrutiny and legalities (which there are including- already- protection for the H1N1 shot), and they will be exempt from blame when it comes to any problems caused by vaccinations (which they are). Facts about immunization studies are not available in many cases because no studies were ever done! That’s right! We are giving drugs and vaccinations to our kids that have never been tested for side effects…like Gardasil. And some studies that were done were swept under the rug from the purely horrifying side effects they found that would be unacceptable to all of us!

So all I ask is for the same respect and consideration when it comes to making decisions for my family- which I know I don’t really need to say to anyone reading this. But I am curious to understand the other side- the vastly differing opinion…but with respect and not in an attack on me, personally. Why do you think people are so angry when it comes to this subject? At least if they got the facts straight about spreading disease, maybe they wouldn’t be so mad? And an observation I would like to share: While all the other kids in their preschool class have had colds and fevers for the last 2 weeks, my unvaccinated children are like sitting bulls, strong and sniffle free!!

In health and education,
Gina

A Male Factor Infertility Song

2009-09-22T11:00:00.000-07:00

Writte by: Alicia

Anyone remember the lyrics from a popular Heart song titled, "All I Want to Do is Make Love to You?" Funny how I remember singing this song back in the day but I never really grasped the full story...until now. I heard it today and it made me wonder how often something like this really happens. Here is the video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=50dywtJ7csA

Considering 50% of all infertility cases are due to the male factor; I wonder how many women consider this option (cheating in order to get pregnant). Would anyone ever admit to it? The answer is yes; but they may only tell a close friend or admit to it in an infertility support group session.

Unless you have ever gone through years of infertility, the lyrics to this song may be appalling. But, for women who don't have the money to pay for infertility treatments and their infertility is due to the male factor I am pretty sure I can say a good number of them think about it from time to time. I sat in on many support group sessions over the five years I struggled with infertility and I can honestly say I know for a fact women consider this option. But for the most part, I think this is a female secret.

I just adore the men who do go and get tested to find out the cause of their infertility issues. For the men who refuse to believe they may be the reason for their infertility issues and never go to get tested or helped (if needed), you may want to change your mind. For some women, the desire to have a baby is greater then their desire to stay 100% loyal.

Take Care,

Alicia

http://friendinreach.blogspot.com/