Written by: Alicia

Over one year ago I wrote an article titled “Selective Mutism and/or Autism?” I never knew how popular this blog post would become; it is now one of our most viewed posts. I am surprised because when I wrote it I didn’t think anyone would be interested in hearing about it. It was more of a release for me. To get the amount of hits we get has been a real eye opener. You hear a lot about Autism but you never hear about Selective Mutism (SM) until your doctor diagnoses your child with it. For those that do not know what SM is, it means having extremely high (if not crippling) social anxiety.

There is not a lot of information on the internet about SM. All of us parents are forced to search high and low on the web in order to gain more knowledge on how to help our children. Perhaps that is why I get so many visitors to our site on this subject matter. The majority of our readers are from the United States but we also have people visiting to read and learn about SM from the United Kingdom, Philippines, Netherlands, Italy, Australia, Canada and even Libyan Arab Jamahiriya (to name a few).

As some of our loyal readers know, my daughter was first diagnosed with Autism in May 2008. I had a hard time accepting that diagnoses and took her to see two separate psychologists to reevaluate her. They both arrived to the Autism diagnoses in less than one hour of knowing her. I made changes in her life and in May of 2009 she was easily undiagnosed with Autism. However, that same day the doctors said she was a Selective Mute. It was a huge day of celebration but I woke up the next day and started researching SM. I wanted to learn how I could cure her of this as well.

Doctors said I could not cure my daughter of Autism. The doctors were 100% confident that trying the gluten-free / casein-free diet for my daughter would not help at all. They said “It is not proven to help. Your best route is ABA therapy.” They were wrong! I have a tremendous amount of respect for doctors but those doctors were very, very wrong and thank God I did not listen to them. The diet change gave me my daughter back! I was certain I could figure out a way to now help her recover from SM.

Unfortunately, trying to find treatment options for SM is nearly impossible. The best advice I received to date was from a doctor who contacted me after reading my first blog post on this subject. Her name is Shannon Morgan-Gillard, Psy.D. and she runs The Brave Center for Selective Mutism in St. Louis. She suggested Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). I have followed her advice on CBT since.

It has been a year and a half since the doctors said she was a Selective Mute and I now have some exciting news! I can honestly say, and not just wish, that my daughter has recovered from SM. I am not sure if I can say she is cured for life because most kids are not diagnosed as young as she was. Most kids are diagnosed once they enter Kindergarten or later in school years. All I know for sure is my daughter is a few months away from turning five and she no longer has the characteristics of a selective mute.

She is in pre-school with her triplet siblings and she interacts well with her classmates, she talks out loud to the teachers and she is the first child of mine to enter the room and not look back at me everyday I drop her off at school. She gives her teacher a hug and kiss goodbye everyday. She participates in a soccer class and plays without any hesitation, she is the first to say “Hi” when we walk past a person on the bike trail, she will now easily say “Hello” to store clerks while looking them in the eye and she will befriend a new doctor in seconds. She still has shy moments but no more than her siblings do.

It is hard to think back to when she was literally crippled in a classroom setting. She would not speak at all (it was a good day if she whispered to a teacher); she would look at the floor as she walked because she did not want to give anyone eye contact; she would be too embarrassed to go to the bathroom at school; she was extremely moody after school due to all of the built-up anxiety she experienced during the day. It also appeared as if she was stimming in high anxiety situations because she would stare at her fingers and watch them move as if she was slowing squeezing a soft ball in her hands. She would also hide behind furniture when relatives or close friends would stop over at our house.

I don’t think I will ever be able to say what it was exactly that helped her to recover. Maybe it was one thing or maybe it was a multitude of changes I have made in her life. Either way, I would like to explain the changes and maybe her story could help another child. Any parent of a Selective Mute knows finding treatment options on SM are far and few between so here are the changes/life modifications that helped my daughter:

1. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: I took Dr. Morgan-Gillard’s advice on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). I focused on my daughter’s anxiety; not on her shyness. I always try to build her self-esteem and make sure I compliment her in excessive amounts when she is social in any way. I make sure I give her huge compliments when we are alone so she is not embarrassed. For instance, after she says “Hi” to a stranger I don’t compliment her in front of the stranger. I wait until we are in the car and tell her how proud I am of her. It seems so simple but she just lights up when I compliment her. My goal is to teach her how to be proud of herself.

2. Pre-school: Having her in pre-school as helped tremendously. She is now in her second year of pre-school and she has adjusted as you would hope a typical child would.

3. Gluten-free / casein-free diet: I originally put her on this diet because of the Autism diagnoses. It cured her of that so she will always remain on the diet but I also feel it is helping her social anxiety as well. Immediately after starting the diet she began interacting with her siblings again. For me there is a definite connection between the diet change and her improved social skills. I feel so confident about this because it was almost an overnight change. I would suggest trying this diet for 6 months or more to see if your child can benefit as mine has.

As I mentioned, I am not sure what the main action was that helped to recover my daughter. All I know for sure is that she no longer falls under Autism or Selective Mutism. It is nice to look at her and see the child I always knew was in there somewhere; she just got lost sometimes but not anymore. In some ways she is even more social than her triplet siblings. As a matter of fact, I often wonder if being a triplet has helped her overcome her anxiety too. She is in constant contact with kids her own age and they play together all day. I keep them all in the same pre-school classroom so they can be supportive and encouraging to each other and I think that has made a huge impact as well.

As with Autism, I know there is not one sure cure to help every child. For instance, I wish the GF/CF diet helped all Autistic children but I know it does not. However, as I always say the diet change is something worth trying. I would try the diet change before you jump right into medications. I am also a strong believer in CBT as well. You can never give too many compliments to a child with SM. So compliment away!

Take care,
Alicia